Revenge of the tooth fairies

An alarming trend is occurring where adults are waking up each morning with vast quantities of ear hair in spite of trimming the unsightly wax encrusted mess each day.

Many people are also reporting errant long curly eyebrow hairs as well as thick nasal bush and they all claim to depilate and groom themselves each and every day.

Scientists at the Institute of Facial and Auditory Hirsuteness have concluded that this phenomenon is the work of disenchanted and unemployed tooth fairies.

In some areas of the world kids today are losing their teeth in large quantities at one time, and in other countries advances in dental hygiene and dental implants are putting tooth Fairy’s out of work.

As the work that tooth Fairy’s do, is not classified as “real work” so no unemployment benefits or income support is paid.

The EU President Mr. Kraughty Juncker’s has blamed Brexit and wants EU countries to pay the Fairy’s compensation. Angela Merkel has stated that Germany will welcome all the Fairies and integrate them with her people, but perhaps this valiant sentiment is too late.

Are you a victim of the Tooth Fairy’s Revenge?
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Comments (34)

I'm a woman and maybe too young for this affliction as yet. One never knows when I'm older.
Snooks, Its affecting both Men and Women of all ages, perhaps the SA tooth fairies are still employed as Zuma's Health system has failed and more people are losing teeth.
Map man. Maybe the tooth fairy been on strike too long an many have lost the art and teeth without rewards. The tooth fairy left me 40 yrs ago. I had to pay instead. Maybe the tooth fairy need you to get her back on the saddle ?
I am one of the few who knows when I am older.thumbs up
Have not had any hair problems so far.cool
Molly, You have a point but, the big Pharma and electronics companies must be in cahoots with the fairy union, The amazing array of depil devices is staggering and most are overpriced and designed to fail after a few uses...Profit drives these people crazy.
I have no doubt there are fairies infiltrated withing even big pharma.

I would say approximately 10% of the workforce may be fairies.
wizard, You are one of the lucky ones, I think the Canadians do look after the fairies, Ive seen them at the Ice Hockey Rink in Toronto in an executive box.
Molly, 10% of the big corporation staff are fairies!, Its no wonder things are so bad, I wonder if Hilary Clinton has some in her offices? I did notice she had the makings of a huge monobrow and I believe has an FBI trained hair remover travelling with her, perhaps the excess ear hair is whats making her dizzy?
Unl, Word on the street is that the Fairies are adding ear and nasal hair at night in Ireland and that the Leprechauns are removing it before you wake up.
She may also have internal auditory fur which would affect her balance.
Peds, you should have made a video of that and given us all a laugh grin
Map, continual falling down and hocking up green stuff could also be a result of drinking too many martinis in the pool.

You could have saved yourself a vet bill by reducing intake of said substance.
Molly, Im shocked and dismayed that excessive pool Martinis may have been the cause of my affliction, To think I assumed it was inner ear hair and paid the vet large sums of cash has saddened me.
Thanks for the warning thumbs up
Following seconds of exhaustive research on who might be behind the fairy insurgence, I can reveal President François Hollande of France travels everywhere with his own hair removal specialist in toe, 7 days a week & costing French tax payers €100k a year (plus expenses), I'll leave readers to draw there own conclusions about someone who needs 24 hour hair removal professor wow
Map, the vet is in cahoots with big pharma.

He will tell you that you have many afflictions, including trench-foot and ear-fur, just to separate you from your hard earned cash.
The faux is the issue there.

Real leather has more gripping power

Shame on you for making that rookie mistake
can always use that Hair for a Comb-Over!laugh
Conrad, Thats a great idea, You could produce a book of ear hair comb over styles.cheers
Inspiring. ....
i am shocked at this news!help
Tenner, Im glad you are inspired, makes my time worthwhile.

cheers

Free, I shared this to help!
I wonder if I lost a tooth now would I get a good pay out from the tooth fairy?

I would need at least enough to cover the cost of an implant.
Mol, Ive made some pretend enquiries and the current rates for a tooth are just €1.00 Euro or 85 UK pence, due to Brexit these rates are decreasing, with Implants costing around €1000 you would have to purchase teeth from a charity shop.
That might be a good startup business

Recycling used implants (for profit of course)
Mol, Used implants might as scarce as hens teeth, I think a lot more second hand dead peoples false teeth would be available, the problem is the fitting, so you could sell a pack including a file and pliers for DIY installation.
A DIY kit is definitely an option.
But you know us weak females need a man around to do DIY innocent


I think I would go with an alternative of a money-off voucher for the local Hungarian dentist.


And get 10% commission then from the dentist.
aisha, You cant really blame the fairies, Its just a result of society changing and the greed of large companies.
Non, Im sure its the truth, in my mind anyway, Go on add that to your CS profile, It will make you more humancheers
molly,
Brains and blurry eh !
Some girls have it all laugh
Map,
I may just take that advice laugh
Unemployed and bored is always a dangerous combination! wow
KN,
my hands are always busy wink
I have no doubt about that Non. wink
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Mapmaker

Mapmaker

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