Improving Ourselves

When I see somebody doing something well, I admire his skill. I’m not a good musician and when I see somebody who can play a music instrument well, I admire the skill. I’m not a good dancer but I enjoy watching a couple who can dance.

When I was young I learned to play the guitar. I was never any good at it and I soon realized that it was not for me. I have no rhythm in me. Just like I cannot dance well, I cannot make music. And I don’t have a singing voice. Maybe it was not important enough to me for I accepted that I will never be good at it.

Fortunately there were other things that I was good at and I concentrated on it; honing those skills. And through the years I have acquired more skills by watching those that I admired very closely. I even asked them to help me in the things they were good at. In that way and by practicing that skill, I became better at it; sometimes even equal or better than those who I had followed.

All of course within the framework of my capabilities and limitations. You cannot expect to become a heavyweight boxer if you weigh 70 kg.

In this way I had improved myself to a point where I’m happy with myself and, although I’m getting older, still willing to learn new things.

But it was not always like that. There was a time, after my divorce, when I was bitter. It was the first divorce in my family and I got a lot of flak about it. I was unhappy and I felt a failure. I did not like myself, yet I believed I was better than everybody else around.

I no longer admired the good in others. I envied them. I did not like to hear about their successes. It made me feel inferior and I did my best to discredit such. I wanted to pull them down to my level. Until one day when my father sat down with me and told me the truth about myself. At first I was furious and walked away.

But eventually it all sank in and I came to my senses. I was not getting any better by pulling others down. In fact, I only alienated myself from a lot of good people. Instead I surrounded myself with others like me. Birds of feather flock together.

You cannot keep a good man down. You may dislodge him but he will quickly regain his footing to kick you in the teeth and you will go tumbling down, right back to where you started while he will still be up there; where he belongs.

To improve yourself you have to look, listen, learn and work hard. Talking is not going to make you any better.


I wish you all a great week ahead.