WHEN DO YOU PULL AWAY FROM A RELATIONSHIP?
You think and feel you found happiness. You both fit. You both are too excited. But as you begin to settle down and discover things that rather overwhelm you and can't seem to make it work, you begin to feel the shudder of doubts and skepticism. But deep inside of you and your heart, you know you have a spark of love that keeps on getting inflamed now and then. But truth keeps coming at you like it isn't what you expected..Something is evidently wrong. You know that feeling when it is circling around you like dark clouds building up to a destructive force worst than any storms you've ever been into.
The problem is: Not that you don't want to leave, but that it is very difficult to come up with an excuse why you should leave because there are some traits and characteristics that just blow you away.
Measuring up to your expectations are detrimental to any foundation of a good possibility of building up a strong commitment to stay. Yet giving more consideration seems like you're knocking at the gates of hell.
Question is when do you know when it is time for you to cut loose? Scram? Let go and go solo again?
These are very self explanatory questions sometimes but when it is you that is hurting and can't seem to find balance and trust in yourself it is hard. When you fear that the past will come creeping back and haunt you, it is not good. Yet your heart is so stubborn and your mind is going blinder than it ever was, it is very difficult. At least to me.
The truth is, not that you're not happy and content being alone, but admittedly there are so many good parts of this relationship that you've never encountered ever, and just want to stay longer.
Definitely if these issues are resolved (I know they can be resolved as love is truly there) then it would be heaven. Meantime, you're caught in a bam of two extremes where the middle point is hazy.
When do you salvage a relationship and when do you shrug your shoulders and let go?
Thanks for all your read and comments.
Comments (53)
Not good question for me as I do not think always about, if I can or when I can and even want a relanshanship. So I do not expect anything but a bit of friendly banter on here from time to time.
Don't know Red. Life is so twisted sometimes and wring our hearts and mind and poke you so hard, even your bone aches, you know?
Hmmnn Red, couldn't have been simpler? If we just put on our cloak and be an hermit?
Don't know Red, I do love, love and somehow it always come crazier than we ever know..
The problem is, if we keep running away and at least don't go deeper into the abyss, wouldn't have we found the gold? The spark that is buried deep within the trench?
I know I sound silly, but that is what love does to you Nam. You cloud any remnants of reason you might have because it is the emotion that counts. The investment of a future you both laid out is packed with good stuff, but letting go of a past should be the key. The truth is fear is looming due to the fact that what makes me think it wont come back?
Thanks though.
I have not had the bad health and wake up call you have had so as from my friend who had I have learnt you then look at life different.
Anyways I do wish you total happiness for you and peace this helps health too. the innerpeace.
Thanks Red. I do learn a lot Red and I was so hesitant to put this on board but heck I am so overcome right now..
Sounds like you are in a tough situation! Maybe you could take some time off alone from your situation and reevaluate what is important and what isn"t.
It is said that when Ben Franklin was making very important decisions, he used a technique where he took a piece of paper and drew 2 columns. At the top of one column he put "pros" and the other he put "cons". Then he would think of each thing and decide what column it went into. After going thru this completely, he added up all of the "pros" and then the "cons". Which ever had the greatest number that is what he made his decision by. You could play with this idea a little to maybe help resolve your situation!
In a private mail, we can talk further! I wish you the best on whatever you decide!
Your friend.
And yes, I have halfway filled it Jim and it is not a very tough line because if I can find it in my heart to forgive his past provided it wouldn't resurface, I am in heaven. Learning on life took many a horizon of changing Jim and I am rich in that part. Just the trust that past is never coming back...Maybe..
Because when I LOVE, I GIVE IT ALL, MY WHOLE BODY, HEART, MIND AND SOUL. There is no other way.
So no lies involved.
Lie is m y cardinal rule. Once and out. Period.
The more a person lies, the easier it gets. I made a decision long ago to not lie about things and relationships. I am certainly not perfect but I have worked on many things in my life to improve myself. An old expression: "don't lie and then you won't cast a shadow".
Gen... like I put on my profile.. Honest would be look always good and beautiful wherever it is... and honesty would lead us to the greatness...
Thanks again my dear friend Molly. I do love him and I do know he loves me...and time will tell..
I am at a point where I can live my life alone, but the thrill of having to love someone is far more enticing than anything else, and I have to admit, I have a lot of love to give to whom my heart beats and my mind feel secured with as well as my soul not harmed.
E. my friend, thanks, how are you and have you heard from our friend Non?
I sent you a mail. Did you get it? Befriend me then..
Soon a very bright light will tether you to your satisfaction, you'll be on it forever..
You sound to be very unsure of your relationship yet enjoy immensely other aspects of it.
The heart is such a tender place and we want to protect it from any more pain whilst wanting it to be loved and cherished by someone special. The dilemma of what is real.
I was going to suggest what GJ said about the list. I have done this about different things and it helps.
Also I believe when something is truly right your heart and mind comes together as in it 'sounds right and feels right' at the same time. At least that is how it is for me.
We are all different though and handle life and love differently. Only you will know.. But just be honest with yourself. Think what you would tell your daughter... Hear your own counsel.
Good luck lovely lady, you have a beautiful heart so look after it well.
After all even the hearts is so overwhelmingly incapable of being right..as the mind wants..so thanks my friend..
It is difficult to make decisions based off of emotions. Emotions are always changing.
Hope you are doing well.
I'll be forgiving on this one my friend.
Thanks for your visit
I thInk we just expect too much. We have no patience. We can live alone easily enough these days so we do when small things we dont like happen , we run , because we cannot be' bothered with other people a inadequacies.
I hear you. It's all in the pros and cons like Jim said. But yes the stability depends on case to case basis.
Thanks Ed.
Thanks so much. Of course it's not like he is not sensible to my hurt and know exactly how not to bring it back.
Thanks again Ken.
Take care.
we eventually will make each other physically and mentally sick as it self destructs
its best to quickly disengage as to minimize the damage and begin healing.. the longer you remain, the harder it becomes to dump the data, where echo imagery affects continue to feed dopamine and leaves you in suffering stasis
I am aware that all the requirements needed to leave had not occurred yet, just lacking of assurance that it wouldn't repeat itself. Thanks so much