The Truth Hurts

We don’t always like to hear the truth. And if we don’t want to hear the truth, we are part of the lie. It is relatively easy to cope with an injustice – it is justice that stings. Sometimes the truth hurts.

No, don’t go yet – it gets worse.

We have seen a lot of malice and mud slinging on CS lately. Determining who is right and who is wrong and pointing out the culprits is not going to solve the problem. Look closer to home. We all have our insecurities and we are sensitive about it. It is normal.

While reading a blog a while ago, I read a comment that disturbed me. It looked as if it is aimed at me. The shoe fitted and I wore it. Maybe it was not even meant for me, but I had a guilty conscience!

The other day I read a racial joke that offended my right down to my soul. I don’t like racial jokes. I sat down and thought about it for a while; then the truth hit me like a brick in the face. Being a white South African I feel guilty about our past. I don’t want to be reminded of it. I am ashamed. It hurts!

At the moment I am convalescing after a serious illness. I have been successfully treated and I am recovering well. I have not worked for just over a year and will not be able to do so for the best part of this year. Fortunately I was fairly well off before and can sustain myself, but I’m not working – I feel inferior about it. I don’t like people asking about my work. It hurts!

So we start looking for euphemisms. I’m not unemployed; I’m semi retired. I’m not fat; I’m large. Be careful, large is not always the right word; for I have a prominent nose; certainly not a large nose! Then why am I so sensitive about it?

These are the two things that account for most of what offends us; guilt and inferiority – a poor self image; and sometimes we are not even aware of it. Be proud of what you are. If you still get offended, you are not truly proud of yourself - you are only kidding yourself into believing it.

When we talk (and more so when we write) we are bound to offend people. Especially when we tease, joke and mock as I do. Gender, race and nationality seem to be the main topics offending people. When next you feel offended by something, sit back and analyse it. If you look hard enough into your own past you may just find the root deep within yourself. If you don’t find it, don’t attach more poison to it with a comment. Two wrongs cannot make it right!

Learn to laugh at yourself and let CS be the pleasure it was intended to be.