After careful deliberation, I've made a decision... I've decided not to date for a while. I don't mean just this man, I mean any man. I need to concentrate on me & try to discover what I really want... what I'm really looking for. I don't want to get anyone tangled in anything anymore. Next time, I want to know if it's really there or not. I don't want to hurt anyone or lead anyone on. I've been on the receiving end of hurt way to often to do it to someone else. It's not pleasant on either side.
I seem to have a history of dragging out relationships because I couldn't make up my mind. Perhaps it is best to just let this go & grow from it. I wouldn't want to prolong it only to find that my initial reaction hadn't changed & waste his time & mine. And it'd be very easy to do so if we hadn't gotten along so extremely well before the actual meeting.
This I can say... even if you have strong feelings for someone you "cyber" meet, but haven't met in person (& I have before), don't put too much anticipation on the meeting. You may just get a totally different picture of the person. What we perceive to be so is not necessarily always so. It's something we set in our minds to make that magical fairytale we all want do badly. This is JMHO.
I just got a text from him, basically saying that he felt I was stand-offish. I think he could read my body language. And then he felt it by my not replying to him later. I honestly did fall asleep. Part of me wants to reply & tell him he's got it all wrong & that I'd like to try again. But the other part is saying maybe it's for the best. Boy, I sure do follow my sign of libra at times! So INDECISIVE!!
Very, very good & insightful advice, O! Thank you! I keep telling myself the same thing. Maybe his non-response is for the best, for the both of us. I just feel really bad about it all. I do hope he understands & forgives me. And I'd truly hope we could remain friends. I HATE ending things on a sour note... always have. It's just not my nature to be mean. But I'd really been anticipating meeting him! I was so excited, as was he. As I said, we'd talked at length about a lot of things. He saw past my mistakes & shortcomings & I did his. We 'clicked'... only to have it not go anywhere. I can't help but feel disappointed in myself. I feel shallow.
You remember the last guy I dated, T. On first sight with him, I wasn't knocked off my feet. But as we got to know each other better & kept the conversation going, I ended up falling for him. I keep wondering if this could happen with this one. But I'm not sure the spark is as bright with this one, physically.
I found myself looking around the room, thinking,"If I was to start a relationship with this man, would I stop looking elsewhere? Would I not be attracted to others?" I honestly couldn't answer that question.
I had told him to let me know he got home safely last night. When I got home, I fell right to sleep & missed about 5 texts & a phone call from him. In his last text, he didn't sound very happy. I texted him this morning & apologized, explaining that I'd fallen asleep. I've gotten no reply.
I've been conversing with a man via internet, text, & phone calls. We've connected on so many levels. We had very deep conversations & had the same opinion on many subjects. There was a definite connection & we both felt it. I felt myself really liking him even before we met.
We had our first real date last night. While we had a really nice time & great conversation, the physical spark wasn't extremely there for me. I really WANTED it to be, but have to admit... it was dim. I'm so upset & disappointed in myself. I've dated a quite a few men who made me weak at the knees, only to find that we didn't connect intellectually, spiritually, or some or many other ways. With this guy, everything was wonderful... until I met him face-to-face.
Am I giving up on Mr. Possibly Right if I don't try again? When do we say enough is enough & stop looking for the WHOLE picture? I feel like I've possibly closed the door on quite a few potential wonderful relationships for being so shallow. Have you ever run into this dilemma, & what do you do? Should you go for someone who doesn't really thrill you physically? I really need some advice here!
sweetowen Forum Posts (8,850)
Have I set the bar too high?
Not a chance!