Family Blogs (544)

how about renewing the relationship? Remarrying/reattaching with the same person? Who hasn't heard of this intriguing life maneuver, and perhaps even considered it for themselves? Spend a little time here and elsewhere on the dating scenes, and up pop incentives a plenty. And the miracles of tincture of time and experience can have much to recommend them. In my case, the mom of our twins and I now have a wonderful friendship, a decade after separating, that seems to get better all the time. To be sure, we still can push each other's buttons, and with her being brighter than I am, it often leaves me in a man huff, in the man cave. Bravo gets to watch it all. I hate his knowing doggy smile at these times. But the bad memories must fight it out with the good. WOW!

But the topic is a sensitive one for me and I'm not ready to spill my blood and guts on these pages just yet so here's a little something I whipped up in the meantime.

Not many pictures as of now to post. Exhausted. Relieved. One down, three more to go.

Three sisters and a friend. The bride and her maids.
Hindu bride in her first saree.


Hair.


Second saree presented by the groom along with a gold necklace called Thali. The red dot on her forehead and the necklace are the symbols of a married woman.


I didn't know what was happening and what anything meant. I just did what I was asked to do. It was a brand new experience with another religion.

I asked my other daughters not to marry a Hindu nor go with any rituals. I can not handle those. One was more than enough.

But never say never. I am a mother. I will do anything for them if that is what they want.


Giving away the bride.

I had my DNA done by 23andMe and the results came as a surprise. I am 46.2% British & Irish, 15.8% French & German, and 18.7% Ashkenazi Jewish.

I have found my Maternal birth family but still have no idea who my birth father is or who his family might be. This is why I am searching.

So according to the results, I better get sized for a skull cap.

Am thinking these past days...just that, I could not think what must be the BEST GIFT for a son, who worked hard in school, to compensate the hardship of his Mom.
My son will graduate in senior high, and got high honours. Passed the scholarship exam, which means, deminished burdens of tution fees, and will receive financial support from department of higher education for his allowances. Happiest , proud mom and GRATEFUL. A gift is never asked, so I could not asked him, as it's supposedly a surprise..
But if I would ask...he might say...I want my Dad...lol..

Having a great family support system makes it fairly easy to deal with what my aging parents are going through. I'm glad I have no need to throw a pity party and can find things to be grateful for. What a jolt I got yesterday when my neighbor called to say one of our friends who hasn't been feeling well got some test results back showing she has Lukemia.

Lukemia? Crap with a captial C.

This is a very pretty woman in her sixties, very nice. I only met her two years ago, she walks her dog by my place twice a day. She lives about five homes down and walks to her 91 yr. old blind Mum's home everyday to fix food or give some care. The mom lives alone and does fairly well, not sure what is now in her future. I often send extra food I made with her to give Mum.

I don't know much about Lukemia nor do I know what to say. I asked my neighbor who has been friends with her for many years how she handled the news. The neighbor said that until she wraps her head around it, she doesn't much feel like talking about it.

I was thinking how awful her situation was until I heard the news of the shootings in New Zealand and how many families are going through agony. I was listening to a country music station when that news report went through. I almost wish I hadn't heard it because now I'm filled with sadness for so many.

I count my blessings and they are many.

It's almost been a year now since I semi retired and moved a hundred miles to Tampa where my elderly folks live. I've talked for many years about my intentions to move here in retirement to help them but I never actually considered retireing.

The way life played out was a home went up for sale suddenly in my old neighborhood near my folks. One of my BFFs from 40 years ago called me in Orlando and said the place next to her went up for sale and it was going to move fast. Someone died in it though, of course she neglected to tell me that at first. Anyways I drove up, couldn't resist the deal and bought it for a place to retire to. It sat empty for a couple of years while I used it as a vacation home when I visited Tampa. My boss encouraged me to make a plan for retirement, which was to take two years to phase me out. Next month it becomes final. First time in a long time I didn't work my buns off keeping with clients and their taxes from Jan to April.

Oh but destiny decided I wasn't going to have a drama free tax season. You may remember at the beginning of Jan. I mentioned Mom falling at a doctor's office fracturing and dislocating her shoulder along with a back and leg injury. Up until her fall, I wasn't much use to my foks because Mom had Dad under control doing everything. Until she fell, all us four kids worked together and being the only retired one, I got to really help. Well Dad' Alzeimers flared during Mom's down time. He has ended up falling five times since her injury and is now in a physical rehab center. Everyone speaks spanish there except Mom and I. Dad can't remember his spanish. He also has an awful time staying awake. I think he sleeps 22 hours a day.

Today he looked good and was lucid but yesterday as I sat there I thought I was just watching him die. On one hand I almost wish he would pass peacefully in his sleep but on the other hand I hope he recovers enough to come home for Mom's sake.

I can't imagine being an only child and taking all this on alone so I'm thankful for both brothers and baby sister who by the way has Lupas. She should be nearing retirement but she too is in love with a job she is married to so who knows if she will or not.

Anyways, I write all this as therapy for me. I was putting on a pair of shorts awhile ago because it is so hot then I realized I haven't heard any news in weeks so I don't know if it is cold still anywhere or any other dangers going on.

I'm sure glad my home fell into my lap because I think it is one of the best places I've ever lived. I'm loving the living even if everything feels like it's going to hell in a hand basket on one hand yet on the other I'm blessed beyond my wildest dreams to still have my folks and all siblings.

My friend's mom flew in from Napal last week with a big luggage bag full only of native spices (most of them easily obtainable at any American International type supermarket, but of course those are inferior to the ones she buys back home, even when the labels are the same). She had only the clothes she was wearing and a few changes of under garment. This like totally pi ss ed my friend off because on her last visit my friend had bought her mom over $2,000 of clothes and shoes which her mom brought home to Nepal with her.

My friend asked her mom, where are the clothes I bought you? Her mom's reply infuriated her. Oh, your brother's wife and your older sister liked them so I gave them to them. They sold most of it for good prices in the market.

So yesterday my friend came by my place with her mom and after I got in her car we headed to the city. Even though it was Sunday several of the 2nd hand clothing stores were open. My friend learned her lesson. No more buying mom's clothes at Macy's. We found clothes in good condition her mom was okay with.

Later, feeling sorry and guilty we headed to the mall and JC Penny's. We found a pair of sandals which her mom liked ($99.99) and bought them for her. The reasoning is the women in Nepal may not like used shoes. By now my friend was down about $800 and mom had decent winter and spring clothing ensembles. Hopefully enough selection to last her to August when she flies home.

We hit the food court and had a decent lunch, then off to the Walmart supermarket for some groceries.

After that because it was still about 65F and sunny we returned to my home and I put some chairs on my deck for them. Then, because the lesson was overdue, I broke out my old side by side 12 gauge and some ear muffs. My friend is scared of shotguns because she has seen many YouTube videos of women shooting them falling on their a ss. Clearly made by men who dis liked their girl friends. Ignoring her reluctance and playing the bad step father I dragged her over and taught her how to swap barrels, how to open and load unload it, how the 2 trigger system works (her first time with something with 2 triggers), how to hold it, how to stand (some repositioning of her stance and posture was done by me, until it was correct), then I selected some targets for her and gave her some 12 gauge rounds. She loaded them then fired. With a big smile she then asked me for more shells which I provided. <A few years ago I did someone a favor and her dad was so grateful he gave me over 1,000 12 gauge cartridges still boxed as a way of saying thank you.> She ran through about 8 shells in the short 'stage coach' configuration then swapped the barrels to the hunting configuration, then did another 6 shots. Meanwhile her mom watched and beamed. Afterwards she broke the gun open and handed it back, telling me it wasn't nearly as bad as she had thought and that she got this. (Step) Father's pride. :)



We chatted awhile with her interpreting for her mom (who speaks only Nepali) as my Nepali is still poor, too poor to understand it fully when spoken quickly. Unfortunately at her home her doggie was waiting for someone to return to take her for a walk, so my friend had to leave unless she wanted a mess on her carpet which she didn't.

After they departed I fed my own 2 Flerkens, cleaned the shotgun barrels, then watched Walking Dead and went to sleep.

...Sure, the blood testing, and ruling out of the underaged, or of close cousins, (except in places like US Appalachia), make some sense. But we license just about every other nanny state confiscatory taxation generating activity, except parenthood. Want to cut hair or trim cuticles? You'll need the paperwork, ma'am. Severe measures to ensure compliance, with state rules on entrance to the role of parenthood, including mandatory surgical sterilization, welfare amount adjustments, tax policies, fines/prison time, etc. Biomarker controls. Assessments of requisite parental groundedness and financial abilities, and perhaps more, needed for the tickets. Mein Fuehrer, wir muessen es doch vermeiden, dass unsere Untermenschen ihre eigene Kinder haben duerfen. Who said that?

...according to Jerry Seinfeld. In my duties as executor of my folk's estate, I'm learning things, and perhaps being confided in, more these days. Learned of the separation and possible divorce of a close family member, and am saddened greatly. Both of these folks always seemed like decent people, and wonderful parents, to me. Sure, I know that sometimes things evolve into a situation where a couple ain't right any longer. Still, almost always heart heavy to hear it.