Hi Mary, yes, it is not fair to have both. I have known 2 others like yourself. The lawyer for my divorce is bipolar and has MS and a friend of a friend.
My lawyer once said to me, if I was really depressed enough to have bad thoughts about myself to get this one type of wine. She said, it is better than doing something else and landing in the hospital. SO I have a bottle of wine around. Now of course, you would have to let your therapist know. But sometimes we have to decide ourselves about what to do. I mean if it is just one really bad night, and avoid going to the hospital, why not. Plus, it's great to get those hospital bills that the insurance will not pay in full.
I think staying in a good zone takes alot of work, keeping tuned up with your therapist, seeing your shrink, getting the meds, taking the med's., having bloodwork done, and going to manic depression support groups. Sometimes everyone on is in a great mood, and it can actually be entertaining when we can laugh off our troubles. Other times, people are in need.
I bet alot of people would be surprised at how much we do to take care of ourselves. I give my self a pat on the back for it since it is paying off. No one else does. So I support myself, ha.
I know there are cutters. I knew the sweetest girl who was in an out patient group with me, that would hurt herself.
I am positive it was because of how she was being raised to be perfect. She had a Mother who demanded things done a certain way. The poor girl would not get the grades she wanted in college and would harm herself. As all got to know each other, we tried our best to help her with her image of herself. That she was a lovely person, and was a good person, etc.
As for someone hurting another, I have never seen that, but I am sure it happens.
But there are people who are normal and snap, that hurt themselves and their loved ones.
No one knows until the times of great stress, how anyone will react.
Thank you for the topic, I have been doing lots of reading also due to questions that I would like answers to, and ran across interesting facts, this is one topic i found that i was shocked when reading the information. i condensed the info. down a full version is on the link. (For Informational Purposes Only)Chances are you know a sociopath. I say "ordinary lives," but what they do is far from ordinary. Sociopaths are people without a conscience. They don't have the normal empathy the rest of us take for granted. They don't feel affection. They don't care about others. Most people with a conscience find it very difficult to even imagine what it would be like to be without one. Combine this with a sociopath's efforts to blend in, and the result is that most sociopaths go undetected.......
I dated this guy once that I found could be mean as hell to me but so nice to his friends. One day, I told one of his friend's wife's we were breaking up. I could not be around him. She said that he had other girlfriends who would have loved to have wacked him in the head. So I could see it was a pattern. I also tried to tell her, how different he acted with me compared to his best friends. Never would he tell them you are not doing something right. But they were his friends. I just hope he never turns on them. In fact he was divorced and his own daughter did not want to be around him. I wonder why? He tried to convince me that he was always good to her. I am not too sure. I know how much I loved my father and treasured being around him. If a child is not comfortable with a parent, there are usually reason's why.
I also agree with the part you said, loving and hating like us. I go to a manic depressive group. One time a member was manipulating people in the group. With me, constantly calling and needing help. Finally during a group session, I gave her a note, saying leave me alone. Of course she reacted, left the room. Our moderator already knew of the problem and went to her since she had started putting on a screaming show in the hall. Then she went to the bath room and cut herself. This was really staged. The moderator was firm with her since she had been bothering him also. Her parents were called. I felt bad about how I had given her the note, but the moderator said I did good. I had to do something about it, and did not want to risk something happening without anyone around.
I did not know, she had become friends with one of the nicest women in the group and tried to get her to participate in something real bad. She also got involved with someone. SO the end of the story is we had to protect ourselves from her. We got a paper warning her not to come within so many feet of the building and not to contact any of us. She backed off.
Later, we thought that she was not manic depressive. I'm sure she was off her med's and had another mental illness. She is the only one that I have ever seen come to our group and cause a problem. We are there to talk to each other since we all have a bond.
Also, my cousin has a special gift, if you tell her when someone's birthday is, she puts it into her computer, and it stays for a long time. You can ask her to go backwards as to what day it was that 7 years ago, and she knows. I think it is incredible.
I will tell her some guy's birthdays in case I forget. I say Amy, what day is John's birthday, and she says very matter of fact, the right date.
She is better than me with dates. I can also say, Amy, remember when I was doing such and such, what date was that? I get the answer and it is right if I track it down.
ALso, one she had a hit list going. IF anyone in the family bothered her, she would enter you into her notebook.
If I said something that she didn't like, she would pull out her notebook, and say. .... I am entering you in my notebook. She didn't go to my Aunt but had her own system of dealing with the family. It was kind of funny, but she was very serious about it.
She finally quit, then became a vegetarian. That lasted 7 years. No one knew what started it. But one day, she started eating meat again.
She lives in a small town, and almost everyone knows her. Amy also gives unconditional love. I love it when she calls.
Hi Scouting, your son is special. I commend you for loving him the way he is in good times and bad. Not feeling sorry for you at all. Since I know what you mean. I have a cousin who is challenged and I feel very protective of her. She is so special to me. I accept her as she is and love her so much. She is pretty unconditional. She likes NASCAR, cats, etc. She is a pleasure to be around. I know she cares for me as I care for her.
I'm sorry if people look funny if he is having a problem, sometimes I wish people would butt out. Yes, they do not know how much you do to keep him happy.
Not sure if I get your point, laughter is very good medicine to all. It is not good to always be thinking and thinking. The mind needs a break. I know a sense of humor has helped me through alot. Just look at the comedians I listed. They have an illness, but humor takes over and thank goodness for comedians.
I would not want to live in a world without laughter. A good laugh that makes your stomach ache is golden.
I would suggest to you to have a good laugh, it doesn't hurt you.
I saw something I had never seen last night with my friends at a bar. Outside the bar, you could see people walking about.
Then I noticed a guy with crutches who had a fine leg and the other had been amputated to the hip. He was with a pretty woman, on a night on the town.
He had on jeans and a nice boot on the other foot. You could see that nothing was going to get in his way. I was awed. You could tell how he walked that he was sure of himself, very strong. There are some amazing people around us if you look for them and are aware.
Yes, my Uncle would talk of them. He tried to point out, that some people who are mentally ill do not want help. They do not want to be in a hospital, sometimes they are just barely functioning.
I would worry, that they might listen to their minds that are delusional and do something harmful to themselves.
I also think, that some might decide they are a easy target to bother with. Just like the reason some do harm to innocent animals for fun.
I agree, exactly, people do know right from wrong. Just a day or so ago, I got a call from the sheriff, a public announcement that a armed robbery had happened right down the road at a shopping center just a while ago in broad daylight. Now the person was on the loose near 2 streets where I lived.
I believe if you do something wrong, you should pay. True, some are born that way. Others can be guided down a better path by learning from a leader who cares. Exactly, the smartest people can be a little crazy. Maybe it is the way they think that produces their talent and can be a little off at the same time.
About dum people, are they sane? It depends on what you mean is dum. Like some one who has a learning disabilty, or just some one that acts dum on purpose, thinks they are a clown.
Yes, there are some people to stay away from. They can really be stressful on you. Like a friend said, only 16 years old, is a cashier for a bakery store. A woman comes in and says, hurry up with the coffee. Then another says, I don't want to pay .99 cents for a bagel. She's leaving, it is too much stress on her, the job is giving her panic attacks, also dealing with rude managers. No one needs that. She is also getting depressed. Before the job she was taking a antidepressant and now, is suffering. So good for her, she's leaving. She actually has to open the store at 5 AM 4 mornings in a row. Working longer than she should according to the rules for a person 16.
Get this, Demon, one time, a gal friend out of the blue called me a genius, I was like what do you mean? Never did figure that out.
To be honest, if the man is at that point, he has already left the building if he goes and has an affair.
I was at the brunt end of this. I was how could he betray me after 25 years and then get her pregnant. I believe I have some reasons, he says it was depression. I say bsht. I've had depression also and I did not stray.
I think it is insecurity, a want for what you do not have, and frankly they do not care what is going to happen when found out because they want it so much. I only wish I could have boot kicked him out of the house and throw all his clothes out of the window. If we would have a fight about it, it was all, lower your voice, the neighbors will hear. I would say who cares, you did it, now own it. You better believe we got separatd and divorced.
The best thing in that situation is to walk away from that person. Now he is dating his landlord (a woman of course) and is going to have Thanksgiving with her family. How cosy. But as Carrie Underwood said, he won't be cheating on me, no more. Meanwhile, I am having dates. It is way too soon to be involved again.
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