Random Limerick Poems (105)

tonight in your dreamy R.E.M.
you may see the crème de la crème
an image of the exact mate you wish
not a bumblin' clown or too devilish
a perfect match without a blem...ish

© agoodguy2have 2010-05-12

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity.

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Coworkers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......

Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.

Its Called therapy.

A pool boy at work in the shade
Was transfixed by a comely young maid.
She waltzed over to him
And she said with a grin.
You're just too hard at work I'm afraid.

THERE IS A MAN NAMED OTIS McGRAW,
HE TINKERS WITH A HAMMER AND SAW,
HE NEVER MEASURES TWICE,
AGAINST CARPENTERS' ADVICE,
HE HAS A SCRAP PILE TEN FEET TALL.

granny grandad mum and me
were sailing on the open sea
suddenly to our supprise
the boat tipped up and we captsised

into the water did we fall
granny grandad mum and all..
"look out gran ,here comes a shark
dont be daft were in the park,,,"

i love you when we first met
i loved you when u first left
i love u in the good
i love you as i should
i miss you everyday
when u left me astray
i hope to love again
some day some day, when?

A lady who lived in her car,
Who I'd met up with once in a bar,
When she came back to town,
And was feeling quite down,
Came and made me feel just like a star.


There was a hot blonde from the South,
Did amazing things with her mouth,
Her kiss was a blast,
But what left them aghast,
Was she'd suck but she'c never spit out.

:D

There's a forgetful old broad they call Babe,
She can't even remember her age,
But she knows she had fun
When she was young,
And she remembers how many she's laid.

Do You really Love Me when I'm fat and cry, and just eating my last pie?
When I go to bed being mad that I also ate my bread?

Do You really Love Me when I'm eating pork and just broke my fork?
When my dog is chewing lozenge for I think he is a sausage?

Do You really Love Me when I ate my beans so You do not want be near Me for You know what it really means?

Do You really Love Me?

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I once did a SEXY questionnaire
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Question one: mention size you desire

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Question two: short or long?

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Three: thick or strong?

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Shame, they didn't have me samples to compare!

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P.S. It's about men muscles lol