The trouble with internet dating is that (and I know this is perhaps stating the obvious!) we can all put out any kind of persona we want, and hide our flaws and insecurities and so forth.
It makes no difference how long you communicate with someone online; only the other's breath on your face with make you really open up and be yourselves..
Its very easy to act the purist on the forums, and make out we none of us ever lie, or cheat or do bad things from time to time. Of course we do; we would be sainted otherwise.
Sometimes lies are born from innocent reasons; reasons that do not stem from wanting to hurt someone else, or to be deliberately deceptive. Sometimes they just happen, and can even come from a desire to protect some one you care about.
The movie "Liar, Liar" demonstrated very well the fact that sometimes ALWAYS telling the truth is not the best, or less hurtful way to proceed.
Has it ever occured to you that not EVERYONE is just dying to become an American Citizen? That some are just simply looking for love, and may just meet someone who incidently lives in the US?
I find my friends on here are of great comfort. Just because they are virtual, does not make them less to me. Perhaps I am sad, but thats what I truly feel.
And you have summed it up beautifully in your post.
As much as I dont want a robot for a partner, Im not a robot either. I have feelings and flaws - as many as the next person.
I have some issues from past relationships, yes. Anyone who gets to their 40s etc has SOME kind of emotional baggage. Its impossible to go through love and heartbreak and not have it leave a residue...
But Im open to new experiences, and try to see the best in everyone.
Issues of the heart, however, and tricky. Clear thinking, logic and openmindedness can go out of the window when your feelings are running high. Its difficult not to read too much into things.
I am 43, and I am finding so far that a lot of men my age or slightly older are judging me by their ex's behaviour. Its very frustrating, and very hurtful.
Im not perfect by any means, and I dont mind being reprimanded for something I have done wrong. But I dont appreciate being reprimanded about something that a guy "perceives" I have done wrong, due to an ex's past behaviour..
I dont want to be single for the rest of my life; but I dont want to keep going through the hurt of having my heart bashed about either.
Id move anywhere in the world for them, if that is what is required. Id stop watching soap operas if it annoyed them, Id stop hogging the duvet, pretty much everything..
But my essence, as Rose said, is my own. I wont change that.
Not even for Brad Pitt.. And I wish he would stop ringing me...
I have made so many good friends here already, and if I leave with just that, then thats ok. People complain about the site, and whatever, but I am overwhelmed by the amount of lovely, compassionate people on here
I hope my future partner is here, but only time will tell me that...
I think you have to compromise as regards what you like to do sometimes, and what you have done when you are single, but as regards compromising who I AM? No way...
petalbabe Forum Posts (3,101)
RE: What Is lOvE?
I agree, driven...Words mean nothing much, its actions and a demonstrative personality that ultimately spreads that warm, secure feeling of being loved.