Newest Comedy Blogs (1,864)

I lost my phone just yesterday, I'm traumatised and lost,
I can't speak in conversation, I just don't know what to do,
I don't know whatsapp with my friends, my parents want
to talk to me, again, that's twice this month, I can't tweet,
I can't face talk, (even though they are here beside me)
They are there and I can't even look,,,, I need Facebook,
They even asked me to add two and two, as if I didn't
know, oh,, I need my phone,, where is my goddamm
phone, sorry, it's not like I REALLY need my phone to
be normal, .......... I just want the ten million pictures
I took, I'm sure there is one of me pouting that looks
really good, this is all going to end in disaster if I
DON'T GET MY PHONE!

Jan. 6 Committee Says Cassidy Hutchinson Told Them That She Heard Mark Meadows Say That A Secret Service Agent’s Friend’s Cousin’s Husband Once Heard That One Of Trump’s Other Aides Said She Thinks She Heard Him Say He Wanted To 'Do An Insurrection'

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The walls are closing in on former President Trump. In an explosive bombshell unprecedented star witness testimony yesterday, Cassidy Hutchinson told everyone that she heard Mark Meadows say that a Secret Service agent's friend's cousin's husband once heard that one of Trump's other aides said she thinks she heard him say he wanted to "do an insurrection."

"Yes, that's totally what I heard someone say Trump said to someone who told it to them," said Cassidy Hutchinson. "He literally said 'Let's do an insurrection.' And then he threw a plate at the bust of Martin Luther King." Hutchinson then started sobbing uncontrollably.

The committee confirmed that the Secret Service agent's friend's cousin's husband who heard the aide say what she thought she heard is "an upstanding witness of the most unassailable character."

"This is looking really bad," said conservative folk hero Adam Kinzinger. "This might finally be the beginning of the end for Trump, who we are discovering was the evilest president to ever be elected." Kinzinger then started sobbing uncontrollably.

The hearings are expected to heat up even more next week when the committee brings in Johnny Depp to testify - according to sources close to Johnny Depp's agent's cleaning lady's great aunt.

What is the most memorable moments of your life? Finding Santa did not exist?
Seeing Man walk on the Moon (or not), finding out that the girl next door was in
Her tree with Her binoculars watching You?

Did you know a picture is worth a thousand words? If I had know that then, I'd have taken a
picture of my ex!

My partner told me to grow a pear, well, I did but she still was not happy, Why?

Grifter is a slang word that describes a person who operates a side show at a circus, especially a gambling attraction. Also, grifters are known to be swindlers as in dishonest gambler, or the like.
(stated in dictionary.com)

I caught a video interview last night with Michael Cohen calling Trump the greatest grifter in the history of the United States. Some people on CS would not believe that title. Whatever suits your perspective. For years I said he was a 'world class' con artist, but grifter is classier title.



Take it from someone who knows him so well:



Many thinks to Bassador for the link from the Washington Post



Credit to artist Matt Davies


Blog Category is Comedy because it's too funny not to laugh, especially if you caught the asterisk.

I think a lot faster thant I type and I find I'm sending to omuch time fizing typos. If I didn't correct my typos I'm sure people wouldn;t be able to comprehend what I was saying.
So this id my odfficial yopo blog with out corrections.
I remember my brother had a n old twpewriter. somethig my father picked up used. and h would trype reports for school. I know I payed iwth it z fee times asd it was a monster with vlack and red ribbon. very cool!
my first conpurer was purchased in 1975, it was a Commodoere PET. We (me anf my firends) subscrived to a monthly 'magazine' they was compiuter programs on cassette. It was much better than typing the priograms by hand. Often, I'll tell people I'm eht Forrest Gump wan it comet to typing. Well, I don't have the accent but my speed is really c l o w.

So, there you have it the al-matural verson blog without any corrections at all!

Calling long distance , hi, your me, please don’t ride that bike today,
Don’t ever eat McDonalds, don’t tell dad you found his porno, don’t fall
In line too easily, don’t be what you don’t want to be, admit when your
Wrong, be strong, don’t climb on a roof, don’t hit a bullet with a hammer,
Don’t do magic swallowing a coin, don’t set fire to mothers curtains, if you
See a girl who looks nice, run!, and definitely don’t marry her, and if you are
Ever offered a green or a red pill,,,,,,,shoot the f**ker!

Please, don't shoot!, So, I forgot your birthday!......Calm down, tomorrow is a new,,, ok,, don't bother,,,,
So, what would you write on your tombstone?