When I was going to my meetings I was getting angry because some of the members were couples. This was a while back. I have gotten through that part of the grief. I was learning through the grief meetings that many of the things I was going through was natural for people going through grief. It was affecting my rationality. Everything was intensivefied. I was a bundle of nerves and had all these tears that I could not control. It made me almost into a mental case. Things are a lot better, today. I am not as moody, today but some days are better than others. Time has helped but when you are going through it it seems like nothing will help. It has been a year and a half and things are just now starting to make more sense.
I like the idea of an archeologist's hammer but am used to using a sledge hammer, lol. I like the geo stones so a sledge hammer is not the only hammer available, lol.
I was told something similiar in my grief share meetings. We are at the moving on stage. I have had to let go without clutching to the past. Time stands still for no man. I have been reading positive stuff to get past things. I have missed opportunities by being focused in the past. If I dwell on past mistakes or in taking notes I miss out on what is happening now. I have to take some advice and see the positive that is in it. It is a different way of looking at things for me so I have to work on it.
That is great. I have to stay in the here and now. I get to thinking of the past too much and it has an effect on me. I can get into those fears of real and imagined. I start reliving old arguments that I have already dealt with and they can just as real now as they was back then. It is like old baggage.
Good luck on the packing and moving. Moving sucks. Just my opinion, lol. I liked Oklahoma. OKC is cool. I liked Elk City on 40. The Indian places are interesting places.
I have had to accept my past. Some of it I am not proud of but that is just as much a part of me as my present is. It makes me think of Mother Mantelle. She is this pregnant lesbian priest wrote about in 1983. I think it gives a whole new meaning to the word Mother that is used by nuns.
I think that is why they say girls mature faster than boys is because girls have no choice but have to mature. Boys have the option to stay childish. I know my older sister had act like a mother when my dad was divorced. Dad and me would work in the log woods while my sister cleaned the house and made meals. Not having a choice can limit one's freedom but mature one. Just a thought.
A negative thing has given you a positive outlook. I think that is great that you have a determination to keep trying. I like the words of Star Quest. Never give up. Never surrender. Sometimes it takes an internal effort to see beyond the reality of what can seem like a hopeless situation. You are an inspiration, Mike.
I have found a difference in being childish and childlike. I have always been a big kid but in some ways had to mature which was against my nature. I had no choice. I have been examining the differences.
Is there any part of your life that you felt that you haven't examined, yet. I was just wondering if anyone had any yets that they wanted to do if they ever became single or if there was anyone single who has had hopes, desires or goals. When I was four I wanted to be a hermit. I have accomplished that, lol.
My older sister, Vivian My younger sister, Deborah My younger brother, Brian My younger brother, Scott My younger sister, Rosy My younger sister, Sherry My younger sister, Dora My younger brother, Ben
Wise choice. I am getting where I prefer to be alone. I still have some maturing to do. I have my meetings and since my grief has alleviated being alone is easier to deal with. Keep some sound in the house. Get you some really big pillows. Strike up conversations with people you come into contact with. See if there are people who enjoying doing things that you like to do. I am finding that giving up helps me to grow and forces me out of the house instead of isolating like I used to do. I am enjoying nature now like I haven't done in some time.
This is my second Thanksgiving holiday, alone. I am doing better this second one. I am getting where I prefer to be alone. It has taken some getting used to. Actually, mom invited me to celebrate with the rest of my brothers and sisters. I still have some good macaroni and cheese left, though, lol. I am working to getting my satellite turned back on. I have to remember to keep some noise like the tv or the radio on. In the place I live the television reception is horrible even though I bought the hundred mile outside antenna. In right weather conditions some channels come in good. I am just worried about lightning zapping the outside antenna. I plan on getting another cd player for the tv until I can afford to get the satellite going again. Hopefully, I can get my phone turned back on some day. Although that is a mixed blessing because the creditors have to use the mail to contact me now instead of bugging me on my phone. I hope everyone has a happy holiday.
Hmmm, let me check my calendar and see if I can set you up an appointment, lol. This town isn't big enough for the two of us, lol. Don't call me I will call you. We will do lunch, lol.
RainbowSlider Forum Posts (7,174)
You need to have eleven more.
Bubbye Loraine, Bubbye.
“The unexamined life is not worth living.” Socrates 399 BCE
A journey begins with one step. I hope your journey is enjoyable and full of new things. I couldn't please my dad no matter how hard I tried.