Being Prepared for It

Do you think being prepared for death of a dear one is easier than it happening unexpectedly? Maybe
In my experience life blindsided me in my youth 3 times from late teens to early twenties with the sudden death of my 3.5 month old son, a 29 yr. old husband and the murder of my biological mom when she was 39 yrs. (all within a 3 yr. period) Not getting into the details of the emotional. It’s as harsh as it gets but you eventually keep moving forward.

In my experience I’ve also learned that waiting on someone to die is the longest wait to endure. My Dad has had a very rewarding long life at 93 or 96, can’t remember now he is one of the living Dead. Will his eventual death hurt as the ones that blindsided me when I was younger? My guess is it won’t be as agonizing. This watching him die also lets me watch how much Mom and him still love each other. Yesterday was their 66th anniversary – WOW huh. It’s a long time to love.

I love “the Love” my folks have even though they are each other’s third marriage. I only get to experience that kind of love with a dog and it’s a wonderful love. My little dog Bella has been by my side 24/7 for 16 yrs. (she made it to 18 yrs. Old). I watched the end coming which is hard enough seeing them lose their abilities. I’ve wished many times at the end of my pets’ life they would go in their sleep but always dealt the card to make the decision when their life quality is gone.

It was a harsh goodbye. Every time I leave the house I try to grab her and in an instant the finality of the reality flashes. Heart hurts like hell but the rest of me is actually great. My mind is in constant thought of the gazillion wonderful memories to be thankful for. The pain of the loss is SO WORTH all the years of LOVE.