The Case Of The Missing Cupcakes.

Well, let’s get the record straight right from the start. It was not a case of cupcakes. It was a few boxes. 26 cardboard boxes, to be exact, each supposedly containing 144 cupcakes. 3 layers, 8 wide and 6 deep.

It is time we come clean on this. It all started when Mimi’s adopted cat offered the warehouse keys in return for a saucer of full cream dairy milk. She said Mimi only fed her on cupcakes and she was fed with it. So, being a cat lover, I gave her two saucers of milk but declined the keys. I’m not like that.

And then Jim, the gentle giant, came off his beanstalk and convinced me that it won’t be wrong to relieve Mimi from a few boxes because she had overproduced and she was flooding the market with cupcakes. I did not want to but ol’ Jimmy was so convincing that I forgot about all those nice things my mother taught me.

We stole into her warehouse one night with a train of 13 mules and we loaded 2 boxes on each mule. Jim headed the convoy and I took the back guard. As I left the warehouse following the last mule, I covertly took another box, which I carried. That box went missing along the way. I mean, what is the point in carrying an empty box? And what ol’ Jim did not know, could not hurt him.

We stashed the boxes in an old warehouse where Jim used to store the magic beans that he fed to that silly duck that he mistook for a goose. That was before he butchered the poor thing to get all the golden eggs at once. And what did he get? Zilch! Anyway, back to the topic, that was when the cheating started. When we wanted to divide the loot a few days later, I discovered that only two of the cartons contained 144 cupcakes. 20 cartons had 143 cupcakes and 4 cartons only had 142 cupcakes. Thus, 28 cupcakes went missing.

So, who was cheating who? Was Mimi cheating her customers, or was Jim cheating me? I know those cupcakes were so delicious. I secretly ate 24 when it was my turn to guard them - but somebody cheated me out of 4 and that pisses me off. Is there no honor amongst thieves?

Now I received a registered letter from a Ms Bollocks, claiming that she is representing the only heir to the now deceased Mimi, demanding payment for 27 and not 26 missing boxes. This sounds like a load of wallops to me and Jim will confirm that we only loaded 26 boxes. To date, neither Ms Bollocks nor her client could produce any proof that her dream-catching client is in fact Mimi’s heir. But I don’t know why they bother me with paying for the stuff. I pay like crime and we all know that crime does not pay.

Besides, the last time I spoke to Mimi, she said that I could have my share of the loot. Only Jim has to pay his share of it back. Unfortunately, the PM contained other intimate conversation that I cannot possibly share with anybody. It would be a gross break in confidence, even though she is no longer with us.

So, from the above you can clearly see that Jim was the wolf in the story and that I was very much the victim. I mean, who led the convoy?


Relax fellas, it is Friday!

PS
I still have a few dozen moldy stale fresh cupcakes for sale. At US$500 per dozen, it is a steal. I cannot be held responsible if the cupcakes go moldy while being shipped.