Flatulence And Your Personality

Research have shown that there is a correlation between your personality and the way you get rid of your excess hot air and psychologists have divided all humans into seven categories – based on the way they fart.

1. Unapologetic Farters
These people do not care about their surroundings and they will do what comes from the inside. They are brave, charismatic, adventurous, risk-taking, uncaring and bold.

2. Silent Farters
These are the people we need to be most afraid of. They are devious, evil, scheming, and are essentially very corrupt; able to put up a façade on the outside completely out of line with the inside.

3. Opportunistic Farters
These people do not walk around farting all day long but when the opportunity arises their true nature will surface. You would normally depend on them to keep it in but they won’t fail to emit their foul gases when there is enough noise to disguise the sound. In the absence of that they will create some diversion by coughing or sneezing.

4. Narcissistic Farters
These self-centred farts truly believe that their fart does not smell and in severe cases they may even believe that it smells good. They are proud, self-important, selfish, egotistical, narcissistic and arrogant bastards. Of all farters these are the most difficult to get along with.

5. Exit-The-Room Farters
These people are usually cowards, people who are scared and who had disturbed childhoods. They have very little or no confidence are always looking for gratification on the outside, believing what is good for the outside will also be good for the inside.

6. Non Farters
They often appear to be in full control, though constantly in denial and often miss out on opportunities. The real truth is that these people are so tight-arsed that they expand like a balloon when they try to fart.

7. Crappy Farters
These are the people who have not yet learned that a fart with lumps is a turd. Shit happens. They are mostly completely out of control and normally keep things inside until they blow their tops; or is it their bottoms?

With this information you can easily classify yourself without having to engage the services of a shrink but note that if you have been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder (previously known as Multiple Personality Disorder), it is possible that you may belong to more than one group.

The good news is that you will not be charged for this valuable advice; I render it as a free service in order to promote a better self-understanding.


May all your personalities enjoy today.