I don't necessarily believe in the supernatural, but also don't disbelieve, there is so much about our brains we know nothing about, esp. for instance, that paranormal may well be an extension of our brain patterns, when it is disproved entirely then I may also, but until then I keep an open mind about most subjects.
Okay, Kitty, I don’t know you other than from some of your posts so although I have an opinion it is based very loosely on only that perspective, you appear to be a balanced and genuine person.
However, you are I think taking things somewhat too seriously,too deeply. IMO, you have exchanged a few emails and got to know someone to the point of actually speaking directly to them, that conversation ended abruptly, it happens, so move on, better that it happens on the first call and not 3 months down the road when real emotions and feelings have crept into the budding relationship.
Put it down to experience, learn from it, and just look at it as good rather than bad and has saved further heartache.
Never really talked about dress style when chatting with potental dates, as normally you only meet once you know you have a few things in common which usually carries over to the way you dress,but I did do a sharp exit when meeting one "lady" in a pub for the first time and she was in a pink shell suit
I'm sorry but that is a crazy analogy, lying means taking a conscious thought process and manipulating it to give a required result, we have total control over that thought process and can even change it mid sentence if we desire.
Breathing is a motor control from the brain, we have no control over it, to prove that please, hold your breath for 25 minutes, if you can then I will retract my post
I have just had a conversation with a friend about relationships failing, we both wondered why two people can successfully live together in a seeming perfect (ish) relationship for years, then they get married and bingo divorce pops up, what does that contract do that wrecks an otherwise good relationship?
Okay, lets put it another way, your wife is out with her mates and has a few to many, she gets a bit overfriendly with some guy and gets fondled, she then realises it is out of control and stops it. When you find out you are of course upset, she has broken your trust, However, if she agrees never to drink again in order that that scenario can never happen again could you not forgive, learn to re-trust and allow yourselves to continue with your otherwise happy life. No one is perfect, we all make indiscretions, but if you truly love someone then you must be able to forgive up to some point, if the person shows they really are sorry and shows they really will never repeat that indiscretion, then surely we as humans have the capacity to forgive and forget and move on with our lives.
Yes I see your point and would have to agree; maybe I misunderstood the OP as I thought he was referring to lying within a relationship in order to stay in that relationship or in being the cause of a relationship breaking up.
Can you really generalise like that, what about all the marriages that last 50 plus years, maybe they are the liars and that's how they stayed together so long, I think you could say there are many liars in the world and that in some cases it is lies that can cause a relationship to fall apart, but not everyone lies or pretends to be someone different.
I don't need to respect someone just to be able to say thank you or please, however, I do think it is a sign of disrespect if I don't say Thank You or please, Like you I learn thanks and please first in a new country, but when you listen to the locals, how many say “Une Cafe Per favour”, most just walk up and shout "Cafe or Macchiato" and nothing else, so I now make a point of always when ordering a drink/food to say please lol.
Spot on G, I attended a course two years ago run by some American outfit, it was supposed to be a motivational course, what a load of baloney! the women lecturer kept saying "Oh Well done" "Thats just so fantastic" etc etc when anyone answered a question, it was so false it became sickening and I left after the first morning session, when asked why I told them and was told no one had ever said that before and they were most surprised at my attitude. I then told them that at least they had motivated me to leave, they didn’t think that was funny lol. Real praise for a real effort is fine, OTT praise for mediocre work is false and instils a lack of trust IMO
Both my parents and my education taught me manners and respect, so I always endeavour to be polite and respectful in public, I pass this on to my children, here in Italy I find the kids show little respect, they always interrupt conversations and rarely say thank you or please, so maybe it is also a cultural thing
With me, I want firs the commitment first that is verbal and felt between two people. But I also want that piece of paper that goes that much further. It not only tells both of us that we are commited to each other, but it also tells the world that we are committed to each other. While you as a couple will know that this commitment is there, There are others who would see it that someone is not putting 100% commitment into the relationship. There are some who feel with out that paper that ring, They are still fair game. And while you may trust each other not to get mixed up into something like that. It is the fact that they were willing to have that paper that ring to let them know up front they are spoken for, that there heart really does belong to someone else.
Surely you are being involved with each other not passing friends or family approval or opinion, why care what they think, what is important is how you feel about each other. Infidelity occurs in or out of wedlock Then there is the leagle views to concider. there are a lot of times that with out that piece of paper you really are not considered to be that important to the other persons life. A man who has been committed to a women for a good while, has an accident, he is in the hospital dying. She loves him with all her heart, but they will not allow her in to see him, not even to say good bye. She has no say over what they do or not do for him. Even thought she knows his truest requests.
In Most countries (USA INCLUDED IN MOST STATES) a common law wife has equal rights to those that are married
That so called little piece of paper means so much more then people give it credit for. And the ones who view it as just paper, really have not thought everything out. Or they really do not want that much of a commitment after all.
The contact is just that a contact, it neither proves nor makes any greater commitment by either party, it is purely a social thing IMO.
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RE: Do You Believe?
I don't necessarily believe in the supernatural, but also don't disbelieve, there is so much about our brains we know nothing about, esp. for instance, that paranormal may well be an extension of our brain patterns, when it is disproved entirely then I may also, but until then I keep an open mind about most subjects.