RE: Hug a tree.

Remember the words to this song?

"All the woman she want, is da big bamboo."

RE: Hug a tree.

She was a bit of a runaround.
She's probably got a few cucumbers on the side.

RE: Hug a tree.

I think it'll work.

My girlfriend had a foursome with me and two zucchinis.

I left her years ago; but I'm pretty sure she's still dating zuchinis.

RE: what are all the people that died doing now?

I gotta go check em out soon... I'm just waiting till a few more musicians go first.

RE: George Michael, passed away.

Number of records sold?

I haven't bought a record since the 70's.

I haven't bought any music in years.

I like a few George Michaels songs... but, I have Leon Russell on my hard drive.

Leon has enough music out there, that nobody needs to buy it. I never bought one of his songs.

I can find hours of Leon's music on Youtube...

I can't listen to George's few hits for that long.

RE: George Michael, passed away.

Number of records sold?

I haven't bought a record since the 70's.

I haven't bought any music in years.

I like a few George Michaels songs... but, I have Leon Russell on my hard drive.

Leon has enough music out there, that nobody needs to buy it.

I can find hours of Leon's music on Youtube...

I can't listen to George's few hits for that long.

RE: George Michael, passed away.

The last time I saw a reference to George Michaels in the media (before Dec. 25th) was in a movie last month, and (they didn't play anything by him.) the guy's girlfriend didn't like him.

RE: George Michael, passed away.

I like a few of George's songs; but I like everything I've ever heard Leon play and sing.

RE: George Michael, passed away.

You may be wrong about George Michaels being more popular around the world... I don't know everybody on earth.

But, the only person I've ever heard play a George Michaels cassette in my life had a crush on a girl named, "Faith."

I haven't heard anybody, play any of his songs since the 80's.

I don't remember hearing George on Hawaiian radio since the 80's either; but I heard Leon Russell a bunch of times since the 80's.

RE: Bad joke time

Did you hear the one about the 500 pound woman who had one breast removed...?

She had a mammary like an elephant.

RE: Bad joke time

At least he didn't take off his shoe, and bang it repeatedly on the table, at the U.N., in front of the whole world.

RE: George Michael, passed away.

When Leon Russell died, I listened for his music on the radio.

I listened for him to be remembered; but, I only heard one of his songs... on a 4 hour blues program, that I listen to every Saturday night!

RE: George Michael, passed away.

It doesn't matter to me if he was gay...

I was just pointing out, Leon Russell's death didn't get the same coverage, just because he wasn't gay.

Leon Russell was playing longer than David Bowie and George Michaels.

Leon Russell is remembered in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, for his talent.

If George Michael's gets in... it'll just be because he was gay.

RE: kid jokes requested.

Did you hear the one about the transvestite and the 4 year old boy in the public restroom where George Michaels was arrested?

RE: kid jokes requested.

A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says... Is this a joke?

RE: George Michael, passed away.

Leon Russell died too.... but he's not gay, so he didn't get many headlines.

RE: do you sleep in a double or single bed...?

I've been trying to get past page 10 of The Life of Pi for 6 months. I plan on returning it to my friend the next time I see him.

It doesn't sound like anything in your bed would interest me.

RE: do you sleep in a double or single bed...?

I have a big bed; but it's so full of books and musical instruments... 3 ukuleles, some harmonicas, a saxaphone, an attempt at homemade musical bones, music books, a few Bibles and a Greek interlinear, the Upanishads, Mahabharata, the Poetic Eddas, the Illiad, the Odessy, some college text books, a disgarded library book about Uranus (Did you know Uranus is aquamarine, and the soft blue color we see is from the presence of methane?), The Life of Pi, a pair of dice (for intention experiments), a deck of cards (for practicing 3 card Monty), and a bottle of homade apple, cinnamon, ghost pepper mead: it's like sleeping with a bed hog.

RE: Language skills and integration in a foreign country

I live on an island with people from all over the world.
Too understand one another they developed Pidgin English.
Pidgin English isn't just used on my island.
They speak Pidgin English all over the world, but Hawaiian Pidgin is probably one of the richest dialects, being mixed with Hawaiian, Portuguese, Filipino, Chinese, Japanese, and English which is also Pidgin language being mixed with Basque, German, Norweigen, French, etc.
It helps when you speak to somebody, to speak a language they understand... and learning Pidgin English opens your eyes to other cultures.
I'm glad I can speak English... If I want to talk to people who don't, that's on me.

RE: Typical and maybe not so typical New Years' Resolutions

Why make resolutions you know you won't keep, and feel bad about it?

I always resolve to take up smoking and drinking with renewed vigour.

I never keep my resolution; and, that never bothers me.

I used to buy a nice cigar and a bottle of Jack Daniels to celebrate New Years with.

I havent bought whiskey or a cigar in years.

This year... I'm gonna take up smoking and drinking with renewed vigour.

RE: Name the worst feeling you ever felt

There's no way I even want to think about my worst feeling.
When I had my first stroke, the right side of my body felt exactly like the mask posted on page 1.
When I had my second stroke, I fell down and and couldn't get up.
I called my doctor babbling. She told me I sounded like I had a demon, and hung up on me.
I don't know how long I was down; but when I got to the hospital, I had a ding on my ankle that was scabbed.

RE: Hug a tree.

Not if they check for bees...

RE: Hug a tree.

RLMFAO!!!!!

RE: Hug a tree.

Hug a pecan tree, and get a nut.

RE: Hug a tree.

A date palm?

RE: Hug a tree.

Gimme some sugar Magnolia.

RE: Hug a tree.

Can I put it in your ash?

RE: Hug a tree.

I'm pining away for an African tulip.

RE: Does God have your life story wrote down?

Most people who've chosen the right God... have chosen the wrong church.

Mark 7:7 & Acts 2:44-47

RE: Does God have your life story wrote down?

We spend our years as a tale that is told.
Psalm 90:9

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