Wannabe romance stuff (54)
online today!online today!rohaanCoos Bay, Oregon USA229 Threads 10,514 PostsHey anyone and everyone, I have recently met someone my age (a guy) and we just had our first coffee-in-person meeting. So far I think this could go somewhere, but I'd like to ask you a question or two and get your honest, durable opinions and such. (Please don't be goofy or nasty, etc....if you feel that way then just pass this up, if you will. Thanks) He did e-mail me this morning, and said he would like to come over, etc... but he did at one point in the letter say "looking forward to a platonic friendship"...now, I am already fairly sure that I would want romance, at least after awhile. Is the fact that he felt necessary to say the above like, a red flag for someone who really wants intimacy, or is it possibly just a protective device, etc...What do you think, and how should I proceed with this, if at all? I am wanting romance, I have scads and scads of "friends". Thank you from the center of my heart for your kind and thoughtful comments on this. 
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rohaan: Hey anyone and everyone, I have recently met someone my age (a guy) and we just had our first coffee-in-person meeting. So far I think this could go somewhere, but I'd like to ask you a question or two and get your honest, durable opinions and such. (Please don't be goofy or nasty, etc....if you feel that way then just pass this up, if you will. Thanks) He did e-mail me this morning, and said he would like to come over, etc... but he did at one point in the letter say "looking forward to a platonic friendship"...now, I am already fairly sure that I would want romance, at least after awhile. Is the fact that he felt necessary to say the above like, a red flag for someone who really wants intimacy, or is it possibly just a protective device, etc...What do you think, and how should I proceed with this, if at all? I am wanting romance, I have scads and scads of "friends". Thank you from the center of my heart for your kind and thoughtful comments on this.
Maybe he's shy? 
Maybe he doesn't want to commit himself before he meets you in person and see if you click?
Just go with the flow and see where it takes you..?
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Hi Rohaan 
I believe he said it to make clear what his intentions and expectations are...
Of course things may change with time, but they also may not...
The question is...Do you want to invest in a hope?
I believe he said it to make clear what his intentions and expectations are...
Of course things may change with time, but they also may not...
The question is...Do you want to invest in a hope?
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I would just let him know that you think he is someone you think is a nice man but I would be honest to him in regards to looking for a long-term relationship. Ask him what he truly meant by "platonic". Did he mean he wanted to get you better, or did he truly meant "platonic"?. If he truly meant platonic, I would just tell him in a nice way that you are wanting a relationship with someone and don't want to waste his time.
Good luck! Hope it works out for you.
Good luck! Hope it works out for you.
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Ro, I think he has made it very clear what he wants.
Unfortunately for you, it isn't what you want
Unfortunately for you, it isn't what you want
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rohaan: Hey anyone and everyone, I have recently met someone my age (a guy) and we just had our first coffee-in-person meeting. So far I think this could go somewhere, but I'd like to ask you a question or two and get your honest, durable opinions and such. (Please don't be goofy or nasty, etc....if you feel that way then just pass this up, if you will. Thanks) He did e-mail me this morning, and said he would like to come over, etc... but he did at one point in the letter say "looking forward to a platonic friendship"...now, I am already fairly sure that I would want romance, at least after awhile. Is the fact that he felt necessary to say the above like, a red flag for someone who really wants intimacy, or is it possibly just a protective device, etc...What do you think, and how should I proceed with this, if at all? I am wanting romance, I have scads and scads of "friends". Thank you from the center of my heart for your kind and thoughtful comments on this.
What you need is a big box of chocolates you'll feel less disappointed tomorrow.------ This thread is Archived ------
rohaan: Hey anyone and everyone, I have recently met someone my age (a guy) and we just had our first coffee-in-person meeting. So far I think this could go somewhere, but I'd like to ask you a question or two and get your honest, durable opinions and such. (Please don't be goofy or nasty, etc....if you feel that way then just pass this up, if you will. Thanks) He did e-mail me this morning, and said he would like to come over, etc... but he did at one point in the letter say "looking forward to a platonic friendship"...now, I am already fairly sure that I would want romance, at least after awhile. Is the fact that he felt necessary to say the above like, a red flag for someone who really wants intimacy, or is it possibly just a protective device, etc...What do you think, and how should I proceed with this, if at all? I am wanting romance, I have scads and scads of "friends". Thank you from the center of my heart for your kind and thoughtful comments on this.
let him go and find someone else interested in romance ------ This thread is Archived ------
rohaan: Hey anyone and everyone, I have recently met someone my age (a guy) and we just had our first coffee-in-person meeting. So far I think this could go somewhere, but I'd like to ask you a question or two and get your honest, durable opinions and such. (Please don't be goofy or nasty, etc....if you feel that way then just pass this up, if you will. Thanks) He did e-mail me this morning, and said he would like to come over, etc... but he did at one point in the letter say "looking forward to a platonic friendship"...now, I am already fairly sure that I would want romance, at least after awhile. Is the fact that he felt necessary to say the above like, a red flag for someone who really wants intimacy, or is it possibly just a protective device, etc...What do you think, and how should I proceed with this, if at all? I am wanting romance, I have scads and scads of "friends". Thank you from the center of my heart for your kind and thoughtful comments on this.
hiya rohaan,i know he didn't say what you wanted , but i think he has been clear about what he wants.
maybe it's time for you to focus on what you want?
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rushing things might scare him off, just take it easy for a while and see what happens.
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rohaan: Hey anyone and everyone, I have recently met someone my age (a guy) and we just had our first coffee-in-person meeting. So far I think this could go somewhere, but I'd like to ask you a question or two and get your honest, durable opinions and such. (Please don't be goofy or nasty, etc....if you feel that way then just pass this up, if you will. Thanks) He did e-mail me this morning, and said he would like to come over, etc... but he did at one point in the letter say "looking forward to a platonic friendship"...now, I am already fairly sure that I would want romance, at least after awhile. Is the fact that he felt necessary to say the above like, a red flag for someone who really wants intimacy, or is it possibly just a protective device, etc...What do you think, and how should I proceed with this, if at all? I am wanting romance, I have scads and scads of "friends". Thank you from the center of my heart for your kind and thoughtful comments on this.
Hi Ro!!!! That's awesome you've met someone, but I think I would be worried too about the platonic friendship quote. I hope you find your answer soon, some of the comments on here are quite good advice, I can't add anything to them. I am just here to root you on!!
Hugs sweetie!!
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Sounds like he made his intentions clear. I'd take what he said at face value and move on if you are looking for romance.
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rohaan: Hey anyone and everyone, I have recently met someone my age (a guy) and we just had our first coffee-in-person meeting. So far I think this could go somewhere, but I'd like to ask you a question or two and get your honest, durable opinions and such. (Please don't be goofy or nasty, etc....if you feel that way then just pass this up, if you will. Thanks) He did e-mail me this morning, and said he would like to come over, etc... but he did at one point in the letter say "looking forward to a platonic friendship"...now, I am already fairly sure that I would want romance, at least after awhile. Is the fact that he felt necessary to say the above like, a red flag for someone who really wants intimacy, or is it possibly just a protective device, etc...What do you think, and how should I proceed with this, if at all? I am wanting romance, I have scads and scads of "friends". Thank you from the center of my heart for your kind and thoughtful comments on this.
You should ask him to be clearer, what does he mean by platonic? Is it a careful approach, Is there growth potential from platonic to romantic relationship? Make it clear to him what your expectations are and await his response. you need some clarifacations from his part..Good luck Rohaan
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You want more, but he said platonic relationship so take it one step at a time, down the line it might just lead to something else, don’t force it
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I would believe that he meant what he said otherwise he wouldn't have brought it up....in doing so he has created a boundary that should be respected so its up to you whether you want to remain friends or let him know you were looking for a romantic relationship and move on.....
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Hi everybody--I can't thank all of you enough for your views. All were noteworthy. He did, in fact, e-mail this morning and was clear, so after I finish here (for a moment) I will e-mail back. Probably will take the advice to tell him we're not on the same page, then, and move on, not wanting to waste his or my time. It's probably a very good thing. However, I am really wanting a (romantic) relationship, so I won't give up. You are all so kind, and I know this may sound a tad maudlin, but over the years I've become "attached" to many of you, and for that I am grateful. I mean it, and you are so loved, as much as cyber - kindred-friends can be!! 
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footnote---After reading every comment, I went back to my e-mail and wrote this (and it's a done deal, so a little late if it sounds in any way "bad manners". I just wanted to be succinct, as well, and it did, I admit, irritate me that he felt compelled to reiterate the "platonic" rhetoric. Here's what I wrote back"
"After getting a "poll" of sorts from long-time friends from a computer social club, and I am taking the high percentage advice of them--I am going to let you go. We are not on the same page, and I don't have time to waste. Best, R"
"After getting a "poll" of sorts from long-time friends from a computer social club, and I am taking the high percentage advice of them--I am going to let you go. We are not on the same page, and I don't have time to waste. Best, R"
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rohaan: Hi everybody--I can't thank all of you enough for your views. All were noteworthy. He did, in fact, e-mail this morning and was clear, so after I finish here (for a moment) I will e-mail back. Probably will take the advice to tell him we're not on the same page, then, and move on, not wanting to waste his or my time. It's probably a very good thing. However, I am really wanting a (romantic) relationship, so I won't give up. You are all so kind, and I know this may sound a tad maudlin, but over the years I've become "attached" to many of you, and for that I am grateful. I mean it, and you are so loved, as much as cyber - kindred-friends can be!!
That seems wise Ro. You are spesh.
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rohaan: How far away is Ontario?
Get me a ticket for an airplane, etc......Thanks for putting a smile on my face--oh, and thanks for the lumber, too.
I was just being ho'mantic yanno.Get me a ticket for an airplane, etc......Thanks for putting a smile on my face--oh, and thanks for the lumber, too.
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BB_snickers: I was just being ho'mantic yanno.
Do I ever....nice to hear from you, really.
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rohaan: Do I ever....nice to hear from you, really.
Are we allowed to goof around now then? Has the goof ban been lifted?------ This thread is Archived ------
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Created: Apr 2019
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