spirit of men
This has nothing to do with Nam...but only a realization after tonight. Though it is very sad to hear about Nam, one can only hope he does recover....may happiness ensue him.
Tonight....some of my friends.
To know them during the day they seem on the surface like just another man. Doing his deeds, those of which are required of him to survive. Talking with them, everything is just fine, there is nothing wrong they'd say. My life is going smoothly, "can't complain."
Why? I now wonder to myself. Why can't they complain? Perhaps, because they are man. They are suppose to be a man...strong and to be anything less would be a disgrace within the norms of society. But they are also human and not without emotion, human feelings.
By night, these same men are still men in the public arena. They laugh, they joke, they socialize as they should. But when alone, they hurt. They have so much pain that it is unbearable to speak of most times. A strong, jovial man. A biker at one time, a muscle car fanatic to the day...long hair, long beard...he sits and tells me about his time in war. With tears falling from his face, his next two bottles of beer turn him back into a man.
A close friend of mine, one could argue he leads an angry life. His story is different. After becoming very close to him nearly 15 years later, I would also argue he seems a bit bitter. Out of the public spectrum, he breaks down to me. After discovering his brother dead from suicide and shortly afterwards his true love lifeless from an overdose...he goes on to tell me, she wrote on the bathroom mirror in her lipstick earlier that day, "love you, will see you later." However, the bottle brings his manhood back up to status quo.
There are a couple more stories...
Have we mistaken just how strong man's spirit is?
Comments (30)
Love is powerful and I think should be not taken lightly.
But the greatest fulfillment.
I guess it's because they were always been told to 'Chin up and be a man' ever since they were boys?
I try not to do that with my 18 year-old son but he could get very whiny at times and I wanna strangle him!
Women these days like the modern man to show his feeling and cry now and then.. Not that women will stay with such a guy, but they do understand that a guy has feelings. Why, just the other day. One of my friends had three fillings replaced in his teeth.
One other thing, Johnny, how come, as soon as I comment, the OP and everyone else seems to leave, to abandon the blog? Do I have Cooties or something?
My men friends, here in Spain, do show their emotions when in public with a group of like-minded people and open up.
Some men unleash their hurt through anger, therefore they become verbally abusive instead of complaining about how they feel and having a good bawl to let off some steam.
I guess you're right, most put the best outside while they are crippling on the inside.
I've seen my ex- cried many times, he's a tough man but when he's emotional, he's such a cry baby. I always remind my son that it's OK to be sensitive and cry too, it doesn't make him less a man.
Most men like to be tough and strong and in control but I believe they have weaknesses too. With the right woman, a man can show his weaknesses, she can take over when he needs her to. A woman's softness can be her man's strength and a man's weakness can be his woman's strength...
I'm an emotional wrecked right now , I hope I'm making sense here
I think in the past, men were brought up not to show their emotions in public. That is changing now, and younger boys and men have been brought up to talk more, and that the showing of emotion is ok.
With adult men, I always find on a one-to-one basis, once they trust you, they will let down their guards. But they have to know you won't take advantage of that trust and use it against them. Trust is key.
I know myself over the years here have been picked up----and put down
Good blog Jonny you have us all chatting
Very sincere blog. Thank you. Yes it is so true, from the outside looking in , one can never tell what goes through the next persons mind or life. The saddest part of all is , only once something bad happens to someone, do we realize that they had far more to deal with in life, but covered that up with inspirational quotation of banters . I'm speaking for myself by saying , we are inclined to think, life is good for someone who is always on the positive by posting long and cryptic lines, but we never give a second thought, that in between the lines could be someone hurting inside. I pray that Nam will recover and may this bad news come to pass, and become filled with happiness and peace for him and his family. Thanks once again for being his friend.
I hope and pray that Nam will recover and be back here.
Johnny, I totally agree with you. It's harder to be a man although we always complain how hard it is to be a woman.
The whole problem is that society is full of conformities. And we condition our children accordingly, forgetting that each individual is unique as their DNA.
We have to understand that we can't ask a fish to toughen up and climb a tree instead of swimming in a river. The mental and physical strength of each man is different.
I am tired now. I want to sleep. May be when I wake up I will defend men who cry more. Just logged to say my thoughts and prayers are with Nam.
I think I have been seeing the same thing with reversals. I don't think any less of a man if he is crying. Like you mention, it is a cleansing....perhaps a start though, to something that needs more attention.
Thanks Pro.
I am no expert here...but I would say emotions stem from thoughts. But, I am a man and don't have any frequent hormonal changes which I know can trigger emotions. In any case, I hope you begin to feel better soon.
I think you are right though with trust.
I am happy to hear it reported that Nam has come out of his comma. What a great relief. He has a lot of friends here and surely would be missed.
Nam has many caring friends here. That is nice to see how close we all are here.
....get well soon Nam.
Positive thoughts going out for Nam...
Men are mortals...flawed...we all are...
....so true about us all being mortal.
Thank you.
That is also true, but not all situations are brought on by the individual.
Some people do take different perspective at issues....solving them or accepting them are two of my favorite ways. In order to succeed at that, sometimes one has to talk to others or do some research.