Origin of man, the truth
After a few minutes if in depth research the origin of modern man is clear, we have been lied to by fake history since history was invented.My hypothesis is that an alien race visited our planet during the Neolithic era, The aliens were supposed to observe our cave men (and women) but a few had got the horn after watching the pure animal lust taking place in the caves and took advantage by basically raping our ancestors.
This was not a bad thing as we began to evolve, walk upright and talk using proper words, most of our body hair fell off and we began capturing wild grass’s to make healthy cereals and rice to accompany our curries. Caves were decorated with Xmas trees and we became quite nice for a while until part of our DNA (The wild and arrogant bit) took over and we became utter twats and quite nasty to each other.
All signs indicate that these alien rapists are returning soon, some say it’s to say sorry, some say it’s because human women are probably much better than the alien women, regardless of why they are returning, they are and we should really be on our best behavior when they do.
Should our Neanderthal ancestors have been left alone, or did the aliens do us a massive favor?
Image from the Ugg family photo Album.
Comments (85)
Be afraid be very afraid
Imagine being probed by this
By the neolithic times, our ancestors were not only walking upright and talking, but they were also farming, developing animal husbandry and building astronomically- accurate buildings such as Newgrange and Stonehenge, The Ness of Brodgar, amongst others.
They had parties that would put ours to shame. In one Orcadian party, they killed 400 cattle for the occasion.
You think this was possibly to greet your aliens?
It was not aliens did the probing at Newgrange
We keep our probings within the clan
Hope someone else joins me there soon.. makes for some good times from my past experience..
France has a very interesting range.
Africa is pretty sparce in all things phallic unfortunately.
Rough, That sound horrible, I can picture the caves now, doilies on the back of the Rock-Z-Boy chairs etc.
I think we would have progressed well as places like Ikea were first opened during that period. Man and woman would have existed in harmony, each seeing value in each other and civility would be achieved.
Like Ikea, it was more for practical purposes than comfort
Moses reading one of the tables
But although I am not a qualified psychiatrist, I still feel qualified enough to give a resounding yes to the latter.
I took an online test and it said I was just a bit quirky and not a full blown mad man.
Map and Rough have booked a double room, and stuck me in a single room next door...with paper thin walls