Elephant Stew
Following the decision to utilize the carcasses of animals that fell victim to poachers, elephant carcasses became available in moderate quantities. To pave the way for the Elephant Carcass Export Company (ECEC) I founded last week, I bring you a recipe on how to prepare this African delicacy.
Ingredients
1 Large African Elephant carcass (Loxodontus Africana)
200 Bags Of Salt
500 Kg Pepper Corns
750 Pockets Of Potatoes
300 Bushels Of Carrots
200 Pockets Of Onions
200 Kg Of Parsley
1 Rabbit
Method
Cut the elephant in bite-sized chunks. This will take about six weeks.
Chop vegetables into cubes. Another four weeks.
Place meat in jumbo size missionary pot.
Add 5123.25 liters of water. (fire hose suggested)
Simmer for 28 days
Shovel in salt and pepper to taste.
When meat is tender add vegetables. (Electric conveyer belt recommended)
Simmer for another 14 days with the lid on.
Garnish with parsley
Serve warm on a bed of cold rice
The recipe serves about 3000 people. If more guests are expected, add the rabbit. However, this is not recommended because very few people like hare in their stew.
Anybody interested in investing in my new venture are welcome to apply. All inquiries will be handled in strict confidence. Only the gullible need to apply. No scammers please.
Have a joyful week.
Comments (53)
That is what makes him so dangerous, You never know when he is around.
A pinch converts roughly to a shovel.
Btw. I have eaten elephant meat, dried and otherwise too. Once (very long ago) bought some in a can too. quite good and not tough as one might imagine.
but, hippopotamus is better. To me the prime if venison.
Exhausted, mind. And the kitchen looks like an abattoir. The dog has been banished to the lounge and the cat is looking a little wild-eyed and is growling and crooning.
I need a coffee first, I think. And will need to borrow a few cups of sugar from the neighbours (I estimated 12 cups to the shovel, yes?). Salt not a problem, we didn't need the sidewalk salt because temperatures never reached freezing. It's a little dusty, but there's plenty of it.
Great, then I already have a market in the US of A. Your nrxt order is just a phone call away.
Let me call you sweetheart
I'm in love with you
Let me hear you whisper
That you love me too
Keep the love light glowing
In your eyes so true
Let me call you sweetheart
I'm in love with you
Keep the love light glowing
In your eyes so true
Let me call you sweetheart
I'm in love with you..........
I Ain't Calling You.....
Let Me Tell You This!
You Been Drinking! Right?....
That is so touching. Do you think you can repeat that later when out guests have gone home?
Ok, then send an email. Remember, you don't have elephants in the US and I have first option on all the African elephant carcasses.they are much tastier than the Indian variety.
What did Teenam say?...
We have duck weather too this time of the year. Luckily it is not raining today.
I'm not sure. She is slurring a bit.
Tusks had gone.
Roald Dahl told a story of 6 male rats and 6 females in adjoining pens, with an electric fence between. First male charged the fence ZAP dead. Hmmm. Then one by one the females tried, and died. 5 huddled male rats left.
Women are definitely more determined than men, once they see the quarry in view! But males will go further to look for the quarry. jmo.
Yup, I'm a little bored this afternoon ....
My heart is pumping custard for you.
We has them in the USA!....
Don't worry about the people. We are the people and nothing can ever come between us.
My neighbor has a elephant, on her patio...
This is possible!
Here in the USA! Some do come in 6 rows...
We have a terrible problem with poachers. When we guard the elephants the hit the rhinos and when we guard the rhinos, they hit the elephants.
We have many pig's here?
Do you want one?
Yes I know but no thank you.
I fear that depends on the size of the serving.
Ole Come On!
Take one for the road. For you only. $ 1700...
Send the $1700 and I'll consider it.
I have the pig. duh!
You send the money. So you can have a pig too. Deal?.....