The last few weeks my soul has been crossing the plain of desolation,
The type of place where you’re dead but alive,
The type of place where you’re human but you’re not,
The type of place where wraiths go that are beyond the grip of alcohol...
I begin to wonder whether it’s worth going on,
And then, I remember,
I remember her name,
Mz A…,
A little life colors my face,
Something very faint stirs in me,
I remember being in her sweet arms,
Interest flickers in my glazed eyes…,
Memories, bittersweet memories,
Lying in each other’s arms,
Me, the fool, her, the wise one,
Me, fishing in troubled waters, too blind to see or care?
Her, hurting so much, clinging to what meagre love she could find…,
What were those nights like?
Happy hours together,
Wooing, wanting, kissing, touching,
Talking, laughing, playing...
I spent time with her Mom, I spent time with her Dad, who were my own age,
I enjoyed her immensely,
Yet, yet beneath the surface,
I was nursing the huge hole in my soul,
She sensed the other woman between us,
I sensed the other man between us...
So, here we were, two kindred spirits,
Deeply in love with two other people,
Seeking solace in each other’s harbors’,
Like ghost ships, lost in some watery wilderness,
Like birds who have forgotten how to fly...
Yes, what were those nights like?
Can I lift the veil sufficiently to see?
I try, I give up, I give up on the night, instead I write her,
She responds, asks how I am,
She’s still hurting, her wound still there,
I sense her pain, it goes thru me like a javelin,
The healer in me responds,
I give her what I can,
I send her love and light and laughter…,
And crawl back to my memories…,
Like the forlorn Gollum character from 'Lord of the Rings',
Muttering to himself:- '...gollum, gollum..., in a land where Sun has failed and Moon is dead...'
Pressing replay over and over again…
Fast-forward a couple of years,
We meet again, we’re still two emotional shreds,
Yes, like a drug addict, I’m immensely enjoying my fix of her,
Her wounded body, tight against mine,
Her head buried in my bosom,
Her breath gentle on my chest,
Her smell calming to my nostrils,
Oh, my love, oh, my sweet darling friend,
How differently I would do things now,
How different my words would be, how different my feelings,
How different my touch, how different my kisses,
How free I would be, how happy I would be…,
But, alas, it was just not meant to be…
Adieu my sweet…
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Sep 2011
About this poem:
I wrote this about 13 years ago, I will probably always regret messing this one up, sigh..., also, this is a repost and a bit of a re-write..., why? its a favourite of mine, nostalgia??? why not eh?
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