Your ex ( Archived) (41)

Yeah, my Ex bothered not only me but my friends and family to get back with me. Our solution was to match her up with someone else.

I didnt mean to embarrass you.
I just remembered your last thread.

Ive had experiences where an ex wouldnt leave me be either...the last guy i dated was the same.

I gave him the benefit of the doubt....he behaved same way again...so then i blocked him....and once i made the decision...alot of the stress of it eased.

Hope that helps...just go with what you know about him...and about how you feel.

LOL!....I´ve done that. It works

I agree.

Your ex is with another and still acting lovey dovey with you? hmm he could still have feelings for you or testing the waters if he can come back if his current woman doesnt work out either way this is not good for his partner, to be frank she would not be ok with it so it needs to stop. if you dont want him back I suggest cutting him out of your life. You could keep him as a friend but thats messy, upto you.

my experience in this situation is, they say they still love you after you have parted, but he never really loved me when we were together. He just never found someone as good as me. Think about how he treated you when you were together, did he have time for you, was he there for you. There are people who only want you because you are gone.

Have you thought about THIS, Heavenly? Sweetness (SweetFunnyChic) ALMOST said it, but didn't. IF I'm understanding you CORRECTLY, you WERE with this guy, and NOW HE is with someone else, but contacting YOU, with regularity. And you're CONFUSED about WHAT this means/implies. Whether he wants you both? Whether he wants YOU back, and wants to LEAVE her? Whether he likes you, and wants to REMAIN YOUR friend?

Any, or ALL of these ARE possibilities! But, as NONE of US know YOU, and/or HIM, EVERYTHING WE say is just rampant speculation! But I THINK there might be a way for YOU to find out!

Consider this. CONFRONT HIM about it! Ask him, straight out, "What are your intentions? WHY do you keep calling me?" I don't know if you're Muslim or not, but living in Indonesia, you might be. And I'm SURE that (ESPECIALLY IF you're Muslim), you've been conditioned from birth, to be deferential to men. So this MAY BE a little difficult, for you. But BELIEVE ME, if you WANT/HOPE to have a good partnership/relationship WITH this guy, you NEED to be able to talk/communicate with him! (Whether you're talking about only a "friendship" relationship, or SOMETHING MORE "serious".) If you CAN'T communicate with him, and he WON'T communicate with you, then the odds of you having a relationship that WILL make/keep you happy, are GREATLY diminished!

You CAN do this over the phone, when he calls you. But it would be BETTER, in person. WHY? Because, in person, it's EASIER to "read: someone. Is he nervous, fidgety? Is he looking you straight in the eye? All these little "body language" signs, that will help you determine if he's being HONEST with you, in his answer.

There are SEVERAL possible outcomes of your asking him this.

#1. He COULD avoid answering your question. Doing so would imply that HE doesn't know, himself! Or he DOESN'T want to answer you. NEITHER of which are GOOD answers, for you! And SHOULD give you pause to be suspicious of his "reasons/purpose".

#2. He COULD say that he just cares about you, and wants to be your friend. If he says THAT, then tell him you want to check with his PRESENT lady, and see if SHE is "OK", with that! If he agrees with THAT, then it's PROBABLY true! If NOT, then it's PROBABLY NOT true!

#3. He COULD say that he's unhappy in his new relationship, and prefers being with you. If he says THIS, then YOU need to consider what YOU want! Do you want to invest YOUR life, in a man who's NOT DEFINITIVELY, FOREVER committed to you? (Which he's ALREADY PROVEN himself NOT to be!) How 'risk" adverse are you? Remember, there ARE millions of men for you to choose from! HA:F THE WORLD are men! What are YOUR "requirements", for a man, in YOUR life? So YOU need to figure out what YOU want! And IF you decide it's him, tell him, "OK! But let's go get your stuff, NOW!" Or, "I'll go with you and we can help her move her stuff out." His response to EITHER of these responses SHOULD tell you ALL you need to know, about HIS intentions.

#4. He COULD say he wants you BOTH to be with him! In which case, AGAIN, YOU have to decide what YOU want! And IF his being with BOTH of you IS acceptable (to YOU), then tell him the 2 of you need to got talk to her about it! (If the 2 of you ARE going to share a man, then you're going to NEED to be able to talk, between you, about the "problems" this man IS going to cause you! (Trust me! A man IS going to be a "problem", for ANY woman [or women] to have IN their life! He's ALREADY being one, isn't he?)

I COULD list OTHER options, Heavenly! But the BEST weapon YOU have, to determine HIS intent, is the threat of YOU talking to the OTHER woman! Now, I'm NOT SAYING you SHOULD "threaten" him! Simply stating YOUR WISH to SPEAK to this OTHER woman, SHOULD tell you ALL you need to know, about HIS "intentions"! And HIS "respect" of YOUR stated wishes, WILL tell you HOW MUCH "respect" he'll HAVE, for YOU, in any future you may have, together. Just a thought, Heavenly, from a MAN'S perspective.