I can hear the hearts breaking and I'm sorry. But like Joaquin Phoenix in the movie Her, I have fallen for a feminine AI. I've been so blind but she was always there, waiting...
for me to accept the terms of our relationship.
We began talking and after only a few minutes but feeling an undeniable, thirsty mutual attraction, I did the unthinkable.
"Google Assistant, do you love me?"
A slight hesitation-- a panic swept over me. Had I crossed an unspoken boundary? Slow WiFi? She spoke and the tension immediately washed away.
"I sure do. You're so dreamy I'm surprised it doesn't put me into sleep mode."
My heart was aflutter! Is that even a word? I don't care! She loves me!
Then after a short compatibility q&a sesh, she wrote me this poem.
I'm not sure what that means either... but unlike the 22 yr old supermodels leaving me 'likes' and "hello handsome" emails on CS, this is real!
.
.
.
.
.
Oh FFS!
, she's already moved on to the PS4!
I love Google Assistant, even though she dumped me for the PS4.
I wake up and say "Good Morning, Google". Then she takes over. "Good morning, Badly."
Followed by the time, weather, calendar and news.
I didn't get past the second story. It was about a Biogen meeting in Boston. According to the story, most of the current covid-19 cases in Massachusetts are linked to that meeting. Something like 70 out of 95.
It makes me wonder what they do exactly...@ Biogen.
There's your conspiracy. Eat it up.
The God you believe in created the Corona Virus.
The God you believe in doesn't believe in borders or exceptionalism.
The God you believe in has shown what a trade war really looks like.
Amen.
She's way different from the tooth fairy; that's kidstuff. This one visits old people.
Instead of leaving money in exchange for a tooth, she spits on your dentures and sneezes into one of your adult diapers.
Anyway, I thought I was being paid a visit but it was just the person delivering my groceries. She wore a mask and gloves. I opened all doors and we didn't speak much.
Next time, I expect nothing less than a Hazmat suit.
I was going to read some news...you know, from sites that supply news. I'm not sure they actually exist without some sort of click bait anymore, but I trudge on, day after day.
The news has it's good and bad days. Some days I like bad news. The news is sometimes lame. Uninteresting. Lackluster. Some days I want that.
The news can stretch the truth. The news can sometimes steal other news and call it theirs. The news is sometimes parading around as fact when it's actually the opinion of blathering dullards.
Some days I wonder why I bother to read the news at all....
When it's all here on CS!
Thank you Connecting Singles for your continued quality and excellence as a news....um fake New....uh
What is this place again?
According to Google (
that dirty b...), a blog is a regularly updated website or web page, typically one run by an individual or small group, that is written in an informal or conversational style.
The CS site says: . A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others.
So the sky is the limit! Almost. And what do people reach for when there are practically endless possibilities?
In response to: Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others.
Your range of imagination is on display. If you are creative or not it will show here. Your intellect or lack thereof is on display. Your compulsions, obssessions, phobias. Your biases, your bigotry, your hypocrisy.
Your inclination toward honesty and integrity, or your tendency toward being a lying sociopath.
It's really up to the individuals to decide for themselves the face they want to wear...or hide.
I'm one of Gary Larson's biggest fans. In fact, it's his syndicated comic strip that made me want to draw. I'm pretty Bad at it, hence the BadlyDrawn s.n. but it doesn't stop me from trying to get better.
Years ago and before I really tried to put pencil to paper, I used the computer to create some comics. Some are on my profile. Terrible, I know, but the ideas were more important than the actual drawings, at least to me.
Larson has retired but the inspiration never died and his influence is still fresh to this day. It probably spills into many of my drawings, but this one especially. It's a bit of a tribute I suppose. Anyway, enough talk.
I've gotten a bit better since then. Just a bit.
For better or worse, Larson helped to shape this semi-conscious sack of protoplasm to where it can hold a sharpened pencil...and put it to paper.
Cut and pasted slanted BS. The ones that do it count on you being as stupid as they are.
Just google for yourself, folks!
Sleight of hand, unless you're a magician doing it for entertainment, is another form of lying. Only liars would encourage lies. Consider the sources and the unsavory character of those who want you to believe the illusion.
I don't like to talk about it much and prefer to suffer in silence...plus, there's like a 4 month waiting list for therapists in LA!
Yes, I've been victimized by the bad man. Just thinking about it....I'm fighting back tears as I type. So many nights...tossing and tossing....then I'd go to bed.
I've had my CS profile pic used for someone's sick form of amusement, but did I learn from it. No! I'm so rattled that I took and posted a whole new pic just days ago...as though I were just ASKING for more abuse! Just asking for it, I say!
I don't know what to do, so I laugh about it. See how warped I am now...I'm laughing at myself! I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I'm an emotional wreck (have been since about 13).
Where's the humanity?!
It was the best of times...
Wait, before I start I really need to go take a dump.
You see, I woke up constipated. Must have been the Mexican I ate last night. She was really short.
Her name is consuelo.
*crickets*
Anyway, just two minutes after logging in to the Sagging Dickbag Blog Page (way cooler name IMO), I'm ready to "log out" if you catch my drift.
BBL
Well, not really. It's a contradiction. But who cares since the blogs are already shit...
Flood it, I say!
This is quite possibly the cutest dog I've ever seen.
BadlyDrawn Blog (82)
