smoky Forum Posts (9,412)

RE: meeting for all in austria january 07

Gee whiz... now I gotta decide between Malta and Austria... why you give me all these decisions to make! Austria... snow same as CH... Malta... hot humid beaches.... which one?

Tell you what... I go fly my broomstick, visit a few celestial buddies, check out the alignment of the planets, what is in conjunction with what, consult my almanac of travel, throw the bones, the rocks, the crystals, and generally just get the feel of this whole expedition, and I will get back to you as soon as I can about it, okay?

RE: A woman having her own Harem!

YOU CAN RUN
AND YOU CAN HIDE
BUT............
I IS A GOING TO BE
ALWAYS.........
A-L O N G S I D E .......!!!!!!


PS. The Gnomes are all in Austria, having a looong holiday with Uncle Wedward, the Dwarf of the Alps.

RE: Hello :-)

MALTA MALTA.. EVERYONE.... Welcome to NEW Malta Man. I always thought Malta was a small island somewhere..... howcome there so many people there?

Gipsy.... You left us! Now you want your face back? That is your punishment.. for making us all not sleep last night. You left us all alone, with only Wedward and Funoldie and Faceless Yammi Yammi... so for a little while you got NO FACE. Told you this was a weird site, huh?

RE: desert island

Ohhh okay, Food and Water.

In this case .. I would make sure I got:

My Cauldron (to cook in and make coffee)

20 Ltrs Cold Pressed Virgin Olive Oil (for cooking and tanning)

20 kg Good quality Coffee Beans (can always crush them between 2 rocks)

100Kg My favourite Tobacco ( I smoke... he didnt say how long this stay is...)(can roll them in dried Palm leaves)

HUGE box of Matches (1000's)

Knives, fishing hooks, and smaller pots can always be fashioned from bamboo, bones, etc.... so reckon I could survive with what I got. Maybe I find a Man Friday on the other side of the Island, huh?

PS. I'm very good at this survival stuff.... I come from Africa!

RE: desert island

OK Wedy, you started this, so I need some basic questions answered before I can make my plans.....#

What is the duration of my stay on this Desert Island?

What is classified as "Basic Food"? Does that include my stipulated requirements.... like enough Cold Pressed Virgin Olive Oil for my cooking and tanning oil? Good quality Coffee Beans? Fresh vegetables and fruit? and Cooking Utensils.... pot,pan,spatula,knife?

I need that information to plan my requirements to bring.
Or is this a shipwreck style survival?

I look forward to receiving your replies a.s.a.p. THANKS.

RE: Hello :-)

Hi Yo-Yo Girl, welcome to the most intellectual site you can ever imagine.... If you stick around and get to know these charming people... some are a bit crazy, and some are extremely sane, some are amusing, and some have excellent advice.. on all and every subject under the sun. We even have one person doing her Doctorate and we supply her with invaluable information towards her degree.

So... a heart and warm welcome from Sunny Switzerland..

RE: keeping fit

Yes Darl.... and if you look behind you.... I may just be lurking behind the doorpost too... scary huh? I am EVERYWHERE.... especially where I am needed! And sometimes even where I am NOT needed.


But you dont fool me Wedy... you just keep searching me out... and calling for Funoldie to hold your hand while you do your searching, cause you just plain old scared of me, huh?! You not quite sure about me, huh?!

RE: which 5 songs describe you most?

This Old House . Shakin'Stevens
Lets All Get High .. ? (who cares.. its lekker!)
C'mon over .. Shania Twain
I'm holding onto Love (to save my life) Shania Twain
Amazing Grace .. whoever sings it, its good for the soul.

RE: What annoys you most about the forum threads?

Im still waaaaaaaiiiiiiiittttttiiiiiinnnnnnggggggg !!!!!!

WOTS THE SURPRISE? That I interpret your story for you?

THATS the surprise??????

Have you tried "Poached Eggs a'la Russia"? yet....?

RE: keeping fit

Give the Undertaker a thrill.....!!!!?

RE: a true storyMaybe

Oooohhhhh! YAWN! I thought it was too good to be true.... If I just agreed with him, he would simply be grateful, and go away!
Now he wants ME to tell HIM why the stupid story is true! This is worse than dealing with 6yr old grand-daughter when she wont go to bed!

Okay.. first of all, because You are the Dwarf on the Mountain. And since I got you hooked on these things you now believe implicitly in all these goblins and elves and witches and things. And you have them all in your castle up there in the Austrian Alps. Okay?
Obviously... your form of transport is fondly called, by yourself, "Lenzibald"... and you so lonely you inviting the whole Forum to come visit you, and you will fetch them all from the railway station in Lenzibald.... probably one of those ancient old flat-bed trucks that splutter, choke and jerk along with missing cylinders, and puffs of black smoke coming out the broken exhaust pipe that roars like a V8, and doesnt go over 20kmh. Probably lots of rattling noises caused by the doors being tied on with wire, and the loose chicken crates permanently wired to the cab roof.
The breathing fire part of Lenzibald must be why the flat-bed part of the back of the truck is covered in sand? To put out the fires caused by the broken exhaust? And you expect to transport your guests all around your backyard, thru the squawking chickens, etc, over the "mountains" of compost for the vegetable gardens, and expect them to wait eventually so that you can rush into your castle and come rushing out again dressed in your "Rapunzel" outfit (see? new character part) to officially welcome your guests.

Except, Wedy Darl, Rapunzel, as Funoldie has already pointed out to you.... is a WOMAN. Oh, I get it now..... and I hope Princess is reading this..... you are now in Drag!!! Okay, we will go along with this... you are now in Drag... as Rapunzel, and you welcome us all into your castle. Where you will place us all at the long wooden table, and serve us Bread and Butter Pudding. And because you just such a good cook, the pudding will be delicious, and we will all be happy, and you will be happy, and then we can all go home. But for the return trip to the station.... may we please call a cab?

Is that the story Wedward? I have got it right, havent I? Now .. tomorrow morning.... try Poaching your eggs in Vodka, okay? Thats realy nice, and you will feel SO STRONG .

RE: a true storyMaybe

Oh, of course its TRUE!!

RE: What annoys you most about the forum threads?

Ah, my dear man... You have just POTED smoky history on cs? Have you? Now... be so kind as to decipher that for me. What is Poted?

RE: 3 wishes

Darlin.... Da broom she is for da nightime! Da Ferarri.. she for da daytime.... for grooovin' round dem shoppin' centres.

RE: a true storyMaybe

Oh Lordy lordy..... it aint his cornflakes hims been a smokin' ... is it?

RE: Is your partner marriage material?

I would suggest..... MARRY HIM! Only then will you know if he is Mr Right. Thats how I test them. But then I got an advantage here.... my uncle is the Best Divorce Lawyer... thats how I get to retire to live in Switzerland!!!!

I am only joking... a good one huh?! But seriously... Mr Right always look right, until you marry him.

But, I am the eternal optimist.... there must be REAL MAN out there somewhere, who is honest, trustworthy, genuine, and can dance. If there is... I'm gonna find him.

RE: hi

Yars dear, and while you were sleeping.. the coven took you for a ride on the communal broom-stick. It is known to cause body-aches in the un-initiated, and they all felt you deserved it, for the disrespect shown to small innocent creatures. And another thing that happens, and this happens only to artists who paint.... that they begin to muck around with finished works of art, forget what palette they used.... and end up re-painting the ENTIRE painting! and then it does not resemble what it used to resemble.... and if you not realy realy careful.... you may continue to do this with your entire collection.... and so, instead of amassing a collection, you end up re-painting the entire collection.... and this could go on for years and years, with you trying to get the original palette correct. So now, my dear, as a token of goodwill to you... I would suggest you go outside, take off your shoes, find an ant, give it a message of apology to forward to the little people you have offended, and hope that it does not get mis-interpreted on its journey to the intended recipents. Do not blame me if you dont get this right.. I am only trying to help you so you dont have to spend your next few years going over all your paintings, and also that we are not encumbered with your sleeping body again when we feel like going for a mid-night joll on our broomsticks. Good luck Wedy.

RE: its quiz time

Oh Lordy Lordy..... what are these two guys on about? Anyone out there know what they trying to say to each other?



I think he's smoking his corn-flakes... You supposed to go out, milk your cow, then pour the milk over them cornflakes, and eat them with a spoon Wedy. Then get out your set of Encyclopedias, and pose REAL questions.. so KK (thought he was supposed to be Funoldie?) has something REAL to answer.... assuming he has the same set of Encyclopedias. Have fun guys.... its later than you think!

RE: What annoys you most about the forum threads?

RE: fear- of getting it wrong again

Well I reckon.... You never know if you doing the right thing anyway, so unless you do it, you never going to know if you were right or wrong. And whats so wrong with being wrong? Its just as valid as being right, huh?

RE: 3 wishes

supreme wisdom

supreme health

pink ferrari

RE: Five Letters, One Sentence Game

Have Woman To Last Forever



SKUNK

RE: why a name

Okay now we being serious.

Long time ago... babies had no names.... until they began to show their particular talents... and then the village held a "name ceremony"... and the appropriate name was bestowed on that person.

So eventually names like.... "He who breaks spear", "She who spills water", "He who wears pointy hat", etc.... simply became, over Centuries remember.... simple names. Like Pamela, Steven, Rosemary, etc. And now, if you pay attention to peoples names, you will notice that certain names carry certain personality traits..... even now, centuries later. And all names still have ancient meanings and tend towards certain professions, or personality types.

Benjamin ... is usually a very big person, very capable. The meaning is "Son of his fathers right hand". In Isizulu of Africa that name would be "Vusimusi" meaning "son who rebuilds his father's house". African tribal names have these long meanings, and the european equivalent have the same meanings.... with no visible connecting translations! People become their names.

Moral of this story is.... be very particular when naming your children.... if you have desires for their future.

RE: Five Letters, One Sentence Game

I Want To See Forever


POONE

RE: keeping fit

I can identify with BBB here.... At 43 I was a fat slobby housewife with no figure worth mentioning, and no stamina to do anything other than housework and gardening.

Then I took up Ballroom and Latin American dancing.. 2 dance lessons a week of 1hr each with 2hr practice afterwards. Three practice sessions a week of 4hrs each. Then to improve general stamina I took up running...6km's x 3times a week, and on Sundays a 10km run. At 50 I became a total Vegan ... for a trial period of 6months, then lapsed back to normal vegetarian. During that Vegan period I was able to run, non-stop, for 20km's. I felt I could have qualified to run the Comrades Marathon of 98km! My health improved startlingly... eyes became whiter, skin glowed, muscle tone improved incredibly.

The only problem with being a complete Vegan is that the smell of cooking food is nauseating! And b'b'que meat smells like roasting Human flesh (I smelt that once at a road accident... its the same as the meat we eat).

I also discovered how addicted we are to what we think is "normal" food.... bread, butter, fried chips, salt,things made with dough, sugar, etc.

On a raw diet, the body feels LIGHT, and running is effortless, energy boundless. Its just SO HARD TO PERSEVERE. And friends become alienated because they feel unable to cater for dinners and functions should they want to invite you. And eating out becomes a problem.... and slowly one is seduced back into the "normal" ways.

But one thing for sure.... the body needs to sweat and the heart needs to pump... it needs strenuous excercise at least 3 timeds a week.... so very difficult to discipline oneself.

RE: christmas and new year

Humour is not your forte Wedy.... stick to cooking. And you overdoing the emoticons.... you've used up your entire years allocation so far. So no more emoticons! The owners of the Forum have asked me to pass on that information to you, they dont want to upset you... but realise that you dont mind being pissed off with me. Three (3) is the limit... it says so at the top and bottom of the page. You are over-indulging yourself, at everyone else's expense... and just now they will all be removed and we will have no more emoticons to express our un-expressable emotions. And then you going to have to learn how to write your emotions, and THAT may cause you Traumus Maximus. See? Only three (3) (Trio)(Triple)(Drei)(Treble).

RE: christmas and new year

Okay! And it will be dedicated to "Wedy who lives in the Alps of Austria"........harboring refugees and feeding them all his stale bread in the form of Bread and Butter Pudding.

RE: why a name

Geeez you dont know how relieved I am to hear that you talk okay! I was wondering how you manage face to face communication.....So thats okay huh? Actually, with a keyboard all gummed up with paint, you realy managing very well. We appreciate you.

RE: its quiz time

All the girls are staying silent on this one..... they all giving you guys the opportunity to admit defeat.!!!!!!!!

The answer is just SO obvious!

Clue: He flies a Sea-plane................?

RE: hi

Mifidonite, Greetings. That is dangerous question for Wedy.... you see the mood he is in today? Its all Gnomes Gnomes Gnomes... and their hats.... so I would avoid any questions to him at the moment about anything to do with his head (the one that houses what to him is his brain). He has just finished another masterpiece of painting, and Artists are reknowned for being extremely sensitive at this time.... We do not want him cutting off one of his ears or something!... his typing is bad enough, without him not being able to hear as well.
And what makes matters even worse is that he has now shanghaid the only other eligible bachelor of my age on this site... and converted him into a Gnome Fanatic, so the two of them play by themselves now when they go to the park to get out of us normal members way while we deal with more serious matters concerning the Universe.
Do you think maybe his brainwashing of Funoldie is because he is jealous that Funoldie is more Fun than him? and that he is going to lose me, and have no-one to annoy anymore?