The Real Problem Is Not Being Solved
I’m quite involved with the people living in an informal settlement about six km from where I live and the other day I dropped in to discus a few things with the community leaders. The community consist of a corrugated iron church surrounded by about 350 shacks (informal dwellings), three crèches, a few cafes and too many illegal taverns.I arrived just in time to witness a very roughed up young Xhosa man being marched past the church out of the place. Everybody stood around looking at the scene. When I asked what it was about I was told that a 12 year old girl went missing a few days ago and she was found in his shack; they were taking him to the police station.
Instead of keeping my mouth shut, I said: “Then I suppose that serves him right.” I was astonished by the reaction. Every single woman said that the young man did nothing wrong and that it was the girl who came to him.
“But she is twelve,” I said.
One of the women, a part time student, aspiring to become a social worker, aged about 28 or 29 and a mother of 4 kids – including a daughter of 11 – told me with a straight face that age is just a number and they all started at that age. Nothing wrong with it.
“What if it was your daughter,” I asked.
She pulled up her shoulders and said: “That is life.”
"And if she falls pregnant?" I asked sensing that I'm getting nowhere.
"Then I become a grandmother," she said with a broad smile.
But the real victim here is a proper education. I can only hope this is not the trend for then I fear that we have gained nothing in twenty years – we are just raising another generation of improperly schooled citizens.
But then maybe I'm just old-fashioned.
Comments (26)
Education, and a proper respect for women, including by women, and the rights of children to be children.
Now that is something else sneaking up on us here. It would appear that the children don't want to to children anymore.
This woman needs to read this verse and heed it!
that is the problem. People are not educated in this direction.
this is a way of living. Tradition so to speak. I did some asking around since the incident and although it is not the norm, first babies at the age of thirteen is not exceptional.
I don't think we want to go there again
I'm not so sure if that is true all the time. Especially this case. Why would a 12 year old girl leave a comfortable home where she had her own bedroom to shack up with a 26 year old unemployed fella living in a tin shack.
That is the way were were brought up too. but this is Africa. things are different here.
I somehow doubt it!
No, not at all. but I have given enough clues on this. The problem here is cultural differences which you will not understand or believe until you see it. As I said, thing are done differently in Africa.
I totally understand that there are huge cultural differences there.
But I have also met people who were brought up in the non-opulent (being polite) areas, who have been educated, got good jobs, and do not have 5 children by the age of 20.
Aw well, not all is bad. I know of two women, both in their forties, who had babies very early, 13 and 14 respectively. They gave birth, passed their babies on to the grandmothers and finished school. They have good jobs today and for some reason never had another child. But this is extraordinary. It does not normally go this way.
it is a country of hope, despite its problems
I cannot see it changing for the better in the foreseeable future. This is totally acceptable by all those around. I just did not realize it. It is part of the culture.
I don't think I can add to what molly said.
I feel like these young children don't get to experience any opportunity besides raising babies at such a young age.
If it's a cultural thing then it will be hard to change. Specially if their resistance is supported by the law.
The current government is corrupt and the illiterate forms the base of their support. The educated can see these thing and seeks alternative government so government will do nothing to change that. It suits them perfectly they way it is.
Yes, it is. Check my previous reply to molly.
i thought there were plans afoot to get rid of him, stick him in prison, and get in a less corrupt and stupid leader
Do it before you post another blog
I do know most of the third world are simply corrupt and change is not easy.
It must be hard for you Cat. But take care, you can only do so much.
Yes, he'll stand trail the moment he is retired but that is turning out to be a but of a problem. I think he wants to pull a Mugabe on us.
But it frustrates me to see how all the foreign aid is pilfered by corrupt bureaucrats and politicians instead of being used to uplift the people who it is intended for..