Newest Humor Poems (1,865)

The snow in the middle of spring
How abnormal is it.
As if the day light cut
Into my night dream,
As if the cities are drowned
In a snowy road.
As if the happiness
Is stalled
And the earth is stopped.
What was it all?
Maybe the Moon
Felt madly in love
With the North Pole?

I was running in Majorca
at some indecent hour
when in the road
I came upon
the ghost of Chairman Mao

The acrylic shorted stalker
stopped me with a bow
I kneed him in the bollock zone
the ghost of Chairman Mao

He didn't take it kindly
a spectral sort of sour
then dropped me with a Kung Fu leap
the ghost of Chairman Mao

I hiked it down an alleyway
but with supernatural power
he relieved me of my running shorts
the ghost of Chairman Mao

So take it as a warning
as a warning take it now
its best to raise a platitude
if you meet the ghost of Chairman Mao

The Flying Dutchman glides on waves.
That image haunts me for many days,
It raises questions
And some quests work
Who is this strange wandering shade ?

Where is his harbor or his port?
Maybe he is reckless?
Maybe not.
Is he not too welcoming?
No, rather silent and strange .
Can he not come back ?
It doesn't matter anyway.
Is he a corvette,
Galleon, caravel or frigate?
Nobody knows it,
But yet I confess
He really exists
As a shade,
Drifting in my dreams

Come late, late in the evening
my candle burn down low
Come late, late in the evening
my candle burn down low
we all got peace back in the barnyard baby
the day you decided to go

I took your suitcase to the station
the train had two lights on behind
I took your suitcase to the station
the train had two lights on behind
both red and blue for you baby
'cos you're finally off my mind

to a five penny piece
I shrunk to the size
as life made me hard
in the head and eyes

so pressed ganged was I
on a leathery ship
that lived in a pocket
on the side of her hip

and life wasn't easy
and life wasn't hard
it was tough bedding down
neath a sharp credit card

a religious medal
and I became mates
and we sung drunken songs
in between great debates

I dated a quarter
but often she snoozed
we laughed at the condom
that never got used

she took us to parties
she lost us in clubs
she found us in drawers
she drank us in pubs

a lipstick for pillow
I smiled at the fates
my blanket a dollar
she got in the states

when the end came
it was cold.. hard and clean
that's how I got here
in this vending machine

cambridge on a sunny morn
a professor deep in thought
a quasi quantum quandary
his mind now overwrought

now the kernel of dilemma
the cause of his unease?
with fish and chips for dinner..
should I go with mushy peas?

symbiotic clarity
coupled with his fate
yet the "mushyness" of peas
was abhorrent to his plate

order over chaos
his findings quite profound
yet a theorist
must work backwards
to a premis pure and sound

he expressed it as a formula
elegant in tone
he wrote it on a post-it note
and hung it by the phone

twenty minutes later
his mobile broke the breeze
and a tired gruff glaswegian cried:
" I canna read Chinese!"

Well I'm in love with little April
but May just down the road
yeah I'm in love with little April
but May just down the road
pretty soon I'll be in to June
and the others don't need to know

It’s a black black night
Reflectors everywhere
To keep my path right
No moon and only two stars
Holding tight
It’s a black black night

It’s a black black night
Cane fires burning
Ironically is an amazing sight
Headlights beaming
Bitumen steaming
It’s a black black night

It’s a black black night
Radio’s dead
There’s music in my head
I can hear the words said
It’s hours to my bed
It’s a black black night

It’s a black black night
Peering eyes from roadside
White lines can not hide
Every noise multiplied
Eyes open wide
It’s a black black night

It’s a black black night
Driving miss daisy
Feeling kinda hazy
Don’t want to be lazy
I think I’m going crazy
It’s a black black night ........

Shakey needed out, out from the soft motor cul-de-sacs of the consoled.
18 and agile, he yearned to play the margin, walk the thin line.
Adopting the heady North Korean hairstyle of the self-assured he exited the leafy vanilla streets and joined the gaunt bus terminals of the fugitive.
Penning his travels, he became a one man poet of the moment delivering sonorous polyrhythmic exercises in moral decline from a leather attache case in the jazz basements of the avant-garde.
Too caustic to be urban chic, this enfant terrible of the leisure set came to the notice of Fancy Nancy, one-time darling of Eurocommunist sambuca parties, a veteran go-go girl of the atomic age.
Donning a neptune blue necktie a la Pierre Cardin, a licence for larceny in the swing set of the political elite, he toured with Fancy Nancy in a lizard suited carnival of the extreme. Public moral outrage circuited the exercise extraordinaire and the duo were consigned to a life of tortuous childcare, parent teacher encounters, and a passion for home entertainment system upgrades.