Most Liked Humor Poems (1,865)

You can be the king of the rock, there’s no race to the top.
In the game of hide and seek, I’ll find your Gräfenberg spot.
Your gratification will be expressed in every tremble
I’ll take pleasure in making that cookie crumble.
Lick it, sip it when you drip.
Insider’s information tip is that you’ll be in for a trip.

My tricks will bring you treats.
In the game of seduction I have all the cheats.
Dine in, no takeaways or doggy bags.
On this menu appetizer, main course and desserts don’t have pricy tags
Indulge, savor, eat till you’re fill.
My pockets are filled with stamina, I’ll foot the bill.

Any time and any day you can be serviced.
No Sabbath, there’s no rest for the wicked.
But all customers are required to take fortune cookie before they leave.
Superstitious stuff or prophecy, it’s up to you to believe.
So take a peek at what destiny will ordain.
Your fortune will read “You’ll dine again!"

By Mc Bain Sammy

Once upon a time a man waited
sixty years to make love to a woman.
He married, and made love to his
wife.
Sixty seconds later she said,'Thank
you.'
The End

Time passes in review,
like a celestial rhythm meted out on a cosmic metronome.
Some say it's linear in process, others declare it to be cyclical...
I only know it passes in phases, sometimes its run is spent much too quickly,
or even a slow and leisurely pace.

It is the bus pass we never purchased...with each route subsuming the former.
Time has no face, other than our own...showing the years and scars that pass and heal.
If the future is tentative, then surely time is its catalyst....
establishing limits to every endeavor and every moment.

Time still holds the cosmic trump card, while hiding its secrets from
behind a pirate's smile.

Running its course, we participate only as silent partners...
Each of us destined to our own fate by the constructs of a benign
entity....we call "Time".





Gregory S.

Not all bugs taste the same.

If you're eating ham...and it smells like chicken, stop eating it.

When I tell you I am big-boned, I'm lying to you; I need to lose 20 pounds.

When I look into your eyes and say...I see you as you are...I am telling you the truth.

Not all soil is the same...some is white, some brown, some red, some yellow...but Mama Earth utilizes them in various ways, yet all equally.

If it snows...and your neighbor owns dogs...that's not lemon flavored snow you see in your yard, trust me on this.

Friends are the most precious gift of all, without them...life is a monologue....and a boring one at that.

Gregory

i have a nan who is always lazy
she farts and blows it drives me crazy
she slurps and gobbles at her tea
i think myself she is a lazy be
she talks out loud to herself
she eats me ma out of house and home
this is the reason i wrote this poem
i have a nan who is so lazy
farting and blowing all the time
slurping and gobling driving me crazy
i think me nan she is crazy
oh my god she is definately lazy