Elegsabiff Blog Comments (9,358)

RE: Where to go to meet a prospective lover/soul mate ?

Oh right the question was where.

Wherever you enjoy yourself - because chances are she enjoys the same things.

Jealousy - what is it good for?

Molly - and self-obsessed, yes!

Kal - already time to say g'night back to you! Logging out shortly myself for the night, unless I am back with coffee and browsing and see an irresistible reason to log in very unlikely

Marlin - if you love someone, set them free. If they come back, no-one else wanted them. Set them free again.
I'm not laughing at you, not at all, but your comment reminded me of that old joke. I've once been in a relationship where I simply didn't care if he chatted others up, but I think in retrospect it was because he was fun short-term but was always going to be a disaster long-term. He was fun but also, the last I heard, a full-blown alcoholic with 5 mangled marriages behind him. Our instincts often know better than our heads.

Scoobler, that Facebook app is the best thing I ever found, CS may never see another normal pic of me again I agree jealousy, envy, coveting, are all warped emotions but since an equivalent exists in nature I was throwing the topic out there to find out why. Instead I learned that hardly anybody suffered even a fleeting fluttering of it.

Mind you, there are a few on CS I have seen throw jealous tantrums on blogs, but they didn't comment

Jealousy - what is it good for?

So, the two things I know about Leo, they are sensual, and they have manes of hair. And I know you like hair.

Jealousy - what is it good for?

Hey, just realized it is 01:39!!!!

Krinka my ex-fiance would be too old for you and anyway a bit of a dud - big on the passion and jealousy, not so much on the talking side

If I had my life over again I would work my way through the Zodiac instead of sitting home half my life because oh dear what would the neighbours think if I was out all the time

Jealousy - what is it good for?

Kal, Krinka's your girl for this

But I see you're a Fire sign, have fun

Jealousy - what is it good for?

Krinka, I was engaged to a Scorpio man once. Go for it - but an eagle, or a scorpion, not a grey lizard

Whaaaat I went to check, when did they add more divisions?? SEVEN types now? I need to do some research! So many men - so little time

The astrological sign Scorpio has seven symbols.
The Spider. The spider, associated with selfishness, is the least evolved Scorpio symbol.
The Scorpion. The scorpion is the most well-known Scorpio sign. ...
The Lizard. ...
The Serpent. ...
The Wolf. ...
The Eagle or Dove. ...
The Phoenix.

Jealousy - what is it good for?

Grouchy, I said in an earlier comment that parties would be hilarious if partners reacted as openly and directly as our pets do

Jealousy - what is it good for?

Kal, you're an Aries, the baby I think of the Zodiac. Scorpio, how cheerful is this, is the sign of corruption, death and decay. Hope Krinka hasn't gone to bed.

Every now and then someone may notice that their closest friends, or the people they like most, have birthdays around the same time and then they feel more interest in others around that time and start looking out for people with those star signs. I tend to be one of those, but I certainly don't avoid earth, fire or air signs just because I like water sign people!

Jealousy - what is it good for?

Molly, meet Rob. I believe you are compatible

Jealousy - what is it good for?

Molly, you lazy moo

I looked it up for you

The most compatible signs with Taurus are generally considered to be Cancer, Virgo, Capricorn and Pisces. The least compatible signs with Taurus are generally considered to be Leo and Aquarius.

Also useful, whatever your father and brother are since you like them both

Jealousy - what is it good for?

AHA that Scorpio ascendant explains it all, the thinking, the interest in the dark side - Scorpio drinks of dark waters.

TBH I don't think I really know any Aquarian women, I had a lovely relationship with an Aquarian man but mainly because he wasn't intense and didn't have a dark side! It was the first time I learned that being in a relationship could be pure fun.

I started trying to work out how long ago that was (ten years? twenty years?) and have slightly shocked myself. It was a while back.

Any Aquarian men on here?

Jealousy - what is it good for?

Oh sure, don't feel bad for feeling them, that's easy to say when you just murdered someone, the knife's still dripping in your hand and there's knocking at the door

Jealousy - what is it good for?

Molly, you are enviably balanced.

Jealousy - what is it good for?

Krinka, I actually looked up jealousy and there were positives - I'm not going to copy and paste, but the ones I liked were, it is a motivator to improve your lot in life, a warning all is not well in your relationship, a spur to success because you like the life someone else has, or can even prod you into realizing you actually care about someone you have been taking for granted, when you see someone else look at them with interest.

Some join singles websites because they see a happy couple with a really good relationship and they think hey, I would like something like that. Very mild envy, but envy none the less.

So not all bad - except when it gets out of control

Jealousy - what is it good for?

KN, that's a common problem, guys saying bitterly that their GF doesn't trust them just because she had a bad experience before, and vice versa

Fool me once, more fool me
Fool me twice ...

Those who have been fooled are like cats on hot bricks at first but have to get a grip or they are causing themselves a lifetime of misery and suspicion. Jealousy at its worst is the green eyed monster constantly clawing - I think chronic jealousy, like chronic anger or chronic fear, is treatable, but it can't be ignored, it is a problem.

Jealousy - what is it good for?

Kal, I am the very worst person to ask - back to the Scorpio thing, I shall blame my astrological sign for making me a little intense.

If I was talking to a friend who made me wait while he or she talked to someone else, I would suggest we picked the call up later instead, because that's inconsiderate and rude - the implication is that I have nothing better to do with my time than wait on them bothering to eventually talk to me.

If it was someone I was romantically involved with and they were constantly putting me on hold to talk to anyone else, male or female? Once or twice, say a phone call comes, that happens. But constantly, and deliberately? Ooh.

OOH.

Nope! That would be the end of that relationship. No point in going a single step further with someone who will simply never understand my need to be the single most important thing in his life But I really am the very worst person to ask!

Jealousy - what is it good for?

Molly, I have got myself in such a tangle in this blog I hardly know what I am saying any more. I'm agreeing genuinely with anyone who has felt dark or bad jealousy, because I have felt it.

I'm genuinely delighted with any positive responses because I do want to find out how to use an emotion we normally suppress because it's BAD.

I think I need a little lie-down.

But animals don't understand jealousy, I noticed. My dog is fed up if I spend too much time or attention on anyone else, be it another human, the cat, or a passing dog. However if I was to jealously call her away when she is being made much of by a visitor, she would turn a deaf ear and simply ignore me. It would never occur to her that my feelings were being hurt when she adored someone else. Who feeds ya, dog? Huh.



Since this is CS, I should like to add I was joking in that paragraph. I am not jealous when my dog is all over a visitor and ignoring me. She's an animal. What does she know. Huh.

I am still joking.

Jealousy - what is it good for?

Itchy you probably won't have time to see this response but I tell you what, there is a Facebook app out there ("how would you look on a movie poster", I think) which is the best photoshop I ever saw in my entire life ever and that's what I have done - let them turn me into gorgeous. I absolutely LOVE it and man am I now easy on the eyes or WHAT?

I do say it is photoshopped on the pic on my profile, anyone who approaches me without reading the captions deserves to be disappointed

RE: JUST ONE MORE DANCE

Wen, keep in touch with her. If she could open up to you there was something she liked about you, too - and someone who has been in a happy relationship (a) knows how to make them work and (b) misses being in a happy relationship very much.

When she's ready - maybe you will get that dance, and it will be worth waiting for.

Jealousy - what is it good for?

Non, great article

When my cat is monopolising my lap my dog gets quite beady-eyed about it. Life might be simpler if we could react as openly and simply as animals do. I liked the male titi monkeys holding back the females when there was an attractive male around

Jealousy - what is it good for?

Bear, hi! and that's a really balanced view - especially your last point, good and bad jealousy. Your mom would be proud.

Non - I shall rush off to the titi monkeys as soon as I am caught up with comments

Jealousy - what is it good for?

Molly, that's partly the point of this blog. Jealousy envy etc is bad when taken to destructive levels, but when it is at 'ooh, I would like that' it is a positive motivator - as you say, you'd work to get it.

When you scowl at someone for having it and eat yourself up with resentment that you don't - that's what jealousy is famous for. But it isn't the bad guy, in its natural form

Work with me here babe


Non, er what is a lizard brain? One that blinks slowly? no need to reply if you feel the subject has been discussed enough, I will stop being lazy and look it up

Jealousy - what is it good for?

LJ - that comment But we all know too much unchecked jealousy can break anything. - bazinga. So true.

Deedee - yup, if I was chatting up a fab man at a party and my other half simply didn't notice I would be a little taken aback - for sure if he was nose to nose with a gorgeous blonde I would notice! But if he made a scene about it I would be horrified. There's a fairly fine line between healthy and morbid.

KN hi! you found the time to do a difficult degree not that long ago, if I remember correctly, and used it to improve your career - the very best and most positive use of it, seeing that others had better prospects, so tooling yourself up to get the same better prospects.

Molly, I know you are one who has never felt romantic jealousy or possessiveness, always impresses me. You've never looked at anything - a job, a car, a lovely garden - and thought I'd like to have that -
then worked to get it? Since you refer to the Tone(d) comment

That's true of everyone, of course, I just remember more about you two ladies for some reason. Okay, the reason being that I slightly envy you both

Hey, Wen thanks! Grateful for what we have is really important, feeling dissatisfied with our lot in life is pretty sad. Pushing a little to see if you can improve your lot can be good too ...

JJ oh yes we all have a touch of jealousy, human nature is human nature

Jealousy - what is it good for?

TR and some are destroyed by it even when there is no real need for it

Must shoot out the day's work has started, back later with coffee

Jealousy - what is it good for?

Oh Rob

Sometimes I just blog for fun, you know. But hey, if you can get anything useful from this, yay

Jealousy - what is it good for?

TR, in theory that means you are a man completely happy with his life and wow, that's awesome

I've always believed jealousy destructive and dangerous and hated it when I felt flashes of it.

I had one relationship a few thousand years ago which was ruled by the green-eyed monster - oh aye partly low self-esteem, also partly finding out that the guy I thought was spending too much time looking at others really was looking round. He departed to make his next partner wonder why she felt threatened and insecure

Jealousy is also non-romantic and can spur us on to achieve more of what we envy others for having - hence my opening comment

RE: My bf still open his dating site profile..

He may think things are going so well that he can close his profile - then he notices you are in and out all the time so



Seems like this is a new relationship which is still at first or second base, you guys need to talk before you take it forward to commitment - are you going to both commit 100% and give it a try, or are you going to warm each other's lives up for a while and see how it goes, but still leave the door open to other people

Losing your mum can make you feel very lost and vulnerable and needing unconditional and all-encompassing love pretty badly be careful not to turn this relationship into something it isn't, because he may not be in the same place and you could feel deeply betrayed just because he couldn't be what you decided in your head that he was.

Jealousy - what is it good for?

Rob, very good point, some people just do not get jealous - ever, about anything - and some feel jealousy is terribly important. You didn't want to kill her ex or scream at her for talking to him, so she feels you don't care at all?

I always believed jealousy was a sign your relationship is in trouble but hey, sometimes feeling a flash of jealousy wakes you up to realizing you feel more than you knew. So I guess not caring what she does is also a clue to your feelings?

RE: Reflections Of My life

Happy birthday Cat!!

Jealousy - what is it good for?

Tone(d), that was what got me thinking, because we don't have pointless emotions. Good point