Pretentious people
I'm not going to elaborate what an unpleasant and irritating experience it is to be around pretentious people.The worst part is that they think you believe their charade.
Well do you know how to say it without being too obnoxious that you know they are liars?
Note: I personally cut off those kinds of people. Avoid them like plague. No explanation or inviting a pose for apologies.
We're going to attend a wedding in Hawaii and it's a family thing. Now I heard from my cousin whose the bride's mother that this person whom I can't stand around me is also a god mother meaning we'll be in the same table, etc etc.
(She once asked my children why we've become cold with them but she clamped and said nothing, acted innocent and being polite). I'm actually thinking of either tell her about her lies or cancel my attendance, either one is a difficult decision.
What would you do?
Thanks all for your read or comments.
Comments (38)
Which is more better being supportive to a family member in a holy union or letting your ego get the best of you?
As a customer service rep I was taught to be professional, meaning putting away self as soon as I'm with a customer. My main objective is to ensure the customer has a good experience.
What's your objective is it ensuring that the family has a good experience that is suppose to Bring joy and happiness at a moment that is suppose to be special or to fulfill your urges?
I'm sure in your field you have to put self aside many times, this is the time to do so to ensure the happiness of those we love.
I expect better from you, the day should end in peace...
She can take it up with her a day after or let things go...that is not the place for a feud...
Being sarcastic doesn't suit you, lol.
I read that part..
Or if you are that uncomfortable to be around that person then don't go.
I don't think we can change the world. We can have pretentious relatives, then it gets harder.
I really think that you should go. Most pretentious people are not happy. Think about it. If you are happy and content with your life you will not interfere in others affairs, nor try to cause discord or gossip.
So, perhaps instead of loathing this person, it would be more productive for you to pity them. They are not mature and obviously not happy. Alot of pretence comes from Fear, disliking who they are, myriad of reasons.
Don't judge, go in peace. Avoid the person if they are toxic but sometimes a smile will make you feel better than lowering yourself to address the nastiness. You won't get anywhere and will come home feeling bad.
Rise above the nastiness. You are more than that Lindsay. I wish you the best.
come on Prof, if she approach this lady in a nice way, I'm sure they can work it out. This event is not about them, this about those two people getting married so either they forget their differences and fake smiles or they both can stay home...or like I said if won't be so bad, they can talk and perhaps this is the right time to make up....life is too short to hold any grudges
Based on the person I've seen on the blogs Miss Jones is a nonsense person and she has a very strong personality. Should this lady make a mistake by saying something that seems to contradicts her action then Miss Jones is going to pickup on it and then all could go down hill.
I realise this lady must have done her wrong hence the reason she feels so strongly about it but timing and place need to be taken into consideration.
You might know what you are going to say but you'll never know what the next person will say.
I understand. But these are relatives who are judged by their demeanor, arrogance and self centeredness .
I'm not the only one who feels this way and that's why I avoid them as well as the others.
While I don't hold grudges, it doesn't mean I don't avoid unpleasant people.
But you're right, for the sake of the family values, I will concede to an overrated professionalism and smile.
Thanks Pro.
I was merry and mingled and avoided the person. I could ask questions but as you just said, these people know how to push ones buttons and being human, we respond, or walk away terribly upset. A no win situation.
Rising above these people is usually the best way of dealing with it.
If course she'll be so busy telling everyone about her children in the up and up, making so much money, driving nercedez, beamer and land Rovers.
Lol I feel like there's hint of jealousy there. Not at all. Just annoying and irritating because of her bragging expertise.
But you're right I'll have fun.
If course she'll be so busy telling everyone about her children in the up and up, making so much money, driving nercedez, beamer and land Rovers.
Lol I feel like there's hint of jealousy there. Not at all. Just annoying and irritating because of her bragging expertise.
But you're right I'll have fun.
Lol but I won't cancel, it's far more important for me to let the bride know that we're in for a commitment that serves for the family unity.
Wedding is a big deal for us, as I'm sure it's for everyone but being a member of a huge clan, the reveries, fun and swimming in hot Hawaii.
But like CH, said, I will not pay attention to her.
Lol one time she had an altercation that was hilariously sensational and for all intent could have been prevented
She took it upon herself that she's right and was the victim.
My other cousin moved out so far away so she's not in her orbit. Well I'm far awr4tok, almost like a different continent, me in mainland while she's in the island. .
It came to me that I should apologise whilst taking a quick shower anything that sits on my conscience doesn't go down well for me...
Thank you for accepting.
Go and enjoy your time...
Wish you a wonderful trip and don't let anyone spoil it for you...
As Itchyw says, don't allow this moron to spoil your day. Don't forget that you're a lady, and I'm sure the other family recognizes the sort comings and distasteful behavior of the obnoxious person. Have a blast forget about the past
He wasn t going to press my buttons, the more I ignored him, the more it seemed to irk him. And the more I enjoyed myself, the more it irked him. And then I noticed I wasn t the only one ignoring this behind. It turned out okay. I d say go out and enjoy yourself, and remember theres others there ,you give your attention to.
A person doesn t have to run away, or hide from confrontation , they just have to ignore it.
Take care lovely lady.
No I don't condone outward bizarre and untoward conduct in private or public. I speak and if it's heard or not it's alright. I am a retired professor and part of the discipline is to be a pillar of respect and good conduct.
Yet as much as we try to be collected and calm, we're human and far from being perfect.
For the record I've not nor will I ever be involved in any public display of callous and mindless acts.
My children are raised to value silence as a defense against combative people. If she will act towards earning a dramatic scene l, I'll walk out to be on the best bar in Waikiki and enjoy me some great Hawaiian punch. Lol...
If anything it'd be just a visit to my old place. I lived in Hawaii for 3 years before I moved to California.
It's in their system.
But if any consolation, there's reality in their passionate show of having so much.
They won't fail to announce about the new vehicle
I like the advice of just keeping the peace and your distance. It might be a good idea to stay especially far away if you plan on consuming a lot of alcohol.
Thanks all for your wonderful words describing your experience and opinions.
I'll respond to each soon.
On "instead of loathing them, it would be more productive for you to pity them. They are not mature and obviously not happy. A lot of pretense come from fear"
I don't loath GG. Neither do I pity. I have come to understanding that we are all different and that our behaviours like Feiry said, and you too if I remember, that these people are sick, and perhaps their experiences when they were young shaped up to who they are.
Well allow me to elaborate a little bit of one of my Aunt, whom she got it from. She was always greedy, and at the same time, if we didn't contribute to her success and or being used, we are not of any worth for her. It is very evident that she got that trait from her which is the opposite of my uncle who is the brother of my dad. Anyways, I can surmise that it is perhaps part genetic and at the same time a confirmation of a bad rearing. The difference is that she is more of a braggy, arrogant kind of person. She is not greedy, as far as I am concerned but perhaps in her dealings with business associates might be.
She thrives on showing off that the more she has, the more she can brag about and the more attention she gets. Her children are a little different, and they seem less show off, but then what they achieve and what they have accomplished in life are the very core of their mother's source of elation in showing off.
I can't pity them. I just don't have the heart to do that. For me, there is no one to deserve pity than those whose injustice in life is so well undeservingly bestowed to them. In abject poverty and hunger, those people that live without the chance of knowing the empowering feeling of having enough, those are the ones that deserve my pity.
And saying it is not enough, actions do, that is why I send boxes and boxes of goods to be distributed in my community for that purpose.
Thanks GG.
I'll be a very courteous fellow God mother and this time pretend she's a well mannered human being.
I will keep a distance alright.
No Johnny I don't drink. I can't. I become dizzy with even for a little sip.
SR
I'm not going to be sarcastic, I think I will just not acknowledge their presence and discourage any effort to participate on their clamour for showing off.
I find the best way to deal with these types is to humour them and just go along with what they are say? They just want their ego filling and make up stories just to get attention, so just be evasive with your chat with her and try to engage others, who you enjoy conversing with, or the alternative is to not take what she says seriously and try to change the subject, by talking about yourself instead, because it might put her off guard and keep her quiet for a while:) Best not to tell her how you really feel, because you will end up looking bad to everyone and she will end up getting even more attention and sympathy to feed her ego.
Arrogant people tend to have issues of low self asteem and if they know they are not centre of attention, then they feel that they have to make things up, to appear impressive to others, but best not to tell her how you really feel, because you will end up looking bad to others and she will end up getting even more attention and sympathy to feed her ego.
Hope all goes well for you
All the best Freedom
Don't I miss your over the top opinions, brilliant and crystal clear.
Miss you and your erudite and unbiased thoughts.
Very relevant source of learning.
Yes I will try to avoid engaging further connection with her.
I'm positive all our other relatives know exactly who and what she is. We had a gathering one time in San Jose, on another wedding. She
You are one of the great posters on here, but what happened to all the others? I know we still have some, but many have been gone for some time and we are not seeing enough new one’s with the same knowledge, the same debating skills, the same strength of character, the same opened mindedness to talk about the real issues in society and look for the answers.
As much as the light hearted blogs can be fun from time to time, I don’t want to be talking on them all the time and would like to see more subject matters, with real substance and meaning.
What happened to the serious subjects and interesting blogs? Do people just like the comedy and meaningless stuff these days? What can one learn from these meaningless blogs and how can one improve one’s self by reading them?
I could write about many serious subject matters, going on behind closed doors in society, but I know they would not be taken serious, nor would the current crop of members, want to get into those kind of discussions, so I stick to the meaningless subjects, just to participate.
I will get back with you.