Tickets To Heaven!!
What will be next? A man and his wife were arrested in Florida for selling faked tickets to heaven to hundreds of people. They sold wood tablets (spray painted gold) on the street for $99.99 per ticket, told their patrons the tickets were made from solid gold and each ticket reserved the buyer a spot in heaven.Apparently selling tickets to heaven is not against the law, but claiming that it was solid gold is.
In his police statement, the man said:
I don’t care what the police say. The tickets are solid gold… it ain’t cut up two by fours I spray painted gold. And it was Jesus who give them to me behind the KFC and said to sell them so I could get me some money to go to outer space. I met an alien named Stevie who said if I got the cash together he’d take me and my wife on his flying saucer to his planet that’s made entirely of crack cocaine. You can smoke all the crack cocaine there you want… totally free. So, try to send an innocent man to jail and see what happens. You should arrest Jesus because he’s the one that gave me the golden tickets and said to sell them. I’m willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up…
His wife said in her police statement:
We just wanted to leave earth and go to space and smoke rock cocaine. I didn’t do nothing. Tito sold the golden tickets to heaven. I just watched.
The police confiscated over $10,000 in cash, five crack pipes, and a baby alligator.
Is this for real? Who buys wood thinking it is gold?
Comments (64)
And why a baby alligator? lol this is the most confusing part of the story
The aligator was for lunch I think, maybe it too smoked crack?
I live in Florida but haven't heard this so Jesus came
behind a KFC? they were high already
but listen to this one a woman from another state spent an hour eating at a local restaurant/she was arrested when she refused to pay the bill/she said to the reastaurant manager/God is coming to pay for what I just ate
Beats me.
But maybe Lan got it spot on.
hi love
You may be right. Smoke meat is smoked meat.
ow my poor head!!
When I read it last night, I remembered it was in your territory. I did not want to 'poach' your news so I waited for your blog. I thought you might have gotten the story. I think it happened last week. I was very relieved to see you blogging about the Beatles.
They had to be. Heaven is high.
Jesus, how come I don't have bragging rights for a wooden ticket to heaven. It's sooooo not fair but so be it.
Croc meat ain't bad. It taste very much like pork.
One cannot live on drugs only. Sometimes you need something solid in the stomach.
I can organize you a ticket at US$99.99 plus shipping and a small admin fee.
Such pity all don't see it that way.
Croc's meat is supposedly good for those asthmatic sufferers.
Regular eating of croc's meat can cure asthma
Chairman of the standards committee?
What kind of standards.
I bet he looked really good wearing that orange bra, huh?
And those 2 prostitues were at least 45 years his junior?!?
Zman I
I had it a few times but it is not available commercially here. I have never suffered from asthma though.
I was under the impression that crocs are protected in Florida. Harry will know better.
Well, he seems to cope with that in an admirable way. I'm envious of him.
It's a common sight in some of the local wet markets there and even in some supermarkets too!
Never had it before but I heard from friends that it's good
They believe that anything that has its back faces the sky can be eaten
As long as it is not a rat, mouse, a dog or a cat. Won't bother eating birds smaller than a pigeon either.
That is the norm. Do what I say, not what I do.
than what should I say?
I can organize you a ticket at US$99.99 plus shipping and a small admin fee (say US$200).
Why settle for just some stem cells if you can eat the whole thing?
Right until now while we are talking, people are still consuming all these nonsense, especially in China where aborted foetuses are aplenty due to the one child policy and also the gender selection practice!
Sounds like Rob Ford the former mayor of Toronto could have been the one they met at the KFC...lol...wouldn't be surprised...crack makes you wack...