Found Love in my Fridge

While cleaning out my fridge looking for missing plates I found a large cabbage hidden behind ½ empty jars of green moldy stuff, at first I just placed the cabbage on the table with the intention of simply binning it, without warning the cabbage spoke to me, you would have thought I would have been scared but it spoke in a quiet female voice, calming and very sexy too.

Turns out her name is Michelle and she comes from Slovakia, We had been up all night talking and laughing and got on very well.

Things just happened, one minute we were talking about writing paper and the next we were upstairs, I removed her plastic wrapping and saw just how beautiful she was, the night was spent exploring each other in ways I had never dreamed possible, just peeling away her outer leaves made me feel reborn. Lately the only person interested in my body has been the undertaker, I’m bowled over!.

I’m not sure how to proceed, what will people say when they see me taking her to the coffee bar or simply shopping, she says that we will be accepted, I’m in a quandary and don’t know if I should break up with her or hope our love is accepted.

I have seen stories on the dark web where humans and vegetables have found love, they all end up the same way, the vegetable partner rots away to a fetid liquefied mess and the human just gets another vegetable to love, maybe vegetable swapping is a good thing, maybe not.

She is in the kitchen right now, the smell of a full English breakfast wafting through the house, maybe this time I have found the one?

I will decide after breakfast, if she cleans up the kitchen I maybe on a winner here.

Image of Michelle the gorgeous cabbage sitting on my face...........She tastes so good!