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I’ve been thinking about something that was said to me. It has temporarily given me the idea to consider being a couple. No, there isn’t anyone known that I might consider being in a relationship with. It’s simply a break in my “no relationship “ mantra.

My recent back story is the dumping of a financial and emotional parasite. You know the type. The ones who will say and do anything to remain in an arrangement that provides food and shelter...

I’ve had poems proclaiming love, a proposal of marriage etc. still, I dumped his a**. Since then, this individual has written poems and proposed marriage to 3 other women in 3 month’s time. This has confirmed the fact that his words are all bull shit.

The above news doesn’t shock or sadden me. I got out alive lol.

Back to what was said to me...a simple sentence that, even with my latest blunder, makes me consider.

Like the pain of childbirth and kidney stones, I am beginning to forget the reasons why I want to remain single. It’s as if I have a case of amnesia.

I think amnesia is my method of coping. Unfortunately, I don’t trust myself enough to try again.

I’m on a slippery slope. That’s it from me today.

I work in a retail environment, a department store. I know the atmosphere has changed over time, just as consumer travel has changed.

There was a time when people dressed up to travel and shop. Both activities seemed more prestigious. If you watch any old show or film, the characters were usually dressed impeccably. Men wore hats, women wore hats and gloves. Accessories weren't tacky or dated. There seemed to be an order to things. As if work and home life were stable enough to present ourselves as "together" in more ways than one.

I am sitting in a department store that is empty but for the employees and a few customers. There has been a pallor on the face of retail. The coordinated lips and nails are gone. Fancy brooches and rhinestone clip on earrings have been shed. The atmosphere is dull except for the occasional frivolous shopper. Luxury for the mainstream has been substituted with fancy phones and active wear.

Two things have made me contemplate this. One, the possibility of my store closing due to bankruptcy, the second, two films I recently watched again. I usually watch a film I like numerous times, so, I have given thought to the aura of the films, not only the main plot. Tonight, I focus on the characters of both films, "The Danish Girl" and "Carol".

If you haven't seen these films, "The Danish Girl" is about the first man to attempt sex reassignment. "Carol" is the story of a woman acknowledging her sexuality. What on earth could these characters have to do with retail? Only I would make a connection. lol In "The Danish Girl", after living as a female, she takes a job in a department store and she glows with excitement. Her smile is electric. Her supervisor is very respectful and her statement "we are all performers" as if in a great play, to provide the ultimate shopping experience. In "Carol" the female character is shown in the same retail environment, but the experience if far from magical. Her supervisor is a cold, negative character and the position of store clerk is a hair above garbage left blowing across a New York City sidewalk. Is the vast difference because one character wants to fit in and be accepted, accepting the stereotype that goes with it, while the other feels she doesn't fit in, she has other aspirations?

Do we feel like garbage in our jobs because we aren't fulfilled elsewhere? Are we longing to play a role, to have at work what we don't have at home? In the end, I think we all take on roles in order to survive.
"we are all performers".

Two of a kind, you and I
Though my age betrays a maturity
Your guidance directs me to my soul
To be lost for so long, a kind gentleman showed me the way

I was out walking. I pushed myself, heaving
The sun pulled all moisture from me
The clarity was like cheap vodka in a plastic bottle

That walk produced bug bites, infected
By a hair removal cream, chemical
Dark spots, as if I had a case of the pox
I remember how he paid no notice

Two of a kind if there could be
The gears always moving, puzzle pieces turning, or Skelton keys jangling
To find a matching groove consoles me

If and since I do not wish to be a romantic unit
And if blessings aren’t reserved to God
I hold you as a blessing, in the most primal sense

i watch YT 24/7 for streaming. i don't have cable or TV. i search genres and use the rating system to select a film. in the past, there were likes and dislikes to help determine if it was worth a watch. lately, there's onlyu likes, zero dislikes. even when the comments read the film is crap.
can anyone explain this? it's every vid i've clicked: news, crafts, tiny house, films, everything.

Ah, yes
That’s what I think when I have been enlightened
Now a curiosity stirs like a swizzle stick stirs
Am I a coffee with cream and sugar?

it's part of a master plan to keep my mail box empty. it's part of speaking when in RL nobody listens, very frustrating.
i'm mean because i'm tired of being nice. i got taken to the cleaners being nice

hey crowd,
i've decided to drive on a ferry and be in England (dover) tomorrow 19th. till tuesday.

and probably visit london. and stay there in between channel and the big city.

anybody wants to host and share a floor with me? (and my 5y old)
it seems uk is not big on couchsurfing.
We don't snorr.

but being trapped in a hotel is also not the nicest.
and my tent is not in a worse state than i expected.

greetings

I'm seeing a lot of talk about them.


I'm about 3,000 miles in.


I'm curious who else here has actual seat time?

I met a Viking traveler whose
Great dragon parted the mist with its glowing eyes and curling tongue
Lapping up the brined shimmering sea’s froth

I met a Viking traveler whose
Great waves of hair extended up to the moon
Fighting with floating cloud’s dominance

After all, it seems that some can be rude and still comment on the other person’s blogs As if, it’s all water under the bridge. Meanwhile, in reality, I don’t give a f*ck if that person loves or hates me.

The self-importance some think they have is of little importance at all.