Old love memories (47)
Track16: I have nothing from any ex's but I do have every picture of every cat and dog I had in the last 15 years stored on the laptop and external memory just in case
Pets always have a special place in our hearts. We love them unconditionally.
daniela777: Memories...bad or good...carry the same energy and are attachments. We carry them in Our minds to some extent and in our heart but we don't need any physical reminders.
I've recently started to think like this, too...
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Maya74: Do you keep photos, letters (or e-mails), cards, poems, small gifts from previous relationships? Or do you throw everything away once the relationship is over?
I used to keep everything. Then, a year ago, I decided to take a look at all those memories and the whole idea started to seem absurd. For example, I caught myself reading a love poem written by a boyfriend I was in a relationship with 20 years ago, I haven't seen for more than 10 years and who is now happily married with two children! So, I decided to throw away (and delete) everything from previous relationships, except photos (because they were my photos, too, as well as the photos of some friends, places we visited, etc.) and some gifts that I thought shouldn't be thrown away just because the one who gifted them was an ex-boyfriend (like books, etc.).
What do you do with your old memories? Those of you who threw them away - did you ever regret it? And those of you who keep them - do you ever worry that your future partner might see them and wouldn't like it?
that's a good subject Maya , you refreshed my memories , I still have the gift sent by late fianceI used to keep everything. Then, a year ago, I decided to take a look at all those memories and the whole idea started to seem absurd. For example, I caught myself reading a love poem written by a boyfriend I was in a relationship with 20 years ago, I haven't seen for more than 10 years and who is now happily married with two children! So, I decided to throw away (and delete) everything from previous relationships, except photos (because they were my photos, too, as well as the photos of some friends, places we visited, etc.) and some gifts that I thought shouldn't be thrown away just because the one who gifted them was an ex-boyfriend (like books, etc.).
What do you do with your old memories? Those of you who threw them away - did you ever regret it? And those of you who keep them - do you ever worry that your future partner might see them and wouldn't like it?
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Maya74: Pets always have a special place in our hearts. We love them unconditionally.
I've recently started to think like this, too...
I've recently started to think like this, too...
I do keep photos family photos and pets of course.
But old relationships when it's over I get rid of all the reminders in order to move on.
My motto is forgive and forget..then cut all energetic cords.
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Mickmjb: Years ago I met a girl in London, she was just visiting for the day, we chatted for an hour, exchanged addresses,
( she lived miles away) we exchanged a few letters but never got around to meeting. But we've exchanged Christmas cards for 40 years!
( she lived miles away) we exchanged a few letters but never got around to meeting. But we've exchanged Christmas cards for 40 years!
I have no memories of love whatsoever.
It was all about how he could use me
For whatever purpose.
Since Jan 2006
I have just had friendship.
If ur sharp
U learn from ur mistakes hopefully.
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The last time I was in a relationship was a long time ago but when it ended, I didn't keep anything. I got rid of it. Do I regret it? No. Sometimes you may meet a few people before you find the right one and to hold on to those items will just make you think back. I am about moving forward.
Sometimes when you end up thinking back, then your mind may wander and you may start thinking "What if?", "Why did I?" or "What was I thinking?" and you definitely don't need to go back there. Dwelling on the past can make you vulnerable when moving forward, sometimes allowing you to fall back usually created by concerns you may have about it. It's better to question where you want to be than question where you were.
Sometimes when you end up thinking back, then your mind may wander and you may start thinking "What if?", "Why did I?" or "What was I thinking?" and you definitely don't need to go back there. Dwelling on the past can make you vulnerable when moving forward, sometimes allowing you to fall back usually created by concerns you may have about it. It's better to question where you want to be than question where you were.
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Living too much in the past or future is dangers as it takes away joy of present time. We don't need pictures to remind us of our past memories, we all have it stored in our sole brain memories and occasionally uninvited they come and go, maybe to remind us to treasure what ever we have now or to make a peace with what's gone.
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Quixotic2k17: The last time I was in a relationship was a long time ago but when it ended, I didn't keep anything. I got rid of it. Do I regret it? No. Sometimes you may meet a few people before you find the right one and to hold on to those items will just make you think back. I am about moving forward.
Sometimes when you end up thinking back, then your mind may wander and you may start thinking "What if?", "Why did I?" or "What was I thinking?" and you definitely don't need to go back there. Dwelling on the past can make you vulnerable when moving forward, sometimes allowing you to fall back usually created by concerns you may have about it. It's better to question where you want to be than question where you were.
Sometimes when you end up thinking back, then your mind may wander and you may start thinking "What if?", "Why did I?" or "What was I thinking?" and you definitely don't need to go back there. Dwelling on the past can make you vulnerable when moving forward, sometimes allowing you to fall back usually created by concerns you may have about it. It's better to question where you want to be than question where you were.
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Maya74: Do you keep photos, letters (or e-mails), cards, poems, small gifts from previous relationships? Or do you throw everything away once the relationship is over?
I used to keep everything. Then, a year ago, I decided to take a look at all those memories and the whole idea started to seem absurd. For example, I caught myself reading a love poem written by a boyfriend I was in a relationship with 20 years ago, I haven't seen for more than 10 years and who is now happily married with two children! So, I decided to throw away (and delete) everything from previous relationships, except photos (because they were my photos, too, as well as the photos of some friends, places we visited, etc.) and some gifts that I thought shouldn't be thrown away just because the one who gifted them was an ex-boyfriend (like books, etc.).
What do you do with your old memories? Those of you who threw them away - did you ever regret it? And those of you who keep them - do you ever worry that your future partner might see them and wouldn't like it?
I used to keep everything. Then, a year ago, I decided to take a look at all those memories and the whole idea started to seem absurd. For example, I caught myself reading a love poem written by a boyfriend I was in a relationship with 20 years ago, I haven't seen for more than 10 years and who is now happily married with two children! So, I decided to throw away (and delete) everything from previous relationships, except photos (because they were my photos, too, as well as the photos of some friends, places we visited, etc.) and some gifts that I thought shouldn't be thrown away just because the one who gifted them was an ex-boyfriend (like books, etc.).
What do you do with your old memories? Those of you who threw them away - did you ever regret it? And those of you who keep them - do you ever worry that your future partner might see them and wouldn't like it?
nop, nothing. and i do avoid contacts.
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Quixotic2k17: The last time I was in a relationship was a long time ago but when it ended, I didn't keep anything. I got rid of it. Do I regret it? No. Sometimes you may meet a few people before you find the right one and to hold on to those items will just make you think back. I am about moving forward.
Sometimes when you end up thinking back, then your mind may wander and you may start thinking "What if?", "Why did I?" or "What was I thinking?" and you definitely don't need to go back there. Dwelling on the past can make you vulnerable when moving forward, sometimes allowing you to fall back usually created by concerns you may have about it. It's better to question where you want to be than question where you were.
Sometimes when you end up thinking back, then your mind may wander and you may start thinking "What if?", "Why did I?" or "What was I thinking?" and you definitely don't need to go back there. Dwelling on the past can make you vulnerable when moving forward, sometimes allowing you to fall back usually created by concerns you may have about it. It's better to question where you want to be than question where you were.
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rainbowdream2017: Living too much in the past or future is dangers as it takes away joy of present time. We don't need pictures to remind us of our past memories, we all have it stored in our sole brain memories and occasionally uninvited they come and go, maybe to remind us to treasure what ever we have now or to make a peace with what's gone.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Maya74: Do you keep photos, letters (or e-mails), cards, poems, small gifts from previous relationships? Or do you throw everything away once the relationship is over?
I used to keep everything. Then, a year ago, I decided to take a look at all those memories and the whole idea started to seem absurd. For example, I caught myself reading a love poem written by a boyfriend I was in a relationship with 20 years ago, I haven't seen for more than 10 years and who is now happily married with two children! So, I decided to throw away (and delete) everything from previous relationships, except photos (because they were my photos, too, as well as the photos of some friends, places we visited, etc.) and some gifts that I thought shouldn't be thrown away just because the one who gifted them was an ex-boyfriend (like books, etc.).
What do you do with your old memories? Those of you who threw them away - did you ever regret it? And those of you who keep them - do you ever worry that your future partner might see them and wouldn't like it?
I used to keep everything. Then, a year ago, I decided to take a look at all those memories and the whole idea started to seem absurd. For example, I caught myself reading a love poem written by a boyfriend I was in a relationship with 20 years ago, I haven't seen for more than 10 years and who is now happily married with two children! So, I decided to throw away (and delete) everything from previous relationships, except photos (because they were my photos, too, as well as the photos of some friends, places we visited, etc.) and some gifts that I thought shouldn't be thrown away just because the one who gifted them was an ex-boyfriend (like books, etc.).
What do you do with your old memories? Those of you who threw them away - did you ever regret it? And those of you who keep them - do you ever worry that your future partner might see them and wouldn't like it?
I've kept nothing from the past in terms of relationships, the best memories are in my head
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daniela777: I do keep photos family photos and pets of course.
But old relationships when it's over I get rid of all the reminders in order to move on.
My motto is forgive and forget..then cut all energetic cords.
But old relationships when it's over I get rid of all the reminders in order to move on.
My motto is forgive and forget..then cut all energetic cords.
Quixotic2k17: The last time I was in a relationship was a long time ago but when it ended, I didn't keep anything. I got rid of it. Do I regret it? No. Sometimes you may meet a few people before you find the right one and to hold on to those items will just make you think back. I am about moving forward.
Sometimes when you end up thinking back, then your mind may wander and you may start thinking "What if?", "Why did I?" or "What was I thinking?" and you definitely don't need to go back there. Dwelling on the past can make you vulnerable when moving forward, sometimes allowing you to fall back usually created by concerns you may have about it. It's better to question where you want to be than question where you were.
Sometimes when you end up thinking back, then your mind may wander and you may start thinking "What if?", "Why did I?" or "What was I thinking?" and you definitely don't need to go back there. Dwelling on the past can make you vulnerable when moving forward, sometimes allowing you to fall back usually created by concerns you may have about it. It's better to question where you want to be than question where you were.
rainbowdream2017: Living too much in the past or future is dangers as it takes away joy of present time. We don't need pictures to remind us of our past memories, we all have it stored in our sole brain memories and occasionally uninvited they come and go, maybe to remind us to treasure what ever we have now or to make a peace with what's gone.
I was once talking to an ex-boyfriend of mine about this topic. He was a Japanese and even before dating him I noticed that Japanese men don't like to talk (and especially listen) about previous relationships much. Japanese take care a lot about feelings of others and that ex-boyfriend of mine told me that in general they think that talking about past is rather inconsiderate toward your present partner. Present is what matters and you should focus all your attention and care toward the person you are with NOW, not what happened before. Past is better not to be mentioned, because it can hurt new partner's feelings. This includes kept memories, etc. as well. I was raised to believe that forgetting someone you loved once is - in some way - disrespectful both to yourself and that person and their way of thinking was a little strange for me at first. Now I think he was right. We can never forget our past, it shaped us and made us who we are today, but our present/future should always be a priority.
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Maya74: Do you keep photos, letters (or e-mails), cards, poems, small gifts from previous relationships? Or do you throw everything away once the relationship is over?
I used to keep everything. Then, a year ago, I decided to take a look at all those memories and the whole idea started to seem absurd. For example, I caught myself reading a love poem written by a boyfriend I was in a relationship with 20 years ago, I haven't seen for more than 10 years and who is now happily married with two children! So, I decided to throw away (and delete) everything from previous relationships, except photos (because they were my photos, too, as well as the photos of some friends, places we visited, etc.) and some gifts that I thought shouldn't be thrown away just because the one who gifted them was an ex-boyfriend (like books, etc.).
What do you do with your old memories? Those of you who threw them away - did you ever regret it? And those of you who keep them - do you ever worry that your future partner might see them and wouldn't like it?
I used to keep everything. Then, a year ago, I decided to take a look at all those memories and the whole idea started to seem absurd. For example, I caught myself reading a love poem written by a boyfriend I was in a relationship with 20 years ago, I haven't seen for more than 10 years and who is now happily married with two children! So, I decided to throw away (and delete) everything from previous relationships, except photos (because they were my photos, too, as well as the photos of some friends, places we visited, etc.) and some gifts that I thought shouldn't be thrown away just because the one who gifted them was an ex-boyfriend (like books, etc.).
What do you do with your old memories? Those of you who threw them away - did you ever regret it? And those of you who keep them - do you ever worry that your future partner might see them and wouldn't like it?
.
Yes, I have had many sweet letters over the years, l get pleasure to write them too, they are priceless from my point of view, putting your words on paper to someone special is worth more than any present. Below is one of the more 'expressive':
With your stance, talk and letters, you make me dream of things l always wanted in my life: a passionate, loving, caring man who would crush me in his embrace and make gentle love to me. He, who would be there to hold my head on his chest and roll me to sleep each time I’d feel unsure of something and down round the corners of my mouth. He, who would take possession of me any time he had that urge to show me he is there to make me feel safe, protected, wanted and his! He, who would always know how to assuage my physical need and desire of love, comfort belonging.
He, who allows me to be connected to him by means of “11th hand” and stays still, letting me listen to his breathing, the silence, the warmth of his skin, revelling in the glory of having “given” himself unconditionally, completely, without reserves.
I love these moments when one gives oneself away to the partner, as these moments are glorious times of sheer abandonment, delight, trust and peace. It is also quite humbling, but exactly in this humbleness one finds confidence, self assurance, gratitude and equilibrium, and for some reason, you are now all ready for me all these things; and for some other to be unknown reason, you should experience all these things with me. I feel privileged, happy, warm inside my heart, responsible and never wanting you to leave my side.................
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Maya74: Do you keep photos, letters (or e-mails), cards, poems, small gifts from previous relationships? Or do you throw everything away once the relationship is over?
I used to keep everything. Then, a year ago, I decided to take a look at all those memories and the whole idea started to seem absurd. For example, I caught myself reading a love poem written by a boyfriend I was in a relationship with 20 years ago, I haven't seen for more than 10 years and who is now happily married with two children! So, I decided to throw away (and delete) everything from previous relationships, except photos (because they were my photos, too, as well as the photos of some friends, places we visited, etc.) and some gifts that I thought shouldn't be thrown away just because the one who gifted them was an ex-boyfriend (like books, etc.).
What do you do with your old memories? Those of you who threw them away - did you ever regret it? And those of you who keep them - do you ever worry that your future partner might see them and wouldn't like it?
I used to keep everything. Then, a year ago, I decided to take a look at all those memories and the whole idea started to seem absurd. For example, I caught myself reading a love poem written by a boyfriend I was in a relationship with 20 years ago, I haven't seen for more than 10 years and who is now happily married with two children! So, I decided to throw away (and delete) everything from previous relationships, except photos (because they were my photos, too, as well as the photos of some friends, places we visited, etc.) and some gifts that I thought shouldn't be thrown away just because the one who gifted them was an ex-boyfriend (like books, etc.).
What do you do with your old memories? Those of you who threw them away - did you ever regret it? And those of you who keep them - do you ever worry that your future partner might see them and wouldn't like it?
Out with the old, to make room for something new, I say....
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Maya74: Do you keep photos, letters (or e-mails), cards, poems, small gifts from previous relationships? Or do you throw everything away once the relationship is over?
I used to keep everything. Then, a year ago, I decided to take a look at all those memories and the whole idea started to seem absurd. For example, I caught myself reading a love poem written by a boyfriend I was in a relationship with 20 years ago, I haven't seen for more than 10 years and who is now happily married with two children! So, I decided to throw away (and delete) everything from previous relationships, except photos (because they were my photos, too, as well as the photos of some friends, places we visited, etc.) and some gifts that I thought shouldn't be thrown away just because the one who gifted them was an ex-boyfriend (like books, etc.).
What do you do with your old memories? Those of you who threw them away - did you ever regret it? And those of you who keep them - do you ever worry that your future partner might see them and wouldn't like it?
I used to keep everything. Then, a year ago, I decided to take a look at all those memories and the whole idea started to seem absurd. For example, I caught myself reading a love poem written by a boyfriend I was in a relationship with 20 years ago, I haven't seen for more than 10 years and who is now happily married with two children! So, I decided to throw away (and delete) everything from previous relationships, except photos (because they were my photos, too, as well as the photos of some friends, places we visited, etc.) and some gifts that I thought shouldn't be thrown away just because the one who gifted them was an ex-boyfriend (like books, etc.).
What do you do with your old memories? Those of you who threw them away - did you ever regret it? And those of you who keep them - do you ever worry that your future partner might see them and wouldn't like it?
At some point in time there will be a time when you are alone with no love to receive ever again. Sometimes a few memories will sot have the same impact as a memento; a letter or an old photo that you can look at and actually remember a time , a special someone actually did love you...that memory can can bestow on you a little more time to borrow; to perhaps meeting them again...
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Kattte: At some point in time there will be a time when you are alone with no love to receive ever again. Sometimes a few memories will sot have the same impact as a memento; a letter or an old photo that you can look at and actually remember a time , a special someone actually did love you...that memory can can bestow on you a little more time to borrow; to perhaps meeting them again...
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Quixotic2k17: The last time I was in a relationship was a long time ago but when it ended, I didn't keep anything. I got rid of it. Do I regret it? No. Sometimes you may meet a few people before you find the right one and to hold on to those items will just make you think back. I am about moving forward.
Sometimes when you end up thinking back, then your mind may wander and you may start thinking "What if?", "Why did I?" or "What was I thinking?" and you definitely don't need to go back there. Dwelling on the past can make you vulnerable when moving forward, sometimes allowing you to fall back usually created by concerns you may have about it. It's better to question where you want to be than question where you were.
Sometimes when you end up thinking back, then your mind may wander and you may start thinking "What if?", "Why did I?" or "What was I thinking?" and you definitely don't need to go back there. Dwelling on the past can make you vulnerable when moving forward, sometimes allowing you to fall back usually created by concerns you may have about it. It's better to question where you want to be than question where you were.
Your whole answer sounds sad, to me, Q. If you're not willing to allow yourself to be vulnerable, then you'll NEVER TRULY "love" again. You may have relationships, friends, acquaintances, even "lovers". But you'll NEVER have the "intimacy" of love. At least, NOT the love I think/dream of, when I hear/think that word. If you send your life behind your "fortress/shelter/protection", how is love ever going to find you?
I don't know about you, but I'll suffer the pain (I'm a tough old coot), just to have the opportunity to get one more grab at the gold ring. (Even if that "gold ring" just turns out to be a future memory!) As far as keeping all the mementos, I'm not saying that you should, or need to. But I don't think you MUST throw them away, either. I don't think it would be especially wise to drag them out and throw them in a new friend's/love's face, but I wouldn't hide them, either. A GOOD relationship MUST be built on trust and communication. And, if my lover DOESN'T trust me (which is the ONLY reason that my PAST relationships SHOULD/WOULD upset her), then we don't have the relationship "I" want, anyway. And we NEED to talk it out, between us. Or it's just NOT going to work. But then, I NEVER have been a jealous person, or UNDERSTOOD jealousy, as anything other than an indication of insecurity.
As far as your "falling back", THAT only tells me that YOU don't even trust you! Are you so weak? I doubt it. Or you wouldn't have ALREADY made it as long and as far as you have. Memories are nothing to fear! Only things to learn from. They can be warm coals, on a cold night. But, if your fires are hot enough, you'll have no need for them. What is there to fear, from memories? Nothing, that has any foundation in reason as far as I can see.
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After my son at 13 years old,decided, wanted to live
with his father,it is a great reward to hear him saying,
"""Whatever i have achieve in my life,i own it o my father."""
with his father,it is a great reward to hear him saying,
"""Whatever i have achieve in my life,i own it o my father."""
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Memories...bad or good...carry the same energy and are attachments. We carry them in Our minds to some extent and in our heart but we don't need any physical reminders.