That's what I meant when I said we are really good at kidding ourselves with the 'reason' or what motivates us to do something...
I think the more aware one is, the easier it becomes to spot when we're kidding ourselves. It helps to have a good sense of humour so we can have a good laugh at ourself.
I don't think being authentic is about caring or not what others think of me. For me being authentic starts with being honest with myself with the real reason I choose this over that or decide this over that.
At one stage I realised that many of us go trough life "reacting" rather than consciously making our choices. I have seen women drinking too much, not because they like drinking, but because they NOW CAN. Or wear some crazy outfit, not because they like it but because they NOW CAN!. And I realised I had done similar things with just about everything in my life. Even to the point of meeting someone and focussing one "what was now ok" totally oblivious to so many things that weren't!!
All come under my definition of reactions!!! And so sometime in 2006 I decided to "examine" all my choices by asking myself whether I really liked or enjoyed what I was about to choose or whether I was reacting to something from the past, be it parents, ex, culture, trauma, guilt, whatever... That was the beginning of "redefined myself and my tastes and/or choices" from a more authentic place of my own. And shedding a load of stuff I no longer needed to cart around with me.
Of course it's a never ending process because the onion has many layers and we are so clever at kidding ourselves sometimes. This is all the more apparent when we examine the real reasons we might be doing a kindness for someone. Are we doing it out of the generosity and goodness of our heart or is there in there well hidden the need to be liked and thought of well by others? Being authentic would require that we acknowledge to our-self the real reason we are doing the act of kindness although I don't think we need to tell the person at the receiving end of the act of kindness in order to be authentic.
The more authentic with self one is the less it matters if others approve or not. Because those who matter aren't bothered. And those who're bothered don't matter or rather, they walk away ...
I've noticed that the happiest people I know are true to themselves and are surrounded by people who are comfortable with who they are and love them for it.
Here in the South of Spain when women dress up they look very feminine.
These are images from Málaga. When there are celebrations many women dress in the traditional "Vestido de Gitana". I have 2 of them. 1 with polka dots and one with flowers. Even in my little village there will be many women dressed as gypsy dancers during all the "Ferias".
Yes anorexia is a mental struggle for both men and women but I think possibly women suffer from it in higher numbers. Anorexic people don't all starve themselves. They often eat "normally" but then go and make themselves vomit before they have a chance to digest the food and "get fat". Many factor play a part including low self esteem, peer pressure to be "thin" in order to be beautiful, trauma etc ...
"celebrities" are not always in the public eye because they're actors or entertainers. Sometimes they're in the public eye because they're sports award winners or politicians.... in my opinion, focussing on their wardrobe detracts from their awesomeness (or lack of )...
As for celebrities with addictions and mental problems it's the chicken and the egg... the world of entertainment is the easiest place to find whatever drug you want and get anything to keep you up, anything to bring you down, anything to push boundaries ... and probably attracted people there who wanted to get out of their own reality apart from being talented...
However, my words and my accusations were quite harsh and I apolosise. Mostly because I could have phrased what I wanted to say with a focus on the content of what was being said rather that the people saying it.
Here in Spain they have a TV in every bar and I have, on serveral occasions, caught bits of 'chat shows' which consist of pulling apart the 'wardrobe' of such or such a celebrity and what was or wasn't flattering for her figure. All done in the most condescending manner and as if they are providing the public with the most essential service
So between the anorexic people I know and have known and that kind of program when I read the comments on this threads it totally triggered me ...
May I overreacted The fact remains that the thread was about a type of clothing and there was 2 comments that mentioned her figure ... which is what set me off...
To all those commenting on the woman's waistline... get a life! It's because of people like you that young girls starve themselves to death to have a 'thinner waistline'
She's a beautiful woman who obviously likes what she's wearing! Respect!
@ Gal in mediterranean countries some women dress like that. Especially for celebrations...
The only thing we can do about feeling guilty about something that can't be put right is to forgive ourself and be vigilant so it doesn't happen again if we can help it ...
Ok. My mistake. Thought your tone of writing sounded angry. Glad it's not so
There are some in other countries too. Allegedly a cross between the delta and tge omicron. Which since the omicron was just like a common cold for most people, could mean that ''cross between the 2'' is just like tge flu'. But don't quote me on that. I'm only guessing....
I was talking about the step beyond making amends if at all possible. Guilt is a very corrosive 'trip'... The following step after 'making amends' and/or becoming aware, is to look inside ourself and heal what prompted our action/reaction so we don't do it again to somebody else which also means we'd be doing it to ourself...
You're obviously still angry with me about something
I remember now ... It was about my premonitory dream and your suggestion that I may have caused the death of my good friend's bother through my dream which made me feel indignant and I swore in my reply. You still could not let it go and claimed it was very suspicious!
After replying to you I forgot all about it
There are many studies on the nature and the power of your dreams. I don't think murder is listed as one of the powers
Now I'm curious as to what is was that my talking about a premonitory dream actually triggered in you for it to have such an impact and what you learned from it ...
I can't really remember ... I vaguely remember choosing to "walk away" from a post you wrote but I can't remember what it was about... I didn't feel didn't triggered by it whatever it was ...
Thanks for mentioning it ... I accept your unvoiced, implied apology ...
Selenite Forum Posts (6,299)
RE: Do any of the women of CS like to dress up and look good as this in a dress?
Preferences have nothing to do with political correctness...Each to their own!!