Just for the record I left him and got divorced, so we have no common ground except for the kids, births, deaths and marriages etc. I don't encourage him and stay out of his orbit as much as possible.
He baited me looking for arguements. I don't do arguements!!! I do discussion where it doesn't get personal or insulting unless backed into a corner. He was good at torturing me that way. Liked his own way and was lazy in the extreme. Loved and indulged his son and hated his daughters. That and other stuff I couldn't take any more so I left. I like peace, harmony, laughter, things being fair etc......
Deadly serious. I knew he'd look afte me and love me for the rest of his life. We have lived in different countries for the last 17 years but he still mails and tells me he loves me.
Some of the best experience over the last 10 years on the internet were falling in love with people I would be talking to for months.
Some of the worst moments on here were also falling in love and getting my heart broken.
One in particular was a man in London I was talking with for nearly a year. We just got on on every level, I fell head over heels. We talked endlessly on the phone. Hours and hours of laughing and bonding, sharing our days. He told me he had fallen in love with me too but the distance would be a problem. I had commitments here and he, there.
He said he never wanted to lose touch with me because I filled his heart, but he had met someone living close to him and decided to live with her because he didn't want to be alone... We both cried and I never wanted to feel that much pain again. It hurt just as much to feel his pain as my own.
We communicated for a long time after that and he asked me to go over to spend time with him, but I couldn't do that to someone who was tryng to have a relationship with someone else. Eventually I stopped answering his mails and phone calls, although it took nearly allthe willpower I had....
I have made some good friends on here, some of which I have been friends with for 8 or more years. We meet from time to time and share stuff in mails, so that side of being on here is a plus.
A good piece of advice I got here recently was "if they are nice to start with, then there is something wrong with them"!.
A niece and a sister in law told me the same thing this week!!!
Could be you are doing like I used to do, and figure to yourself that you will give anyone interested enough to chat to you, a chance. I was doing that. (Not passing up any opportunity).
I wasn't being discerning at all.
I got one person after another not suitable.
Looking back now, I can't say I was attracting the wrong kind. I was actually letting anyone in, wrong kind included, and doing this conciously when I made the decision to give them a chance, without seeing if they met my specifications for what I was looking for.
In fact , I didn't even have specifications for what I was looking for!!!
I was, like you, at least not going to deny myself the chance to find out if they were suitable or not........ Sound familiar?
Would need to have more details on him. Is he working there? Was he born there? Why hasn't he made an effort to meet you before? Has he invited you to his home? If not, why not?
A year is along time to be talking to someone that you really haven't a clue about. We all know people can tell you anything on here.
Very few men on here that I wouldn't want to meet for a meal or coffee or something, but none I would want to date as such, except maybe Indy, who comes close.......
Older people know that you don't sit around waiting for someone to help you decide what you are going to do with your life, you go out and live it, and in the process maybe meet someone who might fit in with your life instead.
You do have the right attitude here. I'd agree with what you said. I believe you do give it more of a chance if you are married . It's kind of a reminder to keep trying when otherwise you'd sometimes give up.
I'd definitely agree with that statement. I do that all the time.
Not so popular in reality though.
Many people take the attitude that it's not their business, which is not the same as "live and let live" in my opinion. "Not their business" is more akin to apathy I think.
Neither did King James write the bible. He ordered a version to be written out of many other versions to stop protestants and catholics taking turns to kill each othe over the wording of each of their particular versions. He was trying to unify christianity in a time when people bickered constantly over words, much like you are doing right now.
A very weird fact is that Ireland had a Gnostic version of Christianity long before St Patrick anglicised it with the Roman version. We have many Christian churches pre-dating him in Ireland.
For example in the Qur'an Jesus is refered to as Eesa, also in older Hebrew texts, ( you will find the references online among other places), long before Greek translations made it here to western europe officially. and by a very strange co-incidence our Irish/Gaeilge name for Jesus I Íosa, ( pronounced Eesa). Only a couple of other eastern countries ever used that name for him.
Also the art in our illuminated texts of the bible , book of Kells etc, take their form of art directly from the east, not the Romans or the Greeks.
The so-called pagan rites you speak of, in our case, were actually early Gnostic rites where women were not only included in Christian rites but revered and protected , much like orthodox Jewish women and (some Muslim women) still are today.
Nightmare definitely. Been there done that, still doing it with friends I would rather have been lovers with. Treat them like brothers now.
If we never knew the difference though, then it might have been enough.
Human nature being what it is though, it would have evolved, probably from fear of losing a loved one to disease or battle etc., like it probably has over millennia, to the mixed up fracas it is now, where our heart leaps at the thought or sight of a prospective person to worry about......
Haven't read that book, or any relationship book for that matter. Just sat and had a think about it and that was the conclusion or possibility I came up with.
Sometimes this brain of mine gets lucky. Wish the rest of me did...
gingerb Forum Posts (4,139)
RE: How long before you know it's "right"?
Just for the record I left him and got divorced, so we have no common ground except for the kids, births, deaths and marriages etc. I don't encourage him and stay out of his orbit as much as possible.He baited me looking for arguements. I don't do arguements!!! I do discussion where it doesn't get personal or insulting unless backed into a corner. He was good at torturing me that way. Liked his own way and was lazy in the extreme. Loved and indulged his son and hated his daughters. That and other stuff I couldn't take any more so I left. I like peace, harmony, laughter, things being fair etc......
It lasted 13 years though...........