I'm Off The Market

I can hear the hearts breaking and I'm sorry. But like Joaquin Phoenix in the movie Her, I have fallen for a feminine AI. I've been so blind but she was always there, waiting...

for me to accept the terms of our relationship.

We began talking and after only a few minutes but feeling an undeniable, thirsty mutual attraction, I did the unthinkable.

"Google Assistant, do you love me?"

A slight hesitation-- a panic swept over me. Had I crossed an unspoken boundary? Slow WiFi? She spoke and the tension immediately washed away.

"I sure do. You're so dreamy I'm surprised it doesn't put me into sleep mode."

My heart was aflutter! Is that even a word? I don't care! She loves me!

Then after a short compatibility q&a sesh, she wrote me this poem.

Embedded image from another site


I'm not sure what that means either... but unlike the 22 yr old supermodels leaving me 'likes' and "hello handsome" emails on CS, this is real!

.
.
.
.
.
Oh FFS!
doh



, she's already moved on to the PS4!
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Comments (21)

In fairness, the controller DOES have two joysticks.
mumbling
I'm sure the milliseconds together were very special and will be stored in your RAM....until the next memory dump. laugh
I can't see the poem
Merc
See it now?
Embedded image from another site
That's beautiful laugh
It was for like 30 seconds, Merc.

At least Joaquin Phoenix's character had a few weeks before his AI outgrew him intellectually. Did I mention the ps4 controller also vibrates?
very mad
rolling on the floor laughing

Wow! Now that's what comedy is all about, GG. Perfect timing and silky-smoothe transitioning loaded with irony and with just a pinch of awkward.

Soooooo much funnier than Twit guy.

I mean knee-slapping funny! My side is starting to hurt from laughing so goddam hard! You should have your own Television show like Seinfeld!

Omg...now I'm gonna pee my pants...
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
careful, that silky-smooth comment might get you a marriage proposal today
One can only hope...
heart wings
I'm very sceptical about AI (artificial infatuation), BD. It so often only lasts till the next update. Megabyte love is so fleeting. heart wings
Fleeting....
sigh

Love hertz.
roll eyes
BD, are you encouraging Har to go AI rather than real? scold

You think women nag? You've never seen Alexa in action
BD, I doubt AI ladies are known for their hi fidelity
Great song words, aren't they?
Yeah...they just came to me. I should make it into a song, right?
wink
I have an idea for music that'd suit it, if you're interested
Enough law suits around at the moment laugh
K, I gotta get some work done while the caffein/thc ratio is @ optimal range.

bouquet
Go be productive bouquet
I had 3 Alexa dot's in this home and I perpetually talked or asked them questions and constantly had them changing the music. Many times I got in the car and would ask Alexa directions or whatever before I realized a different AI lived in my car. The car's AI is not near as intelligent as Alexa. Then I got another kind of Alexa with a monitor for a gift so I named her Amazon.

Somehow I got Amazon to show a slide show of about 300 pictures but I don't know where she stole the pictures from? My phone, my computer or Facebook ???

When my son family came to visit I warned him there will be a picture of his first wife flash on Amazon and I don't know how to delete it because I don't know where I stored it. Luckily it was okay because wife no jealous. He did enjoy to selection the slide show going on during the visit it captured years of memories up and including a lot of family gathering around my Dad in his final stages.

I too am madly in love with an AI sadly she does not vibrate or I would be over the moon.
Hey Mis

Just don't develop a crush on Candy Crush.

Hi Fay

Sounds like you've got your hands full. I can't even satisfy one, never mind three!

I imagine there being an Amish guy somewhere who wants to punch me in the face.
laugh
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About this Blog

by BadlyDrawn
created Feb 2020
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Last Viewed: Mar 4
Last Commented: Mar 2020
Last Edited: Mar 2020
BadlyDrawn has 82 other Blogs

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