During those times, I would get angry also. A good pillow or hitting a tennis ball helped alot. I also felt a need to run away. Just by myself, to the sea.
There are 5 stages to breaking up: shock, grief, anger, grief, Time, acceptance
I may not have all of this right above but it gives you an idea. Sometimes, you go from one stage, then back to another.
But what I've been told over and over, is Time is your best friend.
I know alot of men don't care for support groups, but I have been to 2. Believe me, there were plenty of men besides women. My last one I heard stories of what women had done to there husbands that were awful. These people are the ones who understand more. We would tell our story, and sometimes eat together.
Hot Rod, it's fine.Gotta go to bed now. Tonight I went to a best friend's wedding. She is from Boliva but will be a US citzen. Everything was just right. Good food, nothing over done, and a great DJ. We had older people dancing and having a good time. Then one kid took someone's wheelchair and was trying to spin out on the dance floor. He was a red head of course.
I will stay and participate. I loves the Boban! I enjoy your answers. I shall blow you a kiss
Believe it or not, didn't have anything to say on the forums tonight, then found my old thread was alive. So I joined it. So I got to tell everyone hi.
I can't piss to the wind, I do not have the equipment. It's a good thing that I have come back. I do not think anyone has ever said what you wrote at any stage. Do you always piss to the wind?
Ok, how can I put this delicately? I guess that I didn't think it was a good way of expressing how you feel. It seemed a little comical instead of sincere. I think now it's good there is no pic because it seems like you are taking things seriously with how this turned out. It just seems more fitting not to have that pic up.
Also, I giggled a little that you said, by the way, what don't you like about the photo? I know you were being sincere with your question, but sometimes men can be cute about what they write.
First thing, I do not agree with any of your comments written after mine. All I can say is we can agree to disagree.
First, if the GG was not a CS person and this was not available for her to read, it would be different. But information about them came out and she read it all. I know it was not intentional by Ambroise. How would you feel if you had been dating a CS person here and you had broken up and then read about it?
She said in her note that she was grieving over her Mother dying, and he had wanted commitment. He is in grief and so is she. I would think I would need the person who had been a large part of my life there. I know how I would feel.
I am going to go right to the point now about my rose tinted glasses. I do not have them anymore. They are tarnished after the horror of my breakup. Would you say I have rose tinted glasses now if I told you my husband who was 49 (we had been married 25 years) had an affair with a 24 year old from his office, then got her pregnant? If that wasn't bad enough, my rose tinted glasses turned black when she called the house to talk to me before he went to another State. He had one more fling with her then dumped her so she thought by talking to me, she could get at him and me. Crap, I was innocent. I had never seen or talked to her. I did not even know when I took the phone who I was talking to. I screamed when I hear from her that they had had the affair in a government fault. Of course he had told me he was doing overtime. Yeah, right.
Our marriage wasn't perfect but I still had feelings. He almost destroyed me with what he did. But it felt simply wonderful to get my own apt. and leave the house of misery. How human beings can do that to their partner I'll never know, but it made it pretty easy to let go faster.
Maybe I can see something that you can't. I have seen destruction and I hate to see 2 people give up if their is any way to change things. Love is precious. But I do see when it cannot be put back together like in my case.
In my case, I felt burned at the stake. My family didn't understand. It was my best girlfriend who understood my heart ache. Thank God for her. She called alot and helped during the separation and the divorce. I just celebrated my first year of being divorced May 23, 2 days past of anniversary.
Ambroise, now GG is able to read everything. How would you have felt if she had done the same thing to you? Can you image how upset you would been to know all of CS was able to read about you and her?
Right when she is going through grief right now. It sees like she needed you and your mind was elsewhere.
I think you need to talk to her and try to help her out. If ever she needs you is now.
Make amends and try to get the ok to go to her and help her.
Put things on hold for awhile.
Then make a stab at working things out. Make deals - get her something small like she likes. Then you think of something you want. It really works. How hard is it to show how much you think of her by remembering her with a little gift.
I do understand how much you go through to see her, but women are not like men. We have different needs.
Just try to give it another chance. If it proves impossible, that is when you give up.
I try to have a nap or two during the week. I love it, it's away of turning off the world, then waking up refreshed. I also light incense and have my pets nearby.
When you can't eat, it's common due to things being very upsetting. You also seem like it can't be real, but when you wake up, it's real all right.
When dating, you have to be sure not to repeat the same mistakes. So it is wise to journal the experience. I wrote so much during that time period, all I need to do is throw it all away. That time is over. Now is the time to be in the moment but also look ahead.
Ambroise, I saw one of your posts recently and wondered if something was wrong. But I hoped it would pass. I have had 2 experiences. My first marriage, I was pretty young. He was my high school sweetheart. He didn't want to stay married, had cheated on me. I got depression and couldn't eat. My step father helped me move to another state and made me drink beer, I couldn't eat. The strangest thing is bright colors hurt my eyes.
Then enters #2. We married, were together 25 years. But I knew things were wrong. I found out why, he was cheating. At least the hurt and anger helped to distance myself from him. My best night was leaving the house to go to my apt to be away from him.
So I have been dating, and getting rid of the bad guys. I hope to find someone better. But I am glad for the time to develop on my own without a real relationship. He has found another. It hurts to be replaced but I know I can do a hell of a lot better.
Having been there, separated/divorced (last May) I would see if you could join a separated/divorced group. That was you can talk to people in the same boat. That is what I did. When you are in this situation, it's important to be around people that can understand. People not going through this can help also. I think it's great you posted. It's not a easy situation. Do you have a pet? It's great to come home to an empty place and a dog or cat are waiting at the door.
doberman3 Forum Posts (1,838)
I enjoy your answers. I shall blow you a kiss 
Yes you do if you fudge your income taxes, ha.
RE: Would These Be Unusual Relationships?
Seems like you are bragging, so as my Granddad would say in a deep voice "Big Deal".The Dobe