The Land Of Milk And Honey
Welcome to the new South Africa. No visas are required if you are prepared to swim across the rivers when entering from Namibia, Botswana, Zimbabwe or Mozambique.
Of course there are the crocodiles guarding our northern borders but they are getting so fat and are so busy, they take only one in twenty lately. Not that they catch less people; they can afford to be more selective these days. In fact they have now overtaken the hippopotamus as biggest human killer (after man) in SA. But then nothing worth the while comes easy.
Government is going out their way to create more and better jobs for the fast growing population of South Africa. As you will see in the next photograph.
Then, if you are an entrepreneur, why not cash in on one of the countless Nigerian retail franchises in drugs, arms, alcohol, cigarettes, prostitution, used car parts, DVDs and many other previously illegal activities.
Of course your income tax will have to be paid to the local police force, as demanded from time to time. But then everybody has to pay tax.
Lastly, if you were in jail before and are capable of producing unrealistic promises and flimsy excuses, there is the opportunity to join the gravy train.
No previous experience is required. The salary in a political career is highly exceeded by the fringe benefits. These include access to government funds, pension funds and even donations from overseas. Free holidays abroad are just part of the package. If you can pilfer enough you may even be taken up in the cabinet.
But don’t delay; this is a country of equal opportunities and if you snooze you will lose. There are many others who will scoop up the rewards right under your nose. Remember the early bird catches the worm.
Yes, hurry; for all good things come to an end. At some stage the cows and the bees won’t come home.
Comments (31)
Why not rather a vienna gatsby?
They queue up in France to come over here but we are flooded out
Swam out to do shopping cat but only got bottle beer and tonic water ready for to-night could not carry much more in my mouth
It is a good Menu.
Vienna Gatsby, Russian Gatsby, Steak Gatsby, Fish Gatsby, Vegetarian Gatsby, Chicken Gatsby, you name it.
A Gatsby for every event. All part of the fringe benefits if you can eat it inside the supermarket.
You have similar problems? Introduce some sharks to the English Channel. Guess the water is too cold. Makes them lazy and inactive. The sharks that is.
Yes, but it keeps the unemployment figure down.
Whoever told you that is absolutely correct. For a big-mouthed person you don't really have a big mouth at all.
As far has I can recall South Africa was Always a Troubled Land.
South Africa was born out of troubles,and these troubles are very
mmuch alive in S.A. today.
Have we ask our-slefes ,what kind of relationship South Africa have had with Namiba Botswana Mozambique in the past,
Have we for gotten the deity wars in these lands where S.A. had a helping hand in.
Back to the persent, what kind of realtionship S.A.or the ANC have with Namiba Botswana and Mozambique now?
Malema=EFF says Zuma is building swimming pools
yet no one likes the name Land reform,
From what I see there are all kinds of S.A.
The white people that have build a wall around them slefes
The ANC is a rich black peoples club.
The EFF FOR the man in the street and people without land.
Bye!
Bye!
Let's cut the politics now. This is just my warped sense of humor looking at a problem that everybody seems to miss.
Safest to talk about the weather.
I don't want this blog to became a political showpiece. Let's forget about that.
I was just mocking with our politicians who are too busy enriching themselves to look at our real problems. We have more unemployed than employed yet they do nothing stem the tide of illegal immigrants.
But just a correction:
The whites do not have walls around them; we are not allowed to put up structures without approval.
And it is a fact: The crocks are having a ball.
Cat good morning, my friend. This is truly a very hilarious blog which is what I just need right now.
Thank you so much for the read and I mean it from the bottom of my heart.
SR
Thank you again.
SR
Yes, funny but true. The picture contains more truth than what meets the eye. The Zimbabweans are being hired more and more for their willingness to work. Quite hard working fellas compared to the bulk of the SA population.
The picture is so hilarious Cat. But loving it just the same.
Wonder how many have this new concept? Of work I mean? In uniforms, too, mind you?
Love it Cat..
It is amazing how these things can get around. And I guess we can apply them to most countries.
Yes, safety regulations had becomes a big issue in SA over the last thirty years. Safety officers wield a heavy axe in this country.
Talking about the weather is very neutral as long as you're not trying to predict it. I has an uncanny ability to make a liar out of a person.
Our rivers are not navigable. Our helicopter will only fly when the pilot is not off sick and we don't have any drone technology. The crocodile hit rate of 1 in 20 is still the most reliable.
Milking the machine?