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Sheepdog Speech

This has nothing to do with Nam...but only a realization after tonight. Though it is very sad to hear about Nam, one can only hope he does recover....may happiness ensue him.


Tonight....some of my friends.

To know them during the day they seem on the surface like just another man. Doing his deeds, those of which are required of him to survive. Talking with them, everything is just fine, there is nothing wrong they'd say. My life is going smoothly, "can't complain."

Why? I now wonder to myself. Why can't they complain? Perhaps, because they are man. They are suppose to be a man...strong and to be anything less would be a disgrace within the norms of society. But they are also human and not without emotion, human feelings.

By night, these same men are still men in the public arena. They laugh, they joke, they socialize as they should. But when alone, they hurt. They have so much pain that it is unbearable to speak of most times. A strong, jovial man. A biker at one time, a muscle car fanatic to the day...long hair, long beard...he sits and tells me about his time in war. With tears falling from his face, his next two bottles of beer turn him back into a man.

A close friend of mine, one could argue he leads an angry life. His story is different. After becoming very close to him nearly 15 years later, I would also argue he seems a bit bitter. Out of the public spectrum, he breaks down to me. After discovering his brother dead from suicide and shortly afterwards his true love lifeless from an overdose...he goes on to tell me, she wrote on the bathroom mirror in her lipstick earlier that day, "love you, will see you later." However, the bottle brings his manhood back up to status quo.

There are a couple more stories...

Have we mistaken just how strong man's spirit is?

So What (You Don't Need Them

A friend like you

Always Laugh When You Can It Is Cheap Medicine

Is there a single thing that you won't quit to be with someone? Something you're more passionate about than passion itself? just curious.

She was excited about her trip to Paris. The plan was not planned so she sat several nights on her sofa daydreaming about it. She had never been to Paris. She only knew of travel shows and decor items glorifying the Eiffel Tower. There must be something to that grand tower, where lovers meet to kiss, fiance's are born, and lonely figures pray.

She thought about clothing for her trip. It is France, things must be sexy. Her first task of the day was the lingerie department of her favorite store. She gravitated toward the rack of satin cups and lace panties. "Should they match or be avant-garde? It is Paris" she thought to herself. After being practical and selecting 2 sets that could match or mismatch, she walked to the hosiery section. She walked with a little more confidence now, pretty things in hand.

She now stood before the racks of stockings. Garter belts are so passe, this is Paris! She stroked the packets of nylons, neatly packaged, settling on black thigh-highs. 'Black goes with everything', she thought. She felt giddy. Her bag was already half packed! She felt a tremor travel throughout her body. Could she endure the hours until touchdown on French soil?

The next day, wearing a mismatched pair, she opened the door. "Bonjour" she said.

Are blogs the easiest way to tell who is real? What they really think? Their attitudes and what they really say about what they want in life?

Sad but it is true. Why did it happen when water is so scarce.
The used laundry buckets are recycled during the day and that is the best I can do.
My wonderful buckets are filled with life (water), I wash my shoes and water my plants.
Cleaning my floors with drips from shower is a blessing.
Please never waste what is and has been given freely.

After many years of studying, then working, then studying, then working, then studying & working at the same time, followed by a lack of work but more studying, then some more working, more studying & working, and then more working…:D, I decided to retire from it all.

I ‘adopted’ a puppy, and had plans of lazing around the house, and doing whatever I felt like doing/not doing, such as tutoring students privately, teaching English online, visiting people and places at home and travelling to countries that I’ve always wanted to see.

I didn’t plan on having all that being ‘interrupted’ by COVID, but that is indeed what happened. Its initial devastation had put such a ‘cloud of depression’ over everything that I’d experienced of, and expected from life, that I thought my retirement plans would never be realized.

But, thanks to God, the ‘cloud’ is lifting, and hopefully my retirement plans may still be realized. Wouldn’t it be a shame, that after spending so much of my earlier life on the ‘hamster wheel’ chasing after personal “achievements”, I spend even less time enjoying the fruits of my efforts?

I think that if even I laze a lot, and get some travelling done (maybe next year), I’d be enjoying some of what a “retirement” ought to be…:)