Making Perfect Children
I have a bit of a headache this morning. I think there was something wrong with the fish. Or maybe it was the red tide that hit me when the cork came out that last bottle.
But I don’t want to talk about that today. I want to talk about making perfect children. 
I’m sure that you would have noticed that all children do not have the same good looks. And, let’s face it, not all children have the same brain capacity. Some are brighter than others. Children are born with varying degrees of these two qualities, but it is seldom that you will get an exceptionally good-looking child that is exceptionally gifted with brains as well.
Although a less than well shaped nose or ill proportioned ears does not make your child less loveable, we do want our children to be perfect. But that is just my humble opinion.
Some people may believe that that is just the way nature deals the cards, but it is not the case. You do have control over that. You can make it happen. And I’ll share that secret with you today.
You ladies must listen carefully now; this concerns you.
Pick a night when you know that nobody will call at your house. Then remake your bed, using only the best satin sheets. Run a full bath of water and add all those fragrant oils and salts that you like so much in there. Stay in that bath for as long as you can. Then dab yourself dry; never rub. Pour two glasses of champagne and get into bed alone. Then finally, pick up your cell phone and call me.
Of course there is no guarantee that you will conceive the first time, but I will be more than willing to try a few more times without an additional fee.
Enjoy the day and may your children be very good-looking and brainy as well.
PS
I know some of you ladies are very shy about these things, so if you want to comply simply leave a message saying 'Very amusing'.
Comments (54)
The right guy, but sorry; no cigar. Wrong song!
this is the one I had in mind!
Thank you for sharing the secret
by the way enjoy your rugby match
I am waiting for Barcelona vs Real Madrid in 1 and a half hours later
Have a wonderful day
This time it's neither the fish nor the cork that's going to cause a headache. I have a feeling the game is going to be responsible for that. When Province wins you have to drink, when the Sharks win you want to drink. My glass is going to be raised on the latter not the former. Cheers!
ps: I will eat humble shark pie if...
I don't think there's a such thing as a perfect child or anyone for this matter.
Next time, better luck! I was kidding about the drinking.
Yay! Sharkies!
Lekker man, lekker!
The Sharks outplayed them in every aspect, though Province surprised me in the scrums. When I saw their faces hanging after that first intercept try I knew it was only a matter of time. They were not motivated at all.
But as I said, I won't cry too much!
Don't rub salt into new injuries.
I wish I could blame it to black magic or a bad ref. Province just played lousy. They are lucky not to have lost further!
you know, some people blame the refs, some blame the injuries... but very few blame themselves...
just keep posting and enjoy it everyday, my friend.
life is full of "surprises". i got one "surprise" last month, and my decision is to enjoy everyday of my life.
Yes, life is too short to worry about who drinks champagne out the Curry Cup. I wonder if the late Sir Donald knew what he started when he donated that trophy to SA Rugby.