The above is why some people who are attached, come back and say hello - to there old friends.
Hi ya, Venus - I miss you!
You see, newbie, this is a site that does form bonds.
As for being defensive about being labeled attached and on here, I was offended. This is a free site, no rule as to who posts or their status. So when a newbie has a problem with me, I can let on.
But I do credit the Newbie for something - that you can be matched here. I really didn't believe it. Now I do, with others saying they see the box to check also. So the Newbie just may have taught some oldies something.
Now to why Newbie is being matched with attached/not single women, beats me. Maybe report it to the mods. Or if that is no help, just uncheck it.
Or take a real chance, and mark yourself attached, and see what you get. Ha!
Newbie, I am Not Single, Not Looking. I was on here quite a bit, enjoying the forums. Of course, flirting. Even met a guy here.
Now I have found someone. I do have a life, hobbies, etc.
You are not matched up here, there are plenty of women who do not say they are not single. Reach out to them, instead of picking on the women who aren't available. I'm sure there are men who are not single and post it.
At least we post it, give us credit for that.
I really don't like hearing from a whining baby.
I think you need a new hobby - learning how to reach out to women the right way.
You can't just moan and groan about us. We'll be on the forums when we want, writing to our friends.
Here's a good dog command for you, Leave It. Get a Life.
I met a guy here several years ago and dated for 3 months. Then it ended. By that time, I got to know people on the threads. I haven't been on for awhile. I think this is a good place to hang out on the threads. You get to know who is real and not a scammer. There are some people that have struck gold here and met the one, and married. I did not like Eharmony - they pick your type - I did not go on one date because I was not interested. Zoosk didn't have my type. Alot of guys wanting dates and more, then on to the next women, Frog City! I know several people on Match.Com. That is where I met my guy in July. But we were both for the same reason, ready for something real if it worked out.
Hi all, hello to old friends. What a pain in the neck! Twice for me.
1st: to my high school sweetheart - married at 19, divorced before 21. It had a painful ending - cheating.
2nd: married at 25, lasted until I was 50. It ended up for - cheating again. But I gave up hating him, and found peace. We are friends. Not all of the marriage was bad. I have some fond memories. He became a stranger at the end. Now he really regrets what he did. I tell him, it is in the past and you know you did wrong. But you have to stop punishing yourself.
I've met a person that is very different from my first 2 husbands. He is a caring person. He raised 4 kids when his 1st wife decided that she didn't want to be married or a Mother. When it was time, he remarried. Again to someone who did not care as much for him as he did for her. So we are both breaking our patterns. We appreciate, love, and respect each other. We are tired of trying to please others. We'd rather be ourselves and happy. I would marry this man after being together longer, nothing sudden.
The Dobe I had given up, that is when I found this guy.
Wuthering Heights, Gone With The Wind, Casablanca, Lydia - the older the better. I like classic Romance movie's more than modern Romance movie's. Some of the old stories were amazing. Stars like Bette Davis, Rita Hayworth, Vivien Lee, Katherine Hepburn.
Good point, Chris. I had not been separated that long with the last guy. Then I tried going out with some guys. Seems like I was just going out with no on of worth. I finally got wise. Now I either go out with friends, go on a date with someone with promise, or just stay home with my Doberman. It has been going better. Thanks, The Dobe
I would say if the person is separated, and split completely - like he is seeing another women, then the separated wife has every right of dating.
It would be different if they were separated and trying to get back together. Or if one was waiting on the others thoughts about staying married or not.
I will add, men did not mind dating me when I was separated.
But now that I am divorced, I do not date a separated men. I have had guys still be in the hurt stage. They are in another place.
So it may be that there are different cases to think about.
I think it is better to avoid it if you can. I think it didn't help me at all to date at that time.
I try to go out with men about 5 years younger than me or 5 years older than me. So many say age does not matter. I've known several men who got married to someone 10 years younger than them. Then the women decide they want someone younger. Same goes for men.
But I went out with one guy who was 10 years older, he was 65. He was a real player, he only joined groups to met women and have one night stands. Then he complained that one group we were in had the same people every night. I guess new women had not joined. He didn't talk to the men, only to which ever woman that met his fancy.
I have tried to go out with a guy 10 years younger. There is a real age gap. Also, after the flame has died, and suddenly we are both 10 years older what will happen? He reaches 55. Is he really going to be with me if I am 65? Hell, no, he will want to be with someone around 50.
So I avoid that route. I do not want to be some younger guys playmate and then dumped.
I did like a guy that was younger. It was hard to figure out how he felt about me. We liked doing the same things. Once I asked him if he would ever get married. He said no. That he wanted to be free because he had roaming eyes. The grass would always be greener on the other side.
When I first met him, he asked if I might move near him - NOT. So I said, you would live with me, but not marry me. He said yes. I was pretty upset. But the next day, I thought how it had gone with my marriage of 24 years. Maybe it would be better to stay single. Then he said, you can't change your mind from one day to the other, you aren't telling the truth. I said you are wrong, I most certainly could change my mind.
We would get into a fight now and then. When it happened, I'd throw away something he had given me, like a plant. That really bothered him. I said, so what? I guess deep down I knew I didn't mean that much to him, and I guess that was my payback.
We ended it over who knows what. The day before we split, I was getting tired of him. I called another guy. He took my phone and hung up on the guy. He was so angry. But he didn't understand, how hurt I was feeling. I did go out with the other guy. It was an awful date. I went back to the other guy for the last time. It was over.
Awhile pasted and he contacted me. He was interested but did not tell me he was dating another. Time went by and suddenly he said he did not date 2 women at the same time. He said he had been seeing her for awhile. Suddenly, I figured out that was when we had been talking. That was it for me. All games.
I think everything you have mentioned about her is a sign. Especially if she has liver problems. You will not be able to change her - she will have to want that herself, sounds like she needs to go to Rehab.
I would be very concerned for her daughter. She is not being raise right especially if she thinks her drinking is funny, and laughs in front of her daughter.
There are several things you can do. See if she will go to rehab while she is sober. If not, I would get in touch with her family, they need to get involved and take care of her daughter. They also need to get off their butts and help you.
It's up to you to continue this bad relationship. Maybe if she goes to rehab, things will improve. But nothing is going right now.
I actually get turned off with people that get drunk as a skunk. They are bound to do anything with liquor in them.
Cloud can be annoying. But I believe in what he is saying here. Plus, he is right, this is his thread. You do not have to read what he has written. Funny, you do not have a picture. Makes it pretty comical getting all pissy at Cloud.
I'll help you. Do not get stuck with this loser. He's still communicating with his wife - bad sign.
Kick butt him out of your life. I do not go out with separated men. Everyone in that stage need to recover from being married to separated, then divorce.
So he's holding on to you also. Treat your self right, he isn't. You need someone that will treat your wonderful. He's a loser.
Also, don't trust what he says about his wife, guys make things up.
Get in a winning relationship - this ones sucks.
I'm sure it won't feel good saying see ya, but it will wear off when some cute guy starts talking to.
Hey, ladies, anyone gotten a note form a guy from St Louis, MO but works in Nigeria? Ha. Gotta be a scammer - I forget what he does for a living, but I know it is one of the stupid occupations that they say.
I would say that links to this thread - where are the good guys at? I'm sure there are some here. But, those scammers keep on writing. Of course, he included his email address. Nothing doing.
Good for you, Nic. I got all the pets too. I felt bad for Piggy the cat before we split. The cat loved him, but was tired of not getting affection like he did, so he turned to me.
Boy, the posts by all the women on this last page have been right on. I will sum it up, and say, go girls. I am good now at figuring out a player. Before we met, he said 2 key sentances to me. They shouted player. I played his words back on him - get it through your head, you are not going to play with me. Boy, did that feel good.
If you want misery, you can find it. I do not want it.
Does Dalai Lama have a good quote about dating? I'm serious. It's a pain in the neck. Now, what #quote can I go to that comes close to how I feel?
This week by today, I've just had it. I had chatted with several guys on a reasonably priced dating site. I was interested in 4 guys. Mind you, just in a chatting/phone stage.
Then inch by inch, they dropped off the Earth.
The first one got upset at me the day before a date because I had forgotten something he had chatted about. He decided I did not remember him. He makes a crack that I must have a real problem with conversations if I can't remember them. I said, no, that was a blip. My memory is fine. I got a gut feeling that I did not want to meet him. So I texted him that night, and said, I do not feel comfortable meeting you now. Then he started texting me with offensive names. First, I was a nutcase. Next a amnesiac. I texted, no more communication or I will call the police. He texted back right away but I didn't read it, I called the police. We decided to let it ride, hoping no more contact.
The next day, I'm happy it is so pretty outside and all is well. At exactly, 5 until 2 PM, our canceled date time, he calls again. I answered and said, the police will be coming. They came out and I could have pressed charges because he would not stop communicating after I had told him not to. The cop said he would do a background investigation on him and call him. So far, so good.
The next guy, profile sounds great, a gentleman, blah, blah. I asked him if he would like to go to a concert. He says, no I do not like the music. But that he could come over to my apt, and I could play my music there. I said, then why not go to dinner or a movie. He said, no, you go on to your concert. So, he could go to my place, but not something decent. So he was a ladies man and player.
Next, another decent guy. Lives a hour from me but takes care of his child 3 days a week. All is fine, we even discuss the 1 hour time. He sent a chat to me. We had said we would meet next week. But tonight, he says, don't you think 1 hour is too far. I said no. Then he says, I'm sorry but it is. He said he did not have the time. He did not want to meet me and then have a connection with the time problem. So he's out of the picture.
My last guy: we had a date for tonight. I was suppose to pick the place. He said he would be working today. I didn't hear from him this morning. So I texted him, are we still on? He texts back, sorry but I have to stay late working. But he would call me. So far, I believe him. But all of this, just sucks.
I was cheated on with my ex, found out on a weekend, and then told him I am going to a lawyer that Monday. I was repulsed by him.
Do you want a good life, to be able to laugh with a women, or go through this crap? She has already dumped you, usually you can not trust them again.
I do not think she has real interest in you or she would have come back. Then taken the next step, counseling. A therapist told me, it takes at least 2 years to get things straight.
My friend, life is too short to go through this. If I was you, separation/divorce. Also, you think of your son. Things need to change for him to be on solid ground.
I think starting over, even though it is hell, is worth the result. It will change you. I went from depending on him since he was my partner, to the opposite. I took care of myself. I do not regret my divorce a minute. It took a while for me to forgive him. After I did that, he really opened up. Now, we do talk but just now and then. He has a new girlfriend who I think is ok. Now instead of a husband, I have a friend. If I needed help, I know I could depend on him.
I'm sorry you are going through this. I suggest seeing a therapist, at least to help you while you are separating. Also join a separated/divorce group. No one knows what you are going through more than a group like that. People share what they are going through, and will support you more than friends & family. They cannot understand what you are going through.
I will tell you, if you can slowly make up your mind, it will help out so much. Nothing worse than limbo.
I agree with you, she should hold off telling men until they know each other better. That way the person would know more how she acts.If things start getting serious, then would have to tell. She would also have to make it clear, she takes her meds & has a shrink, plus therapist. Of course, any person that is bipolar, and did not let the person know before they moved in together or married would be dishonest at the start. You would not want to find out after you got married. Because a person who is off their med's are not right. It is up to the other person if they want to be married to someone who has that condition. Hopefully, they would have strong enough love to get through on a rough day. Everyone has issues, no one if perfect.
That was nice of him. I hope you told him where he could go, ha! That is strange your account was deleted. You never know what can happen on CS here. They can decide to go against you or for you.
You might have it there. I have raised my standards, I'd rather be with my Doberman than with a player or someone who does not treat me right. Those days are gone.
Naked, very true. Born alone and will die alone. I guess you will not be alone if you are with yourself. I admit I was lonely tonight, doesn't happen often but it did. Then I got a headache, thought I needed some food. I went to the store and was able to get some chinese food. That was a mistake. I started feeling really bad. I got really sick. I ended up laying down away until I felt better.
So I forgot all about being lonely, ha. Now I'm fine.
doberman3 Forum Posts (1,838)
RE: If you are "Not Single, Not Looking" Why do you have a profile on a DATING SITE???
The above is why some people who are attached, come back and say hello - to there old friends.Hi ya, Venus - I miss you!
You see, newbie, this is a site that does form bonds.
As for being defensive about being labeled attached and on here, I was offended. This is a free site, no rule as to who posts or their status. So when a newbie has a problem with me, I can let on.
But I do credit the Newbie for something - that you can be matched here. I really didn't believe it. Now I do, with others saying they see the box to check also. So the Newbie just may have taught some oldies something.
Now to why Newbie is being matched with attached/not single women, beats me. Maybe report it to the mods. Or if that is no help, just uncheck it.
Or take a real chance, and mark yourself attached, and see what you get. Ha!
The Dobe