Unknown

Unknown

Jan 2018

1,628 Views

Dying wishes.

We all know about dying wishes, how they must be strictly followed and are sacrosanct. It is against all the laws of nature and various belief systems that such rules are followed to the letter, and so after much soul searching I have decided on my dying wishes, which are as follows- I want my ashes scattered right through the Sorbent toilet paper factory, in particular all the fillings and shards of bone to be spread around the production line with a leaf blower. I'll work out what to do with all the money and houses later.

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Comments (46)

Annleerose●Port of spain, Port of Spain Trinidad and Tobago

Jan 26, 2018●2 Blogs●437 Comments

Same though Catfoot ,

What a soft way to go ,

mollybaby●Cork City, Cork Ireland

Jan 26, 2018●37 Blogs●11,285 Comments

Pat, how about this?

I will spread your ashes in the factory, if you leave the cash and houses to me

mollybaby●Cork City, Cork Ireland

Jan 26, 2018●37 Blogs●11,285 Comments

Pat, stop coming up with problems.

Everybody knows that people want soft toilet tissue now, but that is just a fad.

It is easy to get fake news out on Twitter, so before you know it, the news that environmentally-friendly organic material such as bone-meal is a much better material for posterior cleaning than just paper alone

I'll work on the feather issue later.

TokyoRogue●Perth, Western Australia Australia

Jan 26, 2018●273 Comments

I'd like to made into a figurehead for the prow of a ship named The Recalcitrant.

mollybaby●Cork City, Cork Ireland

Jan 26, 2018●37 Blogs●11,285 Comments

Cat, he only owns brown streets

Kalpataru●somewhere close to, Jakarta Indonesia

Jan 26, 2018●34 Blogs●1,846 Comments

Pat8, I don't really care about your ashes. All I want after you die is the wallabies and the Mango trees.

pat8lanipsOP●babinda, Queensland Australia

Jan 26, 2018●74 Blogs●2,239 Comments

Please take the wallabies as an early bequeathment, they probably taste a bit like watermelon at the moment. My watermelons.

Kalpataru●somewhere close to, Jakarta Indonesia

Jan 26, 2018●34 Blogs●1,846 Comments

You eat wallaby's meat, Pat8?

Your Watermelons, are they red or yellow?

pat8lanipsOP●babinda, Queensland Australia

Jan 26, 2018●74 Blogs●2,239 Comments

Kangaroo meat for sure, but only from the shops. All native animals are protected here. I've grown a few types of watermelon, all pink/red. And honeydews, and rockmelons, but so far I've never tasted any of them. But I'm still enjoying the mangoes, and sometimes mulberries.

Kalpataru●somewhere close to, Jakarta Indonesia

Jan 26, 2018●34 Blogs●1,846 Comments

Have never tasted them? Why? You grow them for your wallabies only?
Watermelon is ok for me, but not Honeydews nor Rockmelons. I don't like the smell.

Kalpataru●somewhere close to, Jakarta Indonesia

Jan 26, 2018●34 Blogs●1,846 Comments

And oh I like Mulberries. When I was young, I used to eat them from my friend's garden. But now it's not easy to find.

Barbarossa52●Amman, Jordan

Jan 26, 2018●3 Comments

I think this futile debate leads to nowhere....
I t doesn't have the minimum of common sense!!

pat8lanipsOP●babinda, Queensland Australia

Jan 26, 2018●74 Blogs●2,239 Comments

The wallabies think they're just for them. They arent. But what do you do?

daniela777●Mi Paraiso, Murcia Spain

Jan 26, 2018●2,126 Comments

Don't worry Barba, this is typical humour of our Aussie friend here.

mollybaby●Cork City, Cork Ireland

Jan 26, 2018●37 Blogs●11,285 Comments

Pat, would you not consider burying your ashes under your mango tree?

Then everytime a hottie is slurping on a mango with juice running down her chin, you will be there in the midst of it.

pat8lanipsOP●babinda, Queensland Australia

Jan 26, 2018●74 Blogs●2,239 Comments

I could achieve the same thing if I decided to have my ashes scattered at a greengrocers shop.

mollybaby●Cork City, Cork Ireland

Jan 26, 2018●37 Blogs●11,285 Comments

No Pat

Under the mango tree ensures that you are there forever, for every crop.

You would just get hoovered up in the evening at the greengrocers

Palmfrond●Easton, Pennsylvania USA

Jan 26, 2018●156 Blogs●1,206 Comments

I have dibs on the contents of your refrigerator

wenever●perry, Florida USA

Jan 26, 2018●89 Blogs●2,159 Comments

Molly,

you might have something there.

Kalpataru●somewhere close to, Jakarta Indonesia

Jan 26, 2018●34 Blogs●1,846 Comments

In response to: Pat, would you not consider burying your ashes under your mango tree?

Pleeaaassseee don't, Pat8. The tree is mine. I don't want to have your ashes there. The wallabies might not be able to move on as they will keep remembering you.

I will give you a better choice.

How about the beach.. You can feel the smooth bodies of hotties whenever they lye their bodies there. Sounds better?

MimiArt7348●KL, Kuala Lumpur Malaysia

Jan 26, 2018●15 Blogs●768 Comments

Uhmmmm.....are the houses and cash still available??

Or has Molly gotten her hands on them already?!?!?

Elegsabiff●Motril-ish, Andalusia Spain

Jan 27, 2018●358 Blogs●9,358 Comments

Now I'm inspired to think up some really challenging last wishes

Up to now I just concentrated on tailor-making my own funeral. It's going to be a wowser, I'm really sorry I'll miss it by just a few days.

TokyoRogue●Perth, Western Australia Australia

Jan 27, 2018●273 Comments

They say the Irish are always good for the crack

mollybaby●Cork City, Cork Ireland

Jan 27, 2018●37 Blogs●11,285 Comments

TR, that's craic

Elegsabiff●Motril-ish, Andalusia Spain

Jan 27, 2018●358 Blogs●9,358 Comments

Molly, you don't count anyway, I've seen you in real life

Not like I'm going to get the benefit of the pics anyway, unless I'm peering down from some astral plane, but at least the rest of you get a good laugh and probably some surprises

mollybaby●Cork City, Cork Ireland

Jan 27, 2018●37 Blogs●11,285 Comments

Always finish your own sentences, TR .

You mightn't like how the other person finishes them

mollybaby●Cork City, Cork Ireland

Jan 27, 2018●37 Blogs●11,285 Comments

Biff, there is no faceless I want to see, that I haven't already seen, so I'm good

TokyoRogue●Perth, Western Australia Australia

Jan 27, 2018●273 Comments

moll - fire away petal, I can take it.

Elegsabiff●Motril-ish, Andalusia Spain

Jan 27, 2018●358 Blogs●9,358 Comments

Yeah but Molly, you aren't about to blow into a million tiny pieces of exploded lung. Or trying to find a dying wish to impose as an imperative which MUST be obeyed.

Neither am I, right now, breathing fully back to 100% normal, in, out, in, out. Phew.

Kalpataru●somewhere close to, Jakarta Indonesia

Jan 27, 2018●34 Blogs●1,846 Comments

May you live forever, Pat8, so I don't have to stop eating ice cream.

pat8lanipsOP●babinda, Queensland Australia

Jan 27, 2018●74 Blogs●2,239 Comments

Well, its easier to stop eating ice cream than it is stop using toilet paper. But who knows, I might have my ashes divided up so I can have them scattered at numerous locations.

Kalpataru●somewhere close to, Jakarta Indonesia

Jan 27, 2018●34 Blogs●1,846 Comments

Greedy!

usha123●Colombo, Western Sri Lanka

Jan 27, 2018●41 Blogs●2,277 Comments

I want my body cremated. But I think I will leave my thumb for Tokyo.

he is a writer. He can use it for some inspiration.

GregKeegan●Moliagul, Victoria Australia

Feb 19, 2018●5 Comments

Also, where in Australia are you, which state? Central Victoria, myself.

pat8lanipsOP●babinda, Queensland Australia

Feb 19, 2018●74 Blogs●2,239 Comments

I think it would be best added at the packaging stage, to retain that crisp grittiness...

I'm in North Queensland, kind of near Cairns.

mollybaby●Cork City, Cork Ireland

Feb 19, 2018●37 Blogs●11,285 Comments

Greg, there used to be a fella from further North to you on here before. A madhead. He lived near Mildura

GregKeegan●Moliagul, Victoria Australia

Feb 19, 2018●5 Comments

If that is the case then straight into the air conditioning fans because after the air filter because they won't have upgraded to reverse cycle, you'll get a better coverage than with the blower. :)

GregKeegan●Moliagul, Victoria Australia

Feb 19, 2018●5 Comments

though the blower will give a greater concentration to a select few if you really want them to experience that full grit sensation.

Kalpataru●somewhere close to, Jakarta Indonesia

Feb 19, 2018●34 Blogs●1,846 Comments

Pat8, are you changing your dying wishes again? I mean again?

pat8lanipsOP●babinda, Queensland Australia

Feb 19, 2018●74 Blogs●2,239 Comments

I'll probably keep changing my ideas, I'm not sure how much ashes there are from a body. It would be good to have my ashes placed in the flavour sachets at the mia goreng factory.

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created Jan 2018

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