Came to Ireland 11 years ago and planned to stay for 3 month.
I always had the opportunity to go back home anytime and only made the decision last year to settle down in Ireland.
I built up friendships when I came over that still last and have people I can rely on. I wouldn't move out of a certain area and start new without any friends and social contacts. I landed in a big group with lots of young people 11 years ago, but it has been difficult to meet new people and create new friendships when I moved to Kilkenny 3 years ago, but have managed it.
For me, having social contacts and good friends I can rely is what was important for me when I came over and are the reason I stayed.
It takes time to get to know someone and I think you have to give things time. Living together BEFORE making a decision about a possible "forever" would be vital for me.
I have always sat myself down and asked (after years being with someone and the "forever" question coming up) if I can see myself spending the rest of our life together, bringing up children and can rely 100% on this person.
Never had issues with interests or compromises from my side. We had a lot of things in common and I'm fairly self-sufficient and don't need someone around to do things all the time. Had also no problems taking someone else into account - but that sentiment wasn't returned when things got tough. Have walked away twice.
It's not my problem what people with mental illness and self-inflicted problems do, but if it too much expose of such beauties, it tends to grate on some nerves.
I met my boyfriend in a group when we met up with a few people for coffee. I didn't make it for about 3 month (had a college course on that night of the week) and was looking forward to catch up with some of the girls.
We meet with about 8 people, I mainly chatted with one of the girls and a guy I had seen once before, but never talked to. I noticed that he was bright with a cracking sense of humour, but didn't think that thought any further.
Got a text with a polite question about something he needed locally the following week (well, that was the excuse to get in touch). Thanks for the info, and would it be ok if he sometimes texts and says hi? Text away!
We run into each other for the next month about once a week and always ended up chatting for hours, we both noticed that we were being very much at ease with each other. That was how it started.
I was never a big dog person and when my mum got a dog (and I was landed to go to puppy classes with her) - all I can say she was a great companion. We always had a dog on the farm and lots of cats, finding kittens in hay sheds, collect them and their mum and bring them up inside as to not have wild cats was something I did as a kid. Our dog died last year at the age of 14 and it left a big gap in my mum's life. She just says that she is too old to get a young dog and doesn't want to take on an older dog that might die in a few years.
I know exactly what dog breed I would like to get. If possible (depending how much I will be around home in the future) I will get a cat.
I like French bulldogs and my mum had a Swiss mountain dog, best dog ever...
I come from a farm and grew up with lots of animals and I really missed not having any around when moving to Ireland. With my new place it would be possible to have a cat and/or dog, but it would restrict me with going away etc. as I don't have anyone to look after them.
Will wait for another couple of month to see how much time I will be able to spend around home and then hopefully be able to get at least a cat.
It does sound odd. But even if he hasn't a lot of "experience" with girlfriends himself, he has seen a lot going on around him - your, his siblings and nephews girlfriends. Even other relationships will give someone insights.
Even if you can tell your dad she lied about her age, it might make him more cautious. Do you know someone that knows her? Sometimes even googling a name can bring up (way too much) information.
Even if the other person doesn't like it, you do look out for your family members.
I don't think blaming society is the right way. Everyone has to take responsibility within their families, communities etc. to bring up children with social values and respect each other.
That simply doesn't work, I met a lot of dysfunctional people in the last number of years and growing up in a dysfunctional family was the reason for most.
I think starting with yourself and your family is the basis for a change.
What you wrote is very powerful mapmaker. I'm not pretending that I will ever know what you went through, war must be horrendous. I think there are some traumatic things that people will never forgot and that shape their personality. It is good you could let go and it didn't make you a cold hearted person.
KNenagh Blog Comments (3,678)
to have friends helped me to stay where I am, jobs in my area was the main reason I stayed.
RE: My Only Vice!
If he is that fond of alcohol, cigarettes etc. and very chatty, he might have thrown something else into the mix.Hope all went ok with your father Cat.