BnaturAl Forum Posts

Aug 29, 2008

RE: Honesty is ignored

well you're one in a million too

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Aug 29, 2008

RE: OK, so it over - how do you let somebody down gently?

right on, are you rebounding on me because of graham?

You know though, I'll do the people pleaser thing, sometimes, not forever though. Sometimes I think its important to give in, its far better than 'giving up' and some issues while important to the other may not be a big deal to me, so I'll acquiesce with little resistance. Besides; having a side isnt always the point, as much as being a team. I think we dum humans tend to forget that.

Not sure I would agree with there being mental health issues always, I think dysfunctional is kind of normal anymore. The result of the behavior is certainly unhealthy to relationships, but the dysfunctional person isn't necessarily mentally unable to change as they are unwilling to see or pridigiously, maybe stubborn, to even self evaluate. I guess there's prob a psych term for it; but sheeeeeese I dont want to think of everyone as mental, maybe ignorant and set in there ways, refusing to change anything.

And yep that desire to get back to your beginnings, the initial thing that brought you together, seems to become more like an old xmas gift that was the wrong size.

I hear a lot of people saying "how could I have been so stupid" or "what could I do?" after a relationship, but seldom do they listen to the answers.

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Aug 29, 2008

RE: OK, so it over - how do you let somebody down gently?

I've had this thought ever since you posted this thread, of gently lowering their cement encased body over the side of the bridge and watching it sink gently into the Thames, and then being relieved by the sign of gurgling bubbles rising to the surface, grinning, satisfied that it hit bottom...

Of ocurse I wouldn't do that; cement is way too expensive these days.

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Aug 29, 2008

RE: Honesty is ignored

I'm not that easily distracted

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Aug 29, 2008

RE: Honesty is ignored

youre looking for 1 in a million, like the rest of us, sometimes you find her early, sometimes you dont. A million is a lot of women to get thru, so hang in there. She is probably worth the wait

I dont think your subject matter is the cause..

impatience might be

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Aug 29, 2008

RE: OK, so it over - how do you let somebody down gently?

oh crap! ummmm ... sell, sell, sell

I dont think there's an easy, way to say goodbye.. all I know is this

I dont say its over unless I mean it, and I dont say I love you unless I mean it. (other than horseing around here in VR land)

I take time to think clearly about both, and generally ask for that time in hairy situations, giving her 'a time' when I will get back to her and keeping that promise as well, unless of course she nukes it or shoots off a threat or something, then I"m gone, just don't want to be around that sort of disguised control misery.

roger fox dogs.

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Aug 29, 2008

RE: OK, so it over - how do you let somebody down gently?

Well I think its the same old story, Trish, it appears most people have no desire to change, least of all at the request of a partner, maybe it seems like giving in or something; but seems to me good old communication during and a desire to alter behaviors that are destructive would avert the need to blow the thing up at all. Seems to me for a balanced person it would be last recourse to end it, and only in the event of hopelssness; but for some ending it 50 times a month as a weapon to get their way seems normal ... normally destructive.

and then how do you beleive someone who most always says its over and then comes back in a day or two. I guess your words and actions have to mean something in the relationship for them to mean something at the end.
The one I did end, I had no problem at all with, I think that she learned to trust what I said during the relationship and so knew I 'meant it' in the end, so it ended resolved and we still talk on odd occasions.

jmo

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Aug 29, 2008

RE: OK, so it over - how do you let somebody down gently?

Apparently some people like stalkers, they want someone who will chase them in the beginning, come and get me, hurt yourself doing it; so it wouldn't be odd for the stalker to continue the behavior after .. wanting to be loved and wanting to be stalked are 2 different things.

I know we joke about here, all in good fun; but in RL needing that groping, never let go, run thrut the fires of hell, keep it up until your body crumbles just isn't healthy. I think theres self esteem issues in the needer and the stalker here. I guess its possible to fall prey to it as well, as we all want to be loved, but I think it shows pretty early so... Personally I would be ok with it as long as there are signs they want change, but if not, ummm bye..

Ending .. Generally, I would try to talk it through, without giving any wrong 'hope' signals, but it has only happened to me once. Haven't normally been the 'ender' unless its early in a relationship and I just saw things that looked irreconcilable, either not compatible or stubbornly in a control rut and I just dont see any desire in them to get out of it.

Ya, not a lot of how to end it help there ...

good luck to you and gra ... I think some well thought separation is a good thing

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Aug 29, 2008

RE: Say Something.... You Know the Rest...??!!

hope you catch something you like .... ummmmm eating

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Aug 29, 2008

RE: Friends with benefits

sure male friends are cool, as long as there's a woman on the side or on her stomache.. or ...

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Aug 29, 2008

RE: Say Something.... You Know the Rest...??!!

I don't know the rest

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Aug 29, 2008

RE: So, we have had men bashing threads, plenty and then some... So this is for all you guys....

thank..you ..s ...

its nice to be mentioned, noticed .. should I get nekkid now?

SHN(.)(.)BIES

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Aug 29, 2008

RE: Say Something.... You Know the Rest...??!!

oh ya, I nixed spain a long time ago

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Aug 29, 2008

RE: haha - Im listening to Elvis - what are you listening to?

Kim Mitchell - All We Are

all we are is all that love brings
we spin as the highest star spins
we get hearts on fire and in love
and sometimes we're too blind to see
and i know now that love sometimes stings
when you're waiting fo a telephone ring

and you feel like a lone star spinning
that might as well give up burning
don't ask me if I'm still in love
i'm hit by this love song i sing
cause you made me feel such a long way away
iknow now that love sometimes stings
I've waited for your telephone rings
and you made me feel such a long way away

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Aug 29, 2008

RE: Name five cities???

I'm removing the UK from my list, apparently the local meathead terrorists have overrun the place, so I'm going to go to ummm ... the outer Hebridies instead.

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Aug 29, 2008