relationships and our frustrations
Let's be honest here. Who doesn't want a perfect relationship? Meaning no fighting, bickering, complaining. Just sweet, joyful and lovely?Is it possible? Of course not. In the real sense, once in a while, yes. But for as long as we're human living in an imperfect world with our flawed partners, chances are, there's more challenging and sometimes more difficult wringing of our nerves, poking our minds and hurting our hearts.
Relationship is a journey of constant testing. We're like creatures swimming in a pool of turbid water, searching for the clear path so the light can come in.
But that's the way it is, in our mission to find that light, we should keep our heads settled firmly above our shoulders and think of it as our way to live embracing every moment with gusto and enthusiasm, instead of bitterness and criticism.
It's our life. Only us can accept and or change. Blaming and pointing fingers will never improve nor enlighten us. If anything it will ruin us.
So before we say anything derogatory of hurtful, we must stop and hold it inside until we calm down.
Breath deep and picture our love towards each other like flowers blooming amidst the sun and rain. Which sometimes in a split second can be a matter of dark storms, brutal gales and killer typhoons. After which the sun comes back again, and again.
At the end of the day, there's us, together, living this difficult and challenging life. But on top of everything, it's a beautiful, interesting and wonderful life.
Wouldn't you agree? Grow up and face the music. Don't you ever tell me I'm complicated and a liar. In reality, we can all be, if we choose to. I don't.
Thanks all for your reads and comments.
Comments (51)
Easy to preach but very difficult to practice this my friend.......
There is a saying: When you get upset and want to react/respond, hold your breath and count to ten. Then exhale. It seems to make the moment pass. I have tried it and it works for me. That doesn't mean that I never get mad but for spur of the moment reactions, it seems to work. JMO.
The result is better when we calm down first and address it later.
Sometimes people get frustrated and it is too easy to be critical...taking a deep breath and counting to ten may help prevent some outbursts of negativity...black humour is my way of dealing with difficult people...if we all agreed with each other, it would be a boring life!!...respecting our differences is key...no need to be hateful!!
I have had the experience of this precarious situation of flawed partners. And as you have pointed, there was all that drama..poking our minds and hurting our hearts..It persisted for 1-4 years...display of mutual hostility...then an idea struck my mind...if I retreat. And I actually did, leaving the ground for the single player. Now she came with an interesting complaint, why don't you fight with me? The episode was over.
Yes acceptance and a certain amount of tolerance are key ingredients. And perhaps working together willingly to bridge our differences.
So it's important to be positive towards amicable settlement of disputes. We're complex and beyond normal most of the time, that's why we have to give a try before the commitment. We NEED to find someone that is compatible to us.
Of course it's a hard work but for as long as love is the underlying motives of our relationship, I'm sure we can work it out.
as long as love is the underlying motives of our relationship
I believe we're more emotive than reasonable, but when we become volatile, logic seeps deep and therefore all that we do then becomes regrettable.
But you know what's best for you.
I can't pretend to agree. Allow me to make use of a metaphor. Butter is not the outcome of the consistency of milk. It has to undergo a process.
In my past, when ever a hostile moment came up,(in a relationship) I tried to think of worse situation I was in, to make the present moment seem mild, and in my mind I would say to myself we ll get this worked out.One of my mottos in life, ( try and find a bright side to every situation), make a bad situation a learning experience. I have MS, and its given me a different perpective on things. Having a disability is trying on relationships, but it has given me an appreciation for friends. A person has to be flexible on the way they handle different situations. Some people are stubborn.
Nice to read you. If it's difficult for people who are free from the burden of physical disability and illness, I do understand and feel you. But your courage iz commendable I've not absolutely inspiring.
Thanks my friend.
I , by virtue of my disposition, don't follow any "osho" inclusive. I take him to be a guide, more friendly than a Guru. I mean 'osho' can well be a handicap if I cling.
Thanks bro...
Thanks.
Absolutely and for the same reason he was killed. How sad! But it was to be.
That suits them.
Thanks my friend.
Keep them stupid and inferior and they will coil to power. Helpless and useless.
Karna says:
"My friend, you are fighting this war for the throne. Arjuna is fighting for Dharma, for Indrapratha, for Panchali. But what am I fighting for? I am fighting for my glory. Yes, we are participating in the same war but the reasons are different. I will not gain or lose anything, no matter which side wins. But I am not ready to lose my glory, I will not let history point fingers towards me saying that I was a “Coward”. Hastinapur’s throne is important to you, I am aware of that. But my friend, learn to respect the reason and cause of your peers. We are all fighting our own wars and I am the loneliest warrior here after Bheesma, fighting for nothing.”
In fairness, I didn't have any real fights in my long-term relationships. Only at the end, when we broke up there was fighting, but not really before in all the years we were together.
This will determine our absolute acceptance of who we are and how compatible we are.
Fighting for the good reasons and for the right time is not bad at all. I read that somewhere, but fighting to learn and improvements of our relationship is the key.