Family Blogs (544)

...Born a male? Your chances historically, and almost exclusively today, of active participation in land combat warfare and all THAT entails, are set at birth. Sure, there have been exceptions, as with the IDF and more recently with Kurdish female units, but no one can deny these facts, although watch a few try. And so it is with being female. Males are muscularly more robust, and likely smarter tactically, not to mention in terms of bravery, so they carry sword and shield. Don't hold you breath for the girls to meet the brutes in real contact sports on the pitch any time soon. Rugby, hockey, boxing, American football, anyone? Or for REAL military units, as with our US Marines, Rangers, SEALS, etc., to bow to PC liberal fads any time soon. Females are typically built for a different purpose, which includes the supreme privilege and RESPONSIBILITY of bearing and nursing young. Both genders, of course, have always had a role, each evolutionarily different, in rearing the little ones. And so it goes. Different biology, different life roles. So when (only some few) women insist that their "rights" to control their own bodies somehow TRUMP those of natural womanhood, it's at once the height of many things silly. Fear of pregnancy, the birthing process, laziness with regard to available contraception, hate of children, and so on. None come near to cavalierly rejecting and denying true womanhood. You can participate in the grand illusion that somehow CFM is perfectly OK, and without many risks of it own, But you can't fool the rest of us. And you must stare into that cracked mirror daily.

15 years ago this week I was found by my maternal birth family. The reunion has been great and the friendship is growing every day. There was still a gap though as the identity of my birth Father has been a mystery.....

......Until now !

Through 23&Me I discovered and connected with a second cousin whose maternal Grandfather is my birth Father's Brother. Her Grandfather's DNA is on Ancestry so to nail down the mystery I joined Ancestry today and ordered a DNA kit.

I shall know the truth soon and hopefully be accepted by my yet unknown how many new siblings.

.... but adaptively?... Wiser stateshupersons see many parallels between what are becoming the world's two most powerful, and politically very different countries. Parallels that in past times ended in conflict. Culturally, and historically, let's face it, both the Middle Kingdom, and the USA, aren't exactly shy about leaning in directions of rank Xenophobia. Which, to the bright, educated and open minded, isn't all bad. Genomically considered. So if the day arrives, when due to some of their own one party, self protective, shooting-themselves-in -both feet, thinking and behaviors, THIS time, the whole of China finds itself irretrievably stepping deep into it, via corona virus, what then? Well, viruses never seem to wipe out whole populations, neither in hupersons, nor other species---at least in those with adaptive immune systems/capacities. Less so with clued public health. And for similar reasons, plus our more enlightened and effectively responsive governments/technologies, lets say that possibly typically 30 to 50% of the Han Chinese were to die off, sadly so, but to a large degree self imposed, but leaving all the rest of us to survive, with better recalled immunity, what then? Ain't exactly warm and fuzzy thinking, but should it be cold and brilliant wishing? Many believe, based on how many nations behave in the throes of armed conflict, and if water/other resources are scarce, few would be shy about exterminating whole competing nations/regional populations, with few eyes blinking at all. But don't take my words for it, just pick up any history book. And for all the snowflake who bemoan Trump's wall. So, much or most of the PRC would survive, but in a much weakened state, and likely with different, better, after likely chaotic, politics. What then. Our first impulse might be to say, how hertless, Vierk, perish even the thought! Oh, Really?

Dear friends! Most of you who read and comment on my blogs already know I'm a special boy's mom. But I am also a mom of a very smart, intelligent, creative, beautiful, kind daughter. She is a million times better than me. She is active in various intellectual competitions, writes poems, is interested in history, mythology, space and astronomy, and dreams of working for Nasa. She dreams of designing a large vacuum cleaner that will clean the planet from dirt and change the world. But to build houses in the air that would not occupy space on earth and would not destroy nature. She is worried about the global problems of the world. In particular, pollution, the extinction of rare species of animals and plants on earth, as well as its concern with human cruelty and war. At the age of 10, she outperforms her peers with her outlook on life. So today, as always at the dinner table, we discussed different topics. And she remembered how 2 years ago, participated in the competition on the topic of "the future in 100 years". The best works are in the time capsule. Her picture of the future was one of them. And my daughter and I decided to make such a "time capsule" for her and her brother and school graduates. I usually support any idea of ??children that helps them to develop. So I decided to join and started writing a letter of advice for the future. Of course it is quite voluminous. But I would like to hear your opinion as well. So, what advice would you give to your children graduating from school? From the point of your life, your life experience? Thank you.

I'm a simple man really. I don't need much and these days I expect even less. I find that it minimalizes the potential for disappointment and maximizes square footage!

I don't have much to recycle or toss in the bin after opening Christmas gifts. Sketch pads and pencils ruled the day. I fought an urge to protest a gift but it turns out that I needed it more than I thought.

The thing that made my day though was a simple gift card. Initially, I was thinking that in order to put it to good use, I would have to go shopping...and maybe somewhere I didn't want to. The gift card giver lives on the other coast so I thought that it was purchased at some chain store or restaurant with the assumption that the chain was 3,000 miles long.

To my surprise, the card was for a local establishment, and one that I frequently patronize!


That means the card giver had to do a bit of detective work and that the card had to travel 6,000 miles to get right back to where it started!

The card giver is clever and thoughtful...and my sister. If I could rewind the clock, I think I would ask Santa for just one thing...to be more like her.

I'm not big on following my family traditions mostly because I follow the traditions of where I am at - at the time. Traditions are different and I seem to like most of them.

On New Year's Day I think I will cook Mom's traditional meal which is supposed to bring in money, success, prosperity, good health and I forget if anything else. I have to have her tell me again what all it is but what I remember is cooked greens, black eye peas, pork (I think) 12 green grapes (one for each month) - I forgot what else. My daughter who has only lived in Florida follows my Mom's tradition. I've been so non-traditional that I can hardly remember any of the other traditions from my friends. Then Mom can take some to Dad and they both get to celebrate one more family tradition.

I know one thing I don't have to worry about anymore is hang overs. If I ever did have a tradition it was to not party so hard on New Year's Eve. Now I sleep through it.

As long as nothing bad happens in the next five days - I get to close 2019, my first year of retirement, feeling totally blessed with time to enjoy what I worked for since I was 15. Sadly it was a very hard year on my parents.

As I recall long ago I treated my uncle and grandfather to a fishing trip for walleye in Wisconsin one spring and of course it was a perfect day cloudy and nearly cold so fishing wasn't so great and as I steered the boat to shore I told uncle a polite reminder to wait till I pulled the boat on shore grandfather was off first being on the bow me in the middle and uncle at the end so grand got off then I walked to the bow to jump off and pull the boat on shore more as I grabbed the bow to pull it that's lol when my uncle started to stand up and done a flip in deep cold as he** water of course it caught me off guard like WTH then I hear Gramps laughing and a few shore fisherman then of course I did then as uncle reaches shore soaking wet he says boy is that water cold,that did it we all laughed even more and more for the next five minutes by then poor uncle was getting mad and we all started laughing all over again..lol

I've had a few episodes helping my nephew moving his family to California. I'm pushing the issue to have them out of the rented house by the end of this month so they don't incur more expense. Currently, they are in a hotel (in California) awaiting a deal on an apartment next month.
I found a 5th TV around the corner of the master bedroom loft that no one told us about. The only reason for that was my search for the internet router. Sheesh. The container is filled, so it's got to go in the back seat of the car they will have transported. Any other things we can stuff in the car should happen tomorrow. I'm waiting to hear when the car will be moved. If they can't get the carrier in time, I've got to move it to a guest spot at my condo or (preferred) the back parking warehouse of my office.
Tomorrow, I'm returning the TV and internet equipment then meeting one of the local donation services to take any/all of the things in the garage. Tables, (ugly) art work, lamps, broken bicycle, plastic bins and children's toys.

The one really negative that stands out is the smell of the place.
Nearly every room had a 'Plug-in' scented device. The few times I was there, scented candles were burning in a house with 2 cats, I deemed the place toxic. I mentioned about the Plug-ins being an irritant and not a good idea for 2 young children. That warning didn't faze them at all. Because my sinuses swelled within a few minutes, my visits were always short.

On the pile of 'give away' was a small carpet mat that I though would be good in my home office. Thought... I couldn't stand the smell and moved it to my back porch. The next stop will be the dumpster. I'm planning a yard sale at my house in Miami and put a toaster with a few other things in the back of my car for this weekend. The chemical perfume smell is so strong that I have to open the window and get fresh air into the car!

I'll be happy when this is over...

Last month my nephew (living 10 miles away) accepted a job in California. He scooted out as the position required him to start immediately. Small problem: Wife and 2 young children in Florida. The icing on that cake is my niece is in the finals of graduation. Read: dissertation.

A few weeks ago, my wife volunteered to help pack and for a few days each week she filled boxes, sealed them with tape and stacked them in the garage.
They arranged a storage container (with a roll-up door) from a company called PODS that was 16 feet long that now sits in the driveway. My nephew flew back to Florida one weekend and worked 2 days packing as much as possible before he had to fly back... this time with his wife, 2 young children and 2 cats. Personally, I would have left the cats behind, especially the moody one who will scratch you in a heartbeat simply because he knows he can.

With no developed plans, they left 2 cars (with keys under the tires) a rented house (with key under the doormat) and less than 2 weeks before the lease expires and they have to be out!

In desperation, I was called (by my brother) as the 'clock was ticking' and he realized their plans were about to fail.

Cars
The Avalon was older and in need of repair. I pushed the issue to unload it. A friend dropped me off Friday and I drove it to a parking lot near my warehouse to buy time for a future decision.
They are keeping the Camry and will pay a car carrier to transport it to California.

Furniture
About 80% made it to the container, with the exception of a king size 12" thick memory foam mattress. Well, duh, while that should have been loaded in the front with the bed frame, my niece wouldn't have a bed to sleep in. No win.

Electronics
We boxed up 4 TV's, laserjet printer, DVD player and a few miscellaneous items.

My nephew pleaded for the mattress, so we unloaded a bunch of boxes to make room and schlepped the mattress from the 2nd floor out to the container, pushed it up over the boxes and wedged 2 TV's over that!

What goes, what stays
Infant swing, a gift from his sister a last minute must and some baby cradles.
We took apart all those items and shoved them inside.
Literally, we're out of room and have more boxes and baskets to pack.
I opened a few brief cases already in the container... EMPTY (insert a slight episode of Tourette's) but we've got a plan! I was able to repack some boxes into those empty cases. Pillows and bedding that wasn't going to make the trip got squeezed in between every gap we could find.

By then, it was dark, windy raining and the PODS truck was a few hours late for the pickup. I guess he knew we were in 'Coolie mode' all afternoon, so it worked out best.

With relief we did our best, I padlocked the container, closed the garage and we headed back to the condo for dinner.

Next week, my nephew has to arrange for some charitable agency to pick up the rest of the furniture as donation that will require my presence and I'll do a walk-thru with the landlord to get the approval that everything is clean, because they are going to California!

Across the lonely beach we flit,
One little sandpiper and I,
And fast I gather, bit by bit,
The scattered driftwood, bleached and dry
The wild waves reach their hands for it,
The wild wind raves, the tide runs high,
As up and down the beach we flit,
One little sandpiper and I.

Above our heads the sullen clouds
Scud, black and swift, across the sky;
Like silent ghosts in misty shrouds
Stand out the white lighthouses high.
Almost as far as eye can reach
I see the close-reefed vessels fly,
As fast we flit along the beach,
One little sandpiper and I.

I watch him as he skims along,
Uttering his sweet and mournful cry;
He starts not at my fitful song,
Nor flash of fluttering drapery.
He has no thought of any wrong,
He scans me with a fearless eye;
Stanch friends are we, well tried and strong,
The little sandpiper and I.

Comrade, where wilt thou be to-night,
When the loosed storm breaks furiously?
My driftwood fire will burn so bright!
To what warm shelter canst thou fly?
I do not fear for thee, though wroth
The tempest rushes through the sky;
For are we not God's children both,
Thou, little sandpiper, and I?

Celia Thaxter.