Letting Out Winds.
Burping is very much like farting. The main difference between a burp and a fart is the point of exit. Then why is burping more acceptable than farting? When both are biological functions that we sometimes have very little control over.You can sit at the dinner table, in a restaurant or in church. If you want to burp, simply put your hand on front of your mouth and let it out – look up smiling and say ‘Excuse me’ softly and no further ado. Burping is ok. In fact, in some countries your host would be very offended if you don’t burp aloud several times!
Try farting in the same situation. The place will suddenly go very quiet; some will be disgusted, some will look away, some will blush, some will giggle and others will laugh openly – no matter how nice you smile or where you put your hand. Farting is out! Oops, a slip of the tongue. Farts must be kept in! So you better stay in too!
All this, while many defence forces have a regulation that farting is not rude. Ask me; it happened to me. A soldier stood there in front of me forcing it out and all I could do was to send him to the toilet. He came back doing exactly the same thing. In the end I nailed him for looking me in the eyes. Now that is a cardinal offence. Utter disrespect! To think that before I went to the army, I though it was the right thing to do.
Farting is a very personal thing and it reveals our personality. If somebody farts aloud in public with a grin on his face, some people would dub him as a pig, but it is not so. This is a sure sign of an extrovert!
Do you recognise yourself?
An introvert locks himself into his bedroom and fart in privacy.
A shy person blushes when he farts; even when he is alone.
A competitive person tries to fart louder than others.
A confident person thinks his fart does not smell.
A pessimist sits on the toilet to fart.
An optimist often finds lumps in it.
An egoist likes to smell his own fart.
An arrogant person blames the dog when he farts.
A discreet person always farts silently.
A devious person looks around when he farts.
A vindictive person blames somebody else when he farts.
A conceited person thinks his fart smells good.
The list is endless, but to conclude for today; let’s put paid to another false rumour. It is not just men who fart!
So stay loose and don’t keep it in!
Comments (62)
How are you Life? Did you have a good week?
Hmm, getting a habit now!, but leave it for a while, the other one is stuck on the other page. I'll remove it when the page is full
Enough clips no thanks, but no thank you!
They are funny!
I put on gas mask or you already aired the premises?
Fancy meeting you here! What coincidnce!
How is Fot?
All clear now on the western front. All fans blowing at full speed.
YOU SENT ME TO THE WEST CAT?
NO ONE ELSE AND NEVER SENT ME TO THE WEST CAT!
Carefully CAT...
Do you still know me bad...
I always do the impossible Proposition.
For example:
CAT,
you want be last of?
I know there are many ways to skin a cat, but a cat has nine lifes!
and not whip snakes...
Ahaaaa...became terrible...
At another blog I see you write 'Dios mio!'
Is it Spanish?
What does it mean?
My God?
Im in SCOUSE blog
its bad...
So to come back to your last offer; is that the best you can do?
Have mercy.
I and my English and my translator -
we are all confused...
Do not know how to understand you ...
It has to do with my suggestion?
Do you not speak English? Sorry, I did not know. I speak too cryptic for a translator to understand me properly. I will try to talk straight from now on.
Thank you CAT!
You had no idea about what I'm talking through Google translator?
For me it's a great compliment...
Because if you're only able to see that it takes me
Would you laughed and wondered why people are so stupid that
But now you see what I'm smart... lol
I manage Google translator! ! !
lol lol lol lol ........................
Sometimes I did not understand your comments at all. But it all makes sense now.
I use too much wordplay and speak too cryptic and use too many idioms, which the translator do not understand. Then it gives you a wrong message to react to. Forgive me, I did not know.
Do you speak no Englist at all?
I can communicate with people at the everyday level
but writing ... oh ... no ...
It needs a translator.
I speak 5 languages...
but ... alas ... English is the worst of all...
It is such a pity I did not know this earlier, but I think we will understand each other better in future.
A lot of humour would be lost, but then I believe it was lost in any way; translators don't understand word play (puns) and sarcasm which I use extensively in my writing.
But now I will have the courage to tell you when I don’t understand. Do you remember how long it took me to catch on that it was Ummka’s birthday? You had to spell it out first. And she left me the clue too! I simply did not understand
I now suspect that she has the same problem.
Have a wonderful day!