Can it work?

Long distance relationships are problematic and demand a lot of sacrifice; to say the least. It brings about many logistic problems. Visiting each other is fun, but once the romances had been sorted out, the real problems start; for such a relationship would require for at least one party to relocate.

If the two parties live in the same country it is not too bad, but if they live in different countries it brings even more hurdles to overcome. Of which fiscal control is not nearly the least. One does not easily leave your life’s savings behind.sigh

This can be further complicated by differences in culture, religion, tradition, careers and so many other things. Bear in mind that, because of the geography, the parties involved cannot know each other too well either.

Racial differences should not make it worse, but certainly do not make it easier either and serves very well to underline most the other issues. While one can change of religion, adapt to new culture, adopt new traditions and carve new careers, you cannot change your race. Not even with an operation. You will die being what you were born as.grin

And then I did not even talk about the tension, embarrassment and uneasiness that family, friends and strangers alike can bring about with their prejudice.frustrated

They say where there is a will there is a way. But is there a way to sort all these difficulties? It is easy to say one must reach a compromise, but compromise requires sacrifice. And one must be satisfied and contented with your sacrifice.

And then I ask myself; can it really work? Can love alone overcome all; or does it need a little help?dunno
cats meow cats meow
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Comments (103)

True Luke, true

Sardines are also fish... and if you eat enough you get full too.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
@ Cat....Hi therewave

I think for love you would be willing to move heaven and earth to be with that someone special.....my late husband was a German and he choose to stay in South Africa because that was where his heart was.....and yes initial there where many obstacles which had to be overcome....including a language barrier...conversing laugh wine
Hi Kitty
At least language will not be a problem here. I can speak the official language already.

But we did not meet yet.

As I said; this is only a feasibility study.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
wave Cfoot: oooh,okay! Talk soon, Maybe! Just maybe. . . . wine
south Africa has so much going for it(mineral reserves,nice climate,and places like paradise?why so much negativity coming from you??dunno
Eh... one of the reasons I do only seek friends out here. I have no believe in a long distance relationship if I should stumble upon one, and I'm not willing to move anywhere. I like it to much here in peaceful Norway, at least it's peaceful were I live.
hug teddybear hug
Soon Angel Soon
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
@Cat...just thought I would add my pip as a case for your feasibility study.... grin wine handshake

thanks for the interesting blog...as per usual cheers thumbs up
Yes it can work ... If both people want it that badly ... Yes "one" will have to do the relocating but after weighing the situation and coming to a mutual agreement .. No one should actually feel they are making a "sacrifice" but rather doing what's needs to be done for love and happiness .. We have chosen to join an "international" dating site ... So yes we just might meet our dream guy or gal who lives across the world ... If not we would have joined a local site if distance was a problem right? dunno

"Racial differences should not make it worse, but
certainly do not make it easier either and serves
very well to underline most the other issues. While
one can change of religion, adapt to new culture,
adopt new traditions and carve new careers, you
cannot change your race.
Not even with an
operation. You will die being what you were born as."

confused Why would there by a need to change one's race? ... I think that's an old South African mentality (the Apartheid days) maybe?

Anyways I am an Indian South African now living Ireland .. Majority of the people are White but I don't feel out of place .... I love learning about this new land .... I share my knowledge and learn from others ...my guy and I have fun with each others difference, nothing we'd want to use to mock each other with ... I can't wait to take him to meet my family and burn his mouth with some hot Indian South African curry laugh
applause Hey Nessa! Im glad, to here from you. And that is a great comment too! It makes me want to fall inlove now! "You Go Girl " cheering Ka poow!
Hi Angel wave
You go for it .... The more love shared in the world the better life would be wine
Not for me. I didnt even know this was an international site until weeks after I joined, I signed up to the .ie site. IMO you have to spend time in persons company to even know if you are attracted to them never mind fall in love.
thumbs up Nessa: Thank you girl! Stick around, and help me. I dont really know how to do this! Help me, Will you?. . wine
Scouse
It is a beautiful country and I love it, but is being managed very badly. Have you seen where we are on the corruption index. And I expect a huge plunge when the new one comes out
lol Angel you first got to change this laugh

"About me:
Nope!. . I'm not looking for nobody yet! And
you cant write to me either, unless i send you a
message first. Until then. . ." Dont try too! And
dont view me no more. Just pass me on by.
Thanks buddy! "
Wel
You have known me for a long time now. Do you think I believed in LDR's?

But here I am.
laugh laugh
Very insightful blog, Catfoot. Very well said. Obviously such a relationship can work, and if it does, that means it is truly a love match of two mature, committed adults with a solid foundation as well as a good support system. A mutual belief in God would be the cornerstone of such an alliance.
Glat,
I was not looking either; not even for a dating site. I Googled 'connectors for single electrical wires' and ended up here. I read on or two blogs and was hooked.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
Cham
I believe we are, as with many other things, on par with our religious believes.
Cat, I must disagree with you about religion as being something you can change. Before we are a race, we are human. Humanity is a creation of God. Our eternal identity goes far deeper than our racial identity. I would have no problem adopting to a different culture, but I'll die before I renounce my faith.

Of course, you may disagree and that is your right (as we are given free will), but I just wanted to make that point. grin
hahahaha! You were reading my mind. rolling on the floor laughing
I am waiting to eat the South African curries too grin ... "pin and account will be sent shortly lol ...

What I am confused about is why would you feel one has to change their race ? Could you please explain that part for me ...

And I do wish you all the best ... Hope it all works out for you wine
Koran bashers,bible bashers have you not caused enough misery in this worlddunnofrustrated frustrated
Scouse, how 'bout them religion bashers? And seriously, what do your bashing remarks have to do with this topic?
Cham
People change religion every day. In this country Muslim and Christian often intermarry and that requires conversion.

I myself, being Protestant married Catholic and my then wife converted. Today 33 years since we divorced she is still a devoted Protestant; which is not what she was while married to me. She renounced her Catholic faith and stuck to her decision.
wine hug
religion was brought on to this blog??not by mecheers I do not believe any man made religion?sorry you think what you like(but keep it to yourself)but Koran bashers and bible bashers must convert the world??cheers
Scouse
We had bad blood for a long time and I thought we were both man enough to put it behind us. Let's not start it again.

I admit that the Church had caused a lot of misery in the past but that was a long time ago. Let's forget about it now.

If you are a non-believer I'm ok with it and respect you just the same. So please respect my believes too. And my blog as well as the visitors to it.

We don't have to like each other; but we can at least tolerate one another.
cheers
its ok .... I understand handshake .... It just seems that people should feel uncomfortable in their skin just cus they want to relocate to be with the one they love ... And it shouldn't be like that .... The person that falls inlove with you already know you are a different colour, race, religion, culture etc. and they still accept you the way you are and if other people have a problem with it then its "their" problem .... infact my skin colour is a big turn on for my guy blushing
Cat,,, comeonnn we all know you actually wanna become Chinese..rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing Just a 'i' joblaugh

Hi Ness good to see you give my ol buddy a hard time. Keeps him on his toes. Regards to ur hubby.handshake rolling on the floor laughing
Well scouse, it seems you are attempting to control people's comments by saying that their opinions must leave their values and beliefs parked outside. Who are you to limit anyone's freedom of expression? If the OP doesn't like my comments he has the right to say so or to delete them.

Furthermore, my comments do not in any way limit anyone else's freedom to choose their own actions. In fact, I have stated that God gave us the freedom of choice. Otherwise he would have placed an electric fence around that tree that he warned not to eat the fruit from.
Cham
You too girl. Let's drop the subject now. This blog is about LDRs and not religious ideologues. Your point was made and your point was taken. No need for further elaboration.
wine hug
Luke hey nice to see you too wave hope you enjoying the summer there ...

I am actually being a lot nicer to Catfoot since he is a fellow South African like me grin ....
Nessa yes,

I reckon it could be a turn-on. And we have some beautiful young Xhosa girls and we see more and more mixed marriages all the time.

But then skin color is just a pigment of the imagination.laugh
@ Ness, yes great weather here, and hope ur climatizing too in the fridge rolling on the floor laughing

Yea noticed you going easy on on the poor guy..rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing wave
Sorry for the hijack my friend.

Meer bek as binnegoed... handshake
Luke,
Those Chinese dolls are beautiful but not half pretty as my flower. Should be quite fun to become Chinese. Can change my name to Wat Wen Wong.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
a lot of hard work catfoot,lots of obstacles as you know but i believe it can work,obviously a lot depends on what commitments you have in youre current location,it wouldnt be an option for me personally mainly due to having a child at a key stage regarding his education,to up sticks and leave england would be totally unrealistic for me at present due to the disruption it would cause for my son,other hurdles i.e work,,family ties etc will vary from person to person,,some people are in a better position than others regarding the complexities,,but i think if both parties want it bad enough they can make it work,i always think "whats the worst that can happen",,we are on this planet only once....if i were put in the position and didnt have the ties that i do have then i think i would take the chance,,only my opinion though....youre last sentence..."can it relly work ?,can love overcome all,or does it need a little help... i think it does need a little help...but it can work..imo...cheers
"I reckon it could be a turn-on. And we have
some beautiful young Xhosa girls and we see
more and more mixed marriages all the time."

I hope there are some beautiful young white girls there too laugh...

Oh then again skin colour is just a pigment of the imagination right? wine

anyways I wish you a positive future ..... Enjoy! wine
Luke the cold is not that bad just a little colder than Johannesburg but its the rain I don't like .... I am used to dry winters .....
comfort Hey! yall. . .
wave Ohoy! My little Lukie. . ohoy.
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Catfoot

Catfoot

Around here, Western Cape, South Africa

I know I cannot always have what I want, but that does not make me want it less. Otherwise I’m easy to please, flexible, accommodating and forgiving. I cool down as fast what I get cross. I hate it when people lie to me. I’m hooked to my laptop, but [read more]

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