However much you care for someone, there is NO POINT in staying with someone because thats the easiest option. It will only end in resentment and tears and a load of hurt.
As has been said on these forums before, feeling alone IN a relationship is far more destructive than being alone OUT of one.
Your friend, in my opinion, is far better off to leave, and spend some single time. It is not fair on either party in a relationship to stay for safety when someone is so unhappy.
This is an international dating site. Ireland makes up a very small portion of the number of participants, so logically we are more likely to be viewed by "foreigners". I personally have no issue at all with it, and have made some very good international pen pals, and also some romantic interest..
Both aspects are good, so lets just enjoy it and meet lots of new people..
Im not the best at dealing with awful situations in my life, but also, in contradiction to that, have to say that since Ive been single, i have found a strength I didnt know I had, because I have HAD to deal with alot of things on my own. For that, I am grateful, because its made me a better person, I believe.
I find it hard sometimes, to step back and view situations objectively, but am learning and improving. As with many people, Im very good, and much, much better at comforting others and giving moral support to them, but when it comes to my own problems, I sometimes get swamped. But I guess, thats just human nature to a degree.
That's very true, BJ, but I think we all have things we would "prefer" from a potential partner. For example, I understand that one of yours is that she is a non-smoker?? That is a preference, I would say.
The most important thing in my opinion is that we are flexible in our preferred qualities, and dont put potential partners in a "box".
Cutting our nose off to spite our face, because of one undesired quality when everything else seems delightful, would be foolhardy, I think.
Ive not personally been in this situation, but no, I wouldnt, and my reasons are these..
In my opinion, it would mentally be impossible to completely move on from their life with their ex-spouse or partner, however much they wanted, or needed to. Secondly, the logistics of bringing a new partner home to sleep over would make everyone in the triangle a little awkward, I think.
When you start a relationship with someone, you want a fresh start, in all respects. Co-habitating with an ex, for whatever reason, would just keep you static, to a degree, and its not for me, personally.
I dont really have "standards", but I do have qualities that are important:-
Honesty, integrity, ability to admit flaws, sense of humor and loyalty.
We all have a past, so what my partner did before I started a proper relationship with him is unimportant. We all have to forgive past misdemeamours occasionally.
What is most important is the ability to be kind and accepting, I think. Most people then flourish in that environment, when they accepted for their whole package and when being judged is not an issue.
ready, I just wanted to say my good thoughts are with you and you are a brave man. It must have all been very scary for you, and it has certainly made me think more about giving up.
I actually do think that until you have lived with someone, 24/7, you cant really know them; first thing in the morning, last thing at night, good days, bad days...etc..
I think its a very good idea to live with someone prior to marriage. It depends on your culture, I suppose, on whether that is allowed, but for me personally it is, so I would never take the plunge of marriage without having lived with someone first.
petalbabe Forum Posts (3,101)
RE: What should she do?
However much you care for someone, there is NO POINT in staying with someone because thats the easiest option. It will only end in resentment and tears and a load of hurt.As has been said on these forums before, feeling alone IN a relationship is far more destructive than being alone OUT of one.
Your friend, in my opinion, is far better off to leave, and spend some single time. It is not fair on either party in a relationship to stay for safety when someone is so unhappy.
I hope she finds her way through this..