Family Blogs (544)

Ruby...




I have a niece named Crystal and her daughter is Diamond.

i recently met
my friend after
many years.
she was very
happy to meet
me... we were
talking many
of our past life
true stories
felt very relaxed
but.. sometimes
i saw my friend had
some sadness
in the face
i was little worried
i asked her
what is that
bothering her
i would like to
know... then
the story.....

unfolded
she told me that couple of
days back she
had someone
to meet someplace
when she reached it was
bit early...

so.. she decide
to drink tea from a near a
tea shop . ...
walked towards
the shop... saw
a lady in a corner place crying loudly
she thought maybe... she
needs food... and purchased
the food from the tea shop
went and given
to that lady....

but. .. the lady
cried more now
so... she asked
her why are you
crying... do you
need some money or something.. then
the

poor lady told
her.. that she had

her daughter
14 years old
who was kidnabbed few
days back...
did you go to
police?

yes... but they
are not taking
my fir.. without.
my daughter
photograph
madam how can i give photo
we are living
in the foot path...

dont have any
place to live
we dont have
any photos... my friend. then
spoke to her
nicely in a comforting way.
given
her some money.
. told her she will try and help her out.

when i asked
is she going
help.?
she said sadly
No.....
i am having my
family to think
who kidnabbed
the girl... may be
gang of criminals... i dont want to get involved.




continued in the comment
section...

The global meltdown of 2007 to 2011 (Part 4, my saga as a cancer survivor)

Just when you think you're on top of the world, you're life comes crushing down with so high a voltage you'd feel better off without surviving it.

That's exactly how I felt when right about 2007, January to be exact, we were trying to sell the house that we bought two years before and couldn't fetch a single offer considering how it's located in one of the best area in Sonoma County. Located on a street that's not busy and with a view of the city, it was a very surprising discovery. Unlike in 2005 when we sold our house that I had it built to my specs including the quality of the carpet and my walked in closet, people were actually waiting on the lawn to make a bid just to be the next owner. Surprisingly, we sold it way more than what we expected. Even though it's location is of prime value, very near St. Eugene's where we belong amongst other 6,000 parishioners and where my son attends, we had to sell it because we needed a bigger house for my growing lovely children. Time changed and the economic downturn of the US was deeply felt especially by me when we couldn't get any offer on this house in 2007.

To get the story short, my husband and I felt the first wave of this global downturn right off the bat. It didn't feel too grievous and we thought it'd be temporary. Our family situation was changed dramatically the year before as my husband and I decided that one of us must stop working in order to continue and maintain our children's much needed guidance. We both agreed that I'd be full time since I was making a bit more than him and my job didn't require us to relocate to the West Coast where he was working as an engineer at the well known and historical Granite Rock in Aromas.

For lack of hindsight, we never foresee that the world was in the brink of another economic fall out akin to that of 1939.

Compounded by my relentless desire to provide my children a very ideal school and growing environment, I failed to see that our family that was solid rock both professionally and economically will soon to collapse. It did. Although we lost almost 60 grand, we were able to sell it and moved on. It caused a lot of dent on my 401k but survived.

Through the invitation of my niece we moved to Bakersfield. We could buy a house in a gated community twice the size of that from the North Bay and half the mortgage. We were happy . Sold BMWs while my husband worked again and was offered a better position and quite paid better than his last job. Lo and behold, we'll soon find out our situation got worse because the house we just bought of 300 hundred grand became half of the value by 2009. Devastated and angry. Bitterly regretful and helpless, we got divorced. A most painful experience. The acceptance of what to be salvaged is far worse than to end it all. At least that's how I felt but it didn't dwell on me that long. I found inspiration on the fact that my children are so grown up and my only son seems out of the danger of being hauled into the road of drugs and other dangerous vices. I found solace in being single and committed to make my life better in spite of the adversaries the whole world was experiencing. I resorted into writing poems about my life from when I was young to the present. The internet played a great role on this new venture. I joined in the web and found solace on writing all my frustrations, disappointments and failures. I was beginning to see how my life was profoundly changing and I needed to be stronger than I ever was. Especially now that my cancer came back. That was in October of 2010.

To be continued. Thanks all for reading.

Note: my personal blog

Tag. ) From the department of R U [ family ] kidding ?

CNN-- presumably with a business suit & a straight face, is now investigating as to whether all the new COVID FUSTERCLUCKME cases may be due to
....$HIFT LOCK.....
The mRNA TECHNOLOGY IN $UM OF THE VACCINES

McBob. } In other words, what the Marine & myself ( aka, ripper the Empath ) TOLD you A YEAR AGO...
... MALPRACTICE SUIT / 4 out of 5 doctors
Pandemic / Comethazine
What did you expect from the Vaccines ? / Vaccines
...also ran. ) Infectious hospital waste / Dem Hammer

Standby. CNN.... clearly Now...nutjob.

My siblings and I have been 'orphans' since April of 2017, when my last parent made her exit from this life. Her pictures, words, mannerisms, efforts, and other elements of her existence often cross my mind. Even more so, is the fact that persons who knew her remind me that I look, speak/sound, act and think like a younger version of her. Unfortunately, that very similarity may have been the cause of our frequent 'head-butting' whilst she was here. All I can cherish now are the memories.

A part of showing love is cherishing those that you care about. They may be friends, family, pets, work colleagues, neighbours, etc. It is especially important, I think, to cherish those who give meaning to our life, even if indirectly so. A phone call, a small token/gesture, a kind note, a word of thanks, a smile, a hug, a wave....a little can go a long way.

Don't wait...let's cherish each other today.

I first heard this line from the late Elizabeth Taylor and when I heard her reasons, didn't make any sense to me at all.

I must have been 33 years old and I felt at that time that my life truly began way before that. From her perspectives it didn't hit on me then what she truly meant until 20 years ago.

I was born from a very poor family which made me look at things very differently from others. I worked hard, didn't follow cultural values of getting married to someone chosen by my parents and elders who grew up with arranged marriages. Complete with selection from suitors who is subject to scrutiny as far as providing a good life for me. No romance, no love to consider. I figured if I would go to school and get me a good job, I'd be more than capable to do that myself without being a dependent on anyone. My father and mother agreed. With their support and scholarship I was able to graduate with honors from elementary, high school, college and masters' degree.

To cut the story short, I succeeded in materializing my dreams. Achieved my goals and at 24, my life truly started as I planned. Traveled the world and very happy and felt very blessed. My children were born and had so much fun. I felt blessed and thought life was complete.

When I heard this saying, for the first time, I didn't understand at all.

Fast forward and after so many ups and downs, losing houses and investments, getting divorce and overcome not one but two cancers, it finally makes sense to me.

Life truly begins at 50, or at least for me even 60.

I must have been 12 or 13 years old when my father was pushing us along to get ready and go out. What was I doing? Probably watching TV.
He said "Get your pants, shoes and socks on"
I did EXACTLY what he said.
That's when I got a whoopin'

This could all have been avoided if he had told me to put on my pants, socks and shoes.

The Bitterness of Divorce

The 2019 movie — Holiday in the Wild further highlighted some of the emotions experienced when a marriage is coming to an end. These different emotions usually highlights what the marriage meant to the individuals that are involved. In the movie, Kate Conrad[Kristin Davis] was devastated when her husband — Drew Conrad told her that he was moving out and that their marriage was over, it was a huge blow for her even though things were not particularly great in their marriage.
People experience different and difficult emotions when an intimate marital relationship breaks down. Emotions ranging from disappointment in themselves because they didn’t put enough effort to make it work[the blame game starts here and it is not good for your mental well-being], hurt, break down of trust, shame, guilt, bitterness, sadness; because these emotions are not visible the individual might look okay even when they come to work but deep down they are suffering and require help before things go out of hand.
Some people feel really embarrassed when their marriage fails and it makes them feel that they have failed, these feelings become severe depending on their commitment to the marriage, their kind of person, social circle, family, religious and cultural influence, and more.
My awareness of my emotions was not this developed when I experienced divorce years ago but, it was tough for me to come face-to-face with the relationships in my life and my circle of friends, the church community and more. I avoided them like a plague because apart from the torrents of emotions and personal disappointment in myself for even going into the marriage in the first instance and also my lack of wisdom or strength of character to keep the marriage together, they were far from being supportive but judging and you could read from their body language and facial expression,
Therefore to help you navigate the hurt and pain that result from a broken marriage, whether you are at the verge of it or you have been divorced, here are 5 Mindsets to have in order to move past it
DON’T GET IN THE BLAME GAME
There would be a thousand reason to want to blame yourself for the demise of your marriage which is what most people would do, and I am not asking you not to take responsibility for what has happened however, remember it takes the two people involved to make it work or not, however, the challenge with just blaming yourself is that it would make you feel worse with an already difficult situation and you cannot afford the baggage of such emotion. Get past that simplistic and easy way out thinking and get help with gaining better perspective why the marriage didn’t work from your own end, become aware of the learning points so that you can do things differently when next you have the opportunity.
2. YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF TO BE HAPPY
Marriage is an important decision we enter into, just like every major decision of our lives however in spite of our effort to succeed, somethings just don’t work no matter how hard we try. Therefore, we must admit if it isn’t working and not use our psyche, loss of self esteem or self confidence or becoming a shadow of your old self as a statement to make anyone know it wasn’t worth continuing.
Marriage does not make anyone happy. If you are not a happy person before going into marriage, it won’t make you happy. Happiness is a function of service, what cause are you giving yourself to? After all said and done, it is still your life therefore be happy and live to your fullest potential. Choose to be happy, when you are living a life of purpose and significance you will be happy.
3. CHANGE YOUR CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE & LOCATION.
In the movie — Holiday in the Wild, Kate went on a vacation to Zambia in Africa from her regular New York life. That change helped her to focus less on herself particularly when she saw the Elephant calf whose mother had been killed by poachers. She regained one of the emotions.

I was lucky to have parents that didn't divorce. Some of my friends did. When their parents remarried, they had a tough life growing up as 'the step-child', usually torn between accepting difficult terms for visitation, alienation from a distant biological parent and power struggles when the step-parent wasn't accepting them... on any terms.
Some carried the experience of being a step-child like a chip on their shoulder.

One guy who had an older sister and a younger brother was raised with both biological parents... no divorce. However, they were the meanest parents I knew of. He couldn't wait to get a job and move away from home. He became a successful musician, married and had 2 kids. While he was on the road (earning a living and sending money home) his wife has an affair that led to divorce. The experience literally caused a career change so he didn't repeat the same mistake.
Dysfunctional would be a good description of his home life growing up and he brought that into his marriage as well.

Looking back, those kids had it easy as some of my school mates were adopted. Some not knowing who their biological parents were. To grow up knowing you weren't accepted at birth is a hard road to travel. While things have changed with orphanages opening records and DNA testing, that doesn't change the past.

On a brighter note, I do recall one couple adopting a baby girl from Asia. The adoption requirements were strict. They had the funds and knowledge to do it right where their daughter although 'different' from her classmates was a shining star and accepted by everyone she came in contact with.







Traumatic chip on the shoulder...